818

I took all your songs off my playlist today

Amusement parks are not amusing

I hate sitting in traffic. Because I always get ran over

@1690OrangeLily It’s never win-win

@ShortyStacked it’s fun to watch people prancing shoeless on hot asphalt

*reading instructions on how to escape killer bees “Run away, get inside, and turn off lamps so they’re not attracted to the lights.” This is my action plan for avoiding neighbors, so I’m ready for this.

I just want someone that'll perfectly cut the crust off my sandwiches.

@Jarhead44 @AngryRaccoon2 ever ‘burn’ a copy?

I'm old enough to know what "turn" the channel and "dial" a number really means.

Here’s a picture of me with REM. That’s me in the corner

I used to only be interested in dating older men and now I just want to be with someone who watched the same cartoons that I did as a kid

Death is calling my name. SOS