Calvin

If I get to 1k followers I will eat a roach.

@lowkeyalbert I save so much money in the end so it’s totally worth it 🙏🏾💯

me after realising my single era is actually a lifestyle not an era

@Okay_Bye___ No one asked but twitter and other social media platforms for an actually bad for your mental health.

Me after typing "no worries" while actually experiencing few major worries and questioning everything

@lowkeyalbert Yeah then I go to a local Wendy’s and eat the biggest food on their menu 😔

you know its bad when people start telling you you are the strongest person they've ever met

@be_like_ice I hate this fucking movie so god damn much I swear I will NEVER watch it again. She completely wasted bro time on PURPOSE.

Me ignoring every girl cause I know how it ends every time.

@wtfzeezco Bro just tune the car around and go to Disney land, it works ALL the time for me😆

me on my way to a meetup i initiated when i was in a very good mood:

@dictator_jii Nah what I do is talk even MORE then they go insane and angry because I start to talk about my Star Wars collection.

Me losing all my humor and social skills the moment someone I don’t know joins the conversation

@ewedunega Oh really? Then just drink some eye drop stuff then you will fall asleep and NEVER wake back up

feeling like you want to sleep but you can't because you're overthinking

@dictator_jii I think I finally understand twitter now, Comment my opinion on random things even tho no one asked

When the dream you just woke up from was the sequel of your dream when you were 7

@user0000O0 1) wake up 2) watch all my favorite shows and movies 3) drink Dr Pepper then sleep

@lowkeyalbert I tried this once and she threw a baseball at me but it missed and broke my bedroom window. I don’t own a baseball bat…

when i hit my limit & go nonverbal

@uhtriad YES!!! I have watched Mr robot 4 times and each time feels like the first. I highly recommend it.

how it feels to rewatch a show when you have a horrible memory

I saw the most beautiful movie tonight. #projecthailmary

@TheRooster My friend had a toxic girlfriend who said this exact line to him over the phone and once we found he changed his number and social media

The type of shit bro tells me just to play one more game

@yducknow Oh shit up.

what a boring planet… no fairies, no elves, no mermaids, no dragons, no vampires, no ware wolves….. just bills, stress, gossip, and insufferable people

@nostalgia_ I saw this movie last week and I was definitely disappointed. 2/10 I don’t recommend watching this on shrooms

Office Space (1999)

@karthikponna19 That’s me on a random Sunday night trying to finish ALL the shows I want to watch and try to make time for Friends and family

mfs when they try to manage > 9-5 > gym > 10 hrs of sleep all together:

@eternaltxts You people need to shut up and stop being so damn sad all the time. We have so much to live for!!!

what are u slowly losing interest in?

@MKBHD I still have ALL my iPhones and I see the difference between each camera!! Thank god for Steve

iPhone 1 thru iPhone 17, taking the same photo

Rage can do strange things to the mind. -the joker