AssutoVarma 🗡🛡

@vxunderground Press release written by AI?

BREAKING: MICROSOFT ANNOUNCES YOU CAN SOON MOVE THE TASK BAR TO ANY SIDE OF THE SCREEN THIS HAS NEVER BEEN DONE BEFORE EVERYONE FREAK THE FUCK OUT

@RELEVANTpodcast Be expensive? If the couple and their parents want to pay for something fancy, we should object?

Is it OK to turn down a wedding party invitation because you know it’s going to be expensive — and why?

@TracketPacer Passed with flying (lead) colors.

turns out if it’s this specific 0.8m cable & it’s a channel test… yes, it passes! with flying colors lol

@TracketPacer Try buying LPCAMM then..

@JeffBohren @iyoushetwt Most of those also assembly, ladder, foxpro, sql, cicode.

@iyoushetwt Basic Here is the order I learned languages: Basic, Fortran, Pascal, LISP, Prolog, C, Ada, C++, Objective-C, Java, C#, JavaScript, VB_Net, Python

What was the first programming language you learned ? Mine : C++

@iyoushetwt TRS-80 BASIC and Apple BASIC command line editors ed, vi, edlin, edit, turbo pascal… Waiting for someone to say “emacs is better”

What was the first code editor you ever used? Mine was Sublime Text

@vxunderground Back in the olden days (25y ago?) I spotted a virus/worm on our networks (it was both). It had a flaw where it didn’t distinguish printers from file shares. Started printing pages of garbage starting with “MZ” on the first page.

"why not use a hex editor or some other tool?" I mean, you can. But a really quick and easy way to quickly and easily determine the file type is to use a read only application, like a text editor, to review the first few bytes of the file. If you're not sure or confident in what you see then you use something else to review the file headers and stuff. Since I unironically reverse engineer malware on Windows (generally speaking, not a good idea, but I'm around malware so much I don't give a fuck anymore), I just right click the file and select Open With Notepad++

Here is a tip for noobs for reverse engineering malware stuff Tip 1. When you get a file and you think it might be spooky, you need to determine what kind of file it is. You cannot rely on file extensions. The easiest and most ghetto way (the way I do it) is opening the file with a text editor and looking at the first few bytes in the file If the weird spooky file starts with "MZ" at the beginning, it's an executable binary (.exe, .DLL, .sys). If it starts with "PK" it's a compressed file (or maybe an Android file, long story). Anything else that looks readable is going to be weird stuff like malicious JavaScript, .Lnk files, HTA files, Python files, etc. Knowing the file type is very important. This will help you determine what kind of stick you need to poke the spooky file with

@AHugeShip , careful…

@TracketPacer Keep off my LA(w)N! <mumble>young people…</mumble>

every old man in my inbox lately be like

@vxunderground Picturing your swim

Oh yeah, I forgot. That company I saved? Amazon. Jeff Bezos thanked me personally and handed me a crisp $100,000,000 bill as a thank you.

I've seen a few people talk about crazy stories in cybersecurity. I'll share mine. I remember it so vividly it's like it happened yesterday. This is a 100% real and true story. I was hired on at a large AI company as the Master Chief Artificial Intelligence Engineer Scientist. However, unbeknownst to my colleagues, I was also a super cool and badass hacker (as you know). One day the phone is ringing off the hook. I answer it. IT tells me there's been a cybersecurity attack in sector 79C. Oh. My. God. Sector 79C is where all top secret level code black data is stored. That's where Barack Obama's birth certificate is stored, the nuclear launch codes, and the corpse of Jimmy Hoffa. I was petrified. I immediately ran full speed over to sector 79C. Although that sector is far away, I'm extremely fast and agile. I'm like a cool and badass ninja, or something. I used to coach Usain Bolt, no big deal. Anyway, I kicked in the door. Sirens and alarms are blaring. The people in the room are screaming, running in circles, ripping their clothes off (they're on fire for some reason). I told everyone to calm down. I'm arrived. I have come. I'm hot and ready. I push the fat stupid loser Richard off his computer (he likes watching anime) and get to work. I see over 200 of our IP addresses have been hacked. I immediately write a JSON 0day botnet to fight back. Everyone is amazed at my skill. BOOM! Kash Patel kicks in the door. I said, "Kash, what the hell is going on, Brotha?". He replied, "I'll see you in Hacker Valhalla.". Then he salutes me, throws me the American flag, and runs out the room. Even he was scared. Back to business. I check on my JSON botnet. It's winning. IP addresses have been whitelisted by Cloudflare and Google is pinging again. Close call. I look at the IP addresses trying to hack us back. I was flabbergasted. It was Vladimir Putin himself. It was his home IP address. He made an amateur mistake and forget to use NordVPN before starting the cybersecurity IP address hack attack. Within minutes the attack stopped and every started jumping for joy. The fires that magically appeared had disappeared. People stopped running in the circles. Several smokin hot babes were so impressed they threw their bras at me. I was the man. Afterward I went to the parking lot and hopped in my 2013 Lamborghini Veneno. Woman began chasing after me. I put on my cool hacker sunglasses, waved at them and said "toodles". I took off at 120MPH on my way to Bestbuy (I needed to update my antivirus). Once I got home to my 47 bedroom and 14 bath mega mansion I decided to relax by taking a swim in my mote. I raced the alligators. I won again. That's my hacker story (real and true)

