Rob Ellam

@WiFiWarsUK You're doing God's work here (not that she exists of course)

@fesshole Amateur. Steal one of their mugs, clean it at home, enjoy your free coffee, then leave with the mug again. Rinse and repeat

I've never paid for a coffee in spoons, just find a table with empty coffee cups and go up to the bar and ask for a clean cup, who wants to use a dirty cup for a refill? Always works. Start the day spending nothing.

@jimsicle @anon_opin Same. Uncommon surname and got the address in 1998. That's never getting replaced.

@anon_opin I managed to get a Hotmail address with my name not having to use numbers. Beat that.

Anybody still using "Hotmail" in their email address in 2024 does not deserve any respect.

@hector_drummond @pursuitofprog My estimate is that you're an awful person

@pursuitofprog What is your estimate of the proportion of foreigners and first and second-generation immigrants in these thefts?

So... my sister-in-laws phone was stolen yesterday. Picked from her pockets in London whilst she was out and looking after her two toddlers. It was taken to an "iPhones Limited" shop in Marylebone within hours, and is now at an address in Harringay. This story shouldn't be so common but instead, jt is constant. This happens regularly and regardless of background - everyone is a target, and obviously looking after young children makes you an easier one This has become "normal". But it isn't normal and we shouldn't accept it. You may not be able to eradicate crime, but you can crush crime rates. It's about time politicians took this seriously - and stopped expecting us to just live like this.

@BritLad95 It looks like you've never pleasured a woman

Neighbour told me to take down my flag because it’s “offensive” so I bought an even bigger one! …How does it look?

@SteadRobert @anon_opin The word is "steal"

@anon_opin No I just take new ones and hit zero for bags to pay for to replace them.

Are they Bags For Life? I'd love to know the amount of people who have actually taken a broken one back to a shop and asked for a replacement.

@Jockney80 @StarrOutlook @FBAwayDays If you don't care, then why are you angrily posting about it? Sounds like you care quite a lot..

@StarrOutlook @FBAwayDays Of course. I couldn't care less of about their sexuality as long as they can play

Ipswich Town have revealed that captain Sam Morsy refused to wear a rainbow captain’s armband at the weekend “due to his religious beliefs... Thoughts? 🤔

@Jockney80 @stephenoldfiel3 @FBAwayDays Why are you two constantly having things rammed down your throats? Sounds super gay 🥰

@stephenoldfiel3 @FBAwayDays It's constant.

@ClareCraigPath @FoxyEmma50 They're not. This is rubbish designed to stoke racism.

@FoxyEmma50 Why would they be offended?

@JusticePre94209 @FoxyEmma50 This is rubbish designed to stoke racism.

@K8onX @FoxyEmma50 It doesn't. This is rubbish designed to stoke racism.

@FoxyEmma50 Why should it offend them? So unfair on the kids

@ljmcevilly @anon_opin Phil. But I think it'd be weird if we called her that.

All the people crying about Camilla being referred to as "the queen" need to get a grip. It's literally how the monarchy works, you don't get to pick and choose what bits you like. So either lick their boots or don't.

@DavidAntill4 @fesshole All of them?

@fesshole I feel sorrier for the Peter Sutcliffs, Fred Wests and Harold Shipmans of this world

My name is actually Harry Potter, 38, and the books came out when I was growing up and the movies when I was a young adult. I'm a big fan but I resent it in a way. The fact I have to tell people that I'm not winding them up when I tell them my name and the jokes at school.

@RandalCart82251 @gunsnrosesgirl3 I'm a fucking lovely person (ask anyone) and I swear like an absolute cunt.

@gunsnrosesgirl3 Their language - cursing

@SarahDuggers DINSDALE!! (Apologies to everyone too young for the reference..)

“What a beautiful home. Have the current owners been here lon-……” rightmove.co.uk/properties/153…

@anon_opin See also "Ying and Yang"

I don't care how educated, successful or famous you are, if you pronounce vice-versa vysa-versa you are a fucking idiot and deserve nothing more than my contempt.

@RevRichardColes You know Gary Barlow's massive son? It's one of his shoes.

@PikesReturn @fesshole I've bad news for you, you won't get any time back ever

@fesshole I won’t ever get the time back that it took me to read that

After I made a delicious leek and cheese omelette, I decided to have leek as a vegetable in every meal for a week. That was too easy and it became a month. I only stopped when my wife told me she was sick of leeks. I only cook them once a week now, which she's fine with

@fesshole They're 28 and 26

Told my kids that hobnob biscuits are poisonous to kids. If they're around when I fancy one, I tell them that I'm feeling a bit 'hobnobby' and I need one to stop me breaking out in 'the hobnobs'. Kids are terrified of 'the hobnobs'. Me and the dog get through a packet most days.

@Jenny_1884 Nowadays, if you say "God Bless You", you get arrested and thrown in jail...

So the police are saying it’s a crime to say God Bless You in case it offends This is a Christian country for God Sake This country has lost the plot 🙈 God Bless You All 🙏