Alan Jones

@SpittingImage @almurray @JoJoFromJerz you'll like this.

Trump helps out the Saudis… Brand new ep of The Rest Is Bulls*!t out now on YouTube!

@AnthonyAinsdale Are you kidding me? Boris Johnson's front bench held Priti Patel, Lettuce Liz Truss, crazy Nadine Dorries and Jacob Rees-fucking-Mogg!!!

I'm 48 and agree with this post. 👇

America, I'm embarrassed for you. Your president is a f*cking idiot. And surrounds himself with other f*cking idiots.

@cleanplateblog It's a yay from me. Ok, tbh I'm not a huge fan of polenta but there are plenty of things on there I would order!

Ok Twitter your opinion please. A good friend of mine wants to relaunch his restaurant with a new direction, and would like your reactions to this sample menu. No names, no pack drill. Yay or nay?

Yes. This... ⬇️

@Help_C2C Great, thanks.

@AlJones38 Thanks Alan, we have sent this onto the team 🌳 Helen

Good morning, our emergency contact lines are experiencing high call volumes. Please report any fallen trees or highways issues that are likely to cause serious accident or injury here. Connect to Cardiff agents will report to the emergency teams.

@Help_C2C @cardiffcouncil Have you received the report of the fallen tree in Hampton Court Road, Penylan?

@Luisa26445346 @cardiffcouncil Hi Luisa, this has already been reported in thank you. Teams are busy clearing any emergencies that are a danger or threat to life at present, and clearing the main roads but will attend to locations as soon as they can. Thanks, Helen 🌳

Our tree teams are #WorkingForYou today to assess trees in our woodlands, parks and streets for storm damage. Damaged or fallen trees can be reported via our social media feeds, or for out of hours emergencies, call 029 2087 2087 (option 5) with exact details of the location.

Ed Davey is spot on here. Now, more than ever, we need to break ties with America and focus on rebuilding our relationship with Europe. You can’t have a “special relationship” with a treacherous fascist.

@cleanplateblog The one on Albany Road? I'll be gutted if that's gone, it's the best take-away down there by a long way...

Can't work out if this is genuine, or an elaborate joke at HMRCs address...

@thecarolemalone Oh, because of course the Tories are all paragons of virtue!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I don’t know how these people sleep at night !!

@michaelsheen lovely to meet you on Saturday. Thank you for your time, diolch yn fawr, you were very gracious. It was much appreciated. Don't know if you saw us perform but we came second. Very chuffed!

@MolinesPinto @tim_brannigan 🤣

@AlJones38 @tim_brannigan Think you must have knocked your head mate

Here’s the guy who should’ve been elected as the new British Prime Minister.

@MolinesPinto @tim_brannigan What, the UK?! Yep, you're not wrong there mate.

@AlJones38 @tim_brannigan Enormous unemployment problems, welfare state limited and fucked...High taxes for nothing. Great place

@qikipedia So all we need now is for someone to do it to Farage!

In 1908, suffragette Mary Molony followed Winston Churchill around for a week and rang a bell every time he tried to speak in public.

I have a cartoon in the current Private Eye.

@BBCSportWales @BBCScrumV Could've been worse...

And breathe...😅 How do you reflect on Wales vs Scotland? 🤔 Let us know in the comments ⬇️ #BBCRugby

@Braun Hi Braun. I have an S5 which I use every day. How often should I change the blade block?

🍷🇪🇺 I spent a lot of time during my late teens working in bars, and I remember lots of people ordering wine. I remember them ordering small glasses, large glasses, whole bottles, sometimes several bottles at a time. I even remember the odd person enquiring about buying a magnum or a jeroboam (though mostly just in jest). I also remember people complaining about things. I remember them complaining that they could no longer order a pint of beer, hand over a pound (in paper note form) and get some change. I remember them complaining that they could no longer chat with the person next to them without being drowned out by a jukebox or interrupted by the beeps, bleeps and bangs of a video game. What I definitely DON’T REMEMBER is anyone - not a single person in all the years I spent behind those bars - ever mentioning, never mind requesting, a pint bottle of wine. And that should tell you everything you need to know about this one-pint bottle of wine announcement: There is no demand for one-pint bottles of wine. No one wants to buy them. No one cares whether they exist or not. It’s a total non-issue. The fact that this nonsense is heralded so triumphantly by Brexit loyalists says a lot about where our country is today. These Brexit die-hards know that, in stark contrast to the promises made by the snake-oil salesmen during the referendum, Brexit isn’t delivering solutions to the actual problems people have in their lives. It isn’t making food, electricity or gas more affordable. It isn’t making it easier to access hospital treatment or to get decent social care for elderly relatives. It isn’t increasing people's take-home pay or providing better jobs for young people. Frankly, if anything, it’s making those things worse. And because of that, they are obliged to come up with fantasy problems to which they can claim their fantasy Brexit is the solution. Our passports are the wrong colour. The emergency exit signs in the Dartford Tunnel havw odd numbers on them. Everyone’s distraught because they can’t buy wine in pint bottles. It’s all so trivial and so very tedious…and particularly maddening when millions of decent people across the country are struggling with extreme hardship on a daily basis. But perhaps we can do something about it. There is almost certainly going to be a general election in 2024. That election provides an opportunity to push back against ‘nonsense government’, to insist that our elected politicians stop taking us for fools and start putting our REAL priorities front and centre. The first step in that process is to get them to face facts. Most of the politicians who will be seeking our votes next year have already made clear they will not engage in any form of Brexit debate. They don’t want to go over old ground. They don’t want to replay the debate about whether Brexit was right or wrong. And that is absolutely fine. Brexit is done. The country made its decision. We left the EU. There is no way to change that decision now, and there is no immediate route back to EU membership. But what is NOT FINE is them using that as an excuse to avoid dealing with the very real damage being done by ‘Long Brexit’. In the same way that we have come to realise a bout of COVID-19 can have significant negative effects on our health months and even years after infection, it’s increasingly clear that Brexit is having a significant negative effect on our national well-being all these years later. As with Long Covid, the symptoms of Long Brexit are often difficult to recognise and to disentangle from other underlying issues. But disentangle them we must because, in the same way that Long Covid can persistently reduce the quality of someone’s life, Long Brexit is persistently weakening our economy, fraying the fabric of our society and undermining the institutions on which our democracy depends. If we do nothing else in 2024, Let's at least ensure that we use our democratic power to elect politicians with the courage to find a cure for Long Brexit so we can start getting our country back on track. [If you read all the way to the end and you agree with the above, please follow me and retweet this post to spread the word. Thank you!🙏]