Juliet - Freelance Writer

I once saw Les Dennis riding his bike down Greenwich Highstreet with a parrot on his shoulder. He said that now the parrot was too old to fly this was the only way he could make it feel like it was still alive. What a lovely man.

@seetickets do tickets that say print at home actually need to be printed? There is a barcode I could scan on my phone.

Why not?

A country with more than 1,300 food banks is building a £250 million Royal Yacht and teaching kids Latin.

@DeborahMeaden Look at the state of this and weep.

@AmazonHelp I'm stuck in an Amazon chat, the customer service rep seems to have been disconnected and I can't speak to them or leave the chat to start another one even if I sign out and back in again.

@itswilliamstone I think it would be on Come Dine With Me telling Jane she has a sad little life

@walkers_crisps When are we getting Salt & Vinegar quavers in Edinburgh?! This is VERY important.

We’re now on to our third consignment, you lot are thirsty. Fulfilment for this batch will start from March 1st. It may seem like a long way away but it’ll be a nice little surprise when it arrives unexpectedly😉 £1.95 postage applies, this may vary. UK only. 1 pack per person

People all over the UK went wild for our Lost Lager 4 pack & tree giveaway. Thanks! We are going to be busy at the brewery. 🙌 (and forest!🌱) We’ll be closing the giveaway at 7pm GMT tomorrow, so be sure to grab yours free before they go - bit.ly/3q9sXKj

@ThisIsTomLittle How about people who point out that the song ironic isn't actually ironic

@itswilliamstone what happened to your daily joke? *You can save this for later

@FernBrady Eurgh I had an argument with someone who thinks refugee families should be drowned at sea because the kids might have mental health problems due to escaping war torn countries and one day stab one of his kids.

I wouldn't rely on BT Internet being back up anytime soon. I've just had this through the door. @bt_uk

@LNER Unfortunately, it was an unplanned situation! I'm looking at during the day - 12pm/1pm sort of time. I do understand that it's probably not possible though.

@cloudofbats What time(s) are you trying Juliet? Given how short notice this is, it is likely that these trains are sold out. ^KM

@LNER Hey, I'm desperately trying to get to see a friend in need but every train seems to be sold out - are they actually all sold out or is there a new rule about buying tickets a certain amount of time before the journey?

@LNER I've been trying to get from Edinburgh to Grimsby either today (too late now i know!) or tomorrow

@cloudofbats Hi Juliet. What train(s) are you trying to book please? ^KM twitter.com/messages/compo…

When I got halfway through reading this and realised what it was, I definitely cried.

@SteveBugeja Someone's earning

The sort of properties I can afford to buy in London are the ones with only three photos on Rightmove and in two of them you can see a full clothes horse.

All these years we’ve been so preoccupied trying to find him maybe instead of asking “where’s Wally” we should be asking “why is he hiding?”

Every single MP worth their salt should have been saying this. Every single one - no exceptions. @DavidLammy deserves so much respect for doing so when others parroted the 'respect for democracy' nonsense.