Simon

@steveallenshow All the best to you Steve. Happy Easter 🐣

I know Easter is next weekend but I couldn’t resist being first to wish you all a happy time.See, I do care.

@MikeNellis I remember the line from 30 rock ‘Rich drunk is like business drunk. Either way it’s legal to drive’

I don’t understand rich people. If you have Tiger Woods money and you want to day drink, why the hell aren’t you hiring a private driver!?

@supertanskiii Does he fly to North Korea for that cut

Not even his barber likes him.

@antrojak My Eddie died the day we exchanged on a new house. Moving without him was awful. I felt like I was leaving him behind. The new house has no memories of him which makes me sad. We bought the new house because of the woods and the common thinking how great it would be for him. I

I don't know whether it's because I'm older or because of other loss, but after having dogs for years, losing Dan has really broken me. Sorry to sound so pathetic

@BlondeOfWar Don’t scare animals for fun. It’s not funny

When you sneak up on your pup…some of these are just mean! 🤣

@flyosity @MercedesBenz My cla had metal. Felt good and was responsive. I have an e class now. They’re plastic and not nearly as responsive. I too felt it was a massive downgrade

While I was getting my car serviced, Mercedes let me borrow a new S 580e with a $144K sticker price The steering wheel has all touch controls made from cheap plastic while my 2022 GLE has aluminum buttons and knurled thumb controls What are we even doing here

@ShannonJoyRadio The escort, escorted the robot into the room

So a robot, a tranny and a prostitute walked into a bar …

@HighImpactFlix She’s the one of the left right ?

BREAKING: This awkward moment just happened at the White House.

@MattWallace888 Those poor passengers must be traumatised

I slowed down the footage of the Air Canada plane hitting the fire truck 😳 You can see how hard that impact was. It is a miracle that more were not killed.

@ArtThePatriot_ Why do American get so upset over junk food.

Everyone is feeling the fatigue

@gofishh77 This guy is not physically fit enough

Maybe not a good idea to pepper spray a police officer, just saying. It’s probably not going to end well for you.

@IainDale I disagree. I think it showed that money is their only motivation. And their fans are victims to a scam. Scammers don’t care about the people that they’re scamming

Just watched Louis Theroux Inside the Manosphere on Netflix. Did it really teach us anything we didn't know before? Really not sure it did, to be honest. I really wanted to understand what motivates these so-called Influencers beyond money and notoriety.

@drwhofan_194 I give it six weeks before you never hear about it again.

Every promo I have seen so far for SNL UK has been painfully unfunny, stilted & had zero grasp of British humour. Fully expect that it will flop badly.

@JayantBhandari5 I’d like to speak to the health and safety officer please

India's hyper-sonic bullet train that uses technology perfected during the mission to the south pole of the moon.

@saniyafatma1278 Maybe just enjoy the privacy

I seriously need some help here. My neighbor just put up this massive metal fence right along our property line and I’m honestly pretty upset about it. It completely changed the whole feel of my driveway and now it looks like I’m pulling into some kind of industrial corridor. I had no idea this was even happening until the thing was already built. It feels like my space just got boxed in overnight. What on earth can I do in a situation like this???

@Osinttechnical Thank you for the huge amount more money I had to pay to fill up my car

Hegseth: “Our ungrateful allies in Europe should be saying one thing to President Trump: thank you.”

@piersmorgan The war he’s apparently already “won”

Trump is losing control of this war.

@KeruboSk I work with dead people. That’s why

Apparently there are people who shower at night instead of the morning. I genuinely want to understand this. Night shower people… explain yourselves

@JebraFaushay He’s having a great time and I’m sure people watching are remembering where they were when they first heard it. We’re going to be losing a lot of great performers in the next few years

It’s ok to retire. You don’t have to perform anymore. Here is Rod Stewart strutting around with his tight little flare jeans and teased hair.

@bumble__lee It’s meant to be lamb. Shepherds don’t shepherd cows. That’s a cottage pie

I expected nothing and im still disappointed