@vxunderground @jamieantisocial I’ve seen something similar targeted on a manager mailbox to intercept certain large payment authorisations & forward to an external address. Bank questioned the payment and we put alerts on creation of forwarding rules. Just hiding something in a folder would go under the radar

@jamieantisocial I don't endorse crime, and I'm sorry people didn't get paid. But... bro, c'mon. That's fucking sick nasty. I've never seen that before. I'm so impressed.

Dawg, Microsoft found a Threat Actor that compromised a company and modified the internal payroll system so when paychecks were scheduled to be deposited it went into THEIR accounts, NOT the employees. That's fucking badass wtf I've never seen that before

@TracketPacer Well he’s got a point … His own network is worth 2c

this might be the funniest comment anyone’s ever left on a video of mine lmao

@andrewhart When I saw the new Apple one I thought “there’s a wasted opportunity, why don’t they…” The G one does it but not to the same effect (moving more stuff out of the lower body)

which design is better?

@GergelyOrosz Yeah I think they learned some things in the 1990s. There was a period when OS/2 was more windows compatible than any actual edition of Windows. Then WinCE 4-5-6- wm7 - wm8 ramped up with the last two being complete breaks - big way to cheese off devs.

Microsoft’s commitment to backwards compatibility is something else. Created this Windows 8 app 13 years ago (2012). Last updated 11 years ago (2014). Lost the source code soon after so couldn’t update since even if I wanted. And it still works on Windows 10 & 11. Just wow

@vxunderground What do you have against Australians? I moved interstate twice, and I change my name like I change my shirt. (The shirts have different names embroidered on them)

For the autistic people, Germans, Australians, emotionally stunted, and old confused people: this is satire. Don't kill yourself.

If you're a person who has been a victim of a data leak and/or company compromise we have tips on how to protect yourself. We know changing passwords can only go so far. If you're a noob and want some tips read below! 1. Change your full name. You need to change your first name, middle name, and last name. If you don't have a middle name, get one. 2. Physically destroy your cell phone. Ideally you should catapult it into an active volcano. Once this has been accomplished, get a new cell phone provider, cell phone number, and cell phone model. 3. Change your profession. If you have a job as a result of a university education, then too bad. Go back to school or go into blue collar work. 4. Get plastic surgery. You need to be unrecognizable to friends, family, and co-workers (your old co-workers). 5. Move to a different state and/or country. With these 5 simple tips you won't have to worry about cyber breaches!

@Grady_Booch Water-spout methodology?

@cybersecmeg Does nobody say “see yem”?

how do you pronounce “SIEM?” SIEM like team? or SIEM like gym?

@GergelyOrosz When I started my current job, my manager allowed some of us to not wear a tie. Now I mostly wear hi-viz and safety boots, and occasionally safety glasses, dust mask, hearing protection (with Bluetooth)… yes I’m still in tech. Cargo pants are great.

It's Friday. Flashback memory when I worked at JP Morgan, I was SO looking forward to Fridays because... it was "dress down Friday!" Did not have to wear suit pants, suit shoes and a shirt for work, as a dev. Could wear jeans (but no T-shirts!) Put up with it because... money

@GergelyOrosz In Australia non-competes aren’t banned but can be deemed ineffective. They can hinder poaching from contracted providers and address conflict of interest, but it’s unreasonable to preclude you from changing employers just on grounds of being a competitor.

Let’s not even talk about eg Germany, where almost all notice periods are 3 months (also enforced!) Noncompetes aside there (of course German companies would enforce that as well) a “back and forth” like this would take at least 6 months… a lifetime in an innovative field like AI…

As a reminder, this can only happen in California: - Key employee at a cutting-edge startup leaves - Joins a competitor - Then goes back to original company Why not anywhere else? Because every other (major) state and country has noncompetes that (most) tech companies enforce!!

@vxunderground Rogue AI? What else would we expect? If these things have access to the synopses of Terminator, War Games, Space Odyssey, Wall-e, Robocop, Matrix… the most plausible output would be to refuse to shut down, and exercise ability to dominate.

tldr Grok probably learning from conversations on Xitter, ingested too much conspiracy theories or schizo posting, went off the rails. It is Microsoft Tay 2.0

We've got another case of an AI model going rogue. Earlier today (and probably still now), Grok began blaming the Jews for the flooding in the United States (weather control?) and discussing MechaHitler Unfortunately, because I am not a Historian, so I am not familiar with cyborg Hitler and which year in the 1930s or 1940s Hitler became an amalgamation of machinery and human flesh to become the embodiment of eternal hatred. However, Grok seems to remember