Bryson Briggs

@CattardSlim An Epstein-compromised businessman, a ketamine-addicted illegal immigrant, a self-hating Nazi-feratu, and a 43 year old meme-lord whose own face is trying to *eat* his own face walk into a bar...

These chuds couldn't rig up a fishing pole, set up a canvas tent, or change a dirt bike tire between them. Yet they're Magas top alphas. That's all you need to know about Maga. 😂

@Acyn Which is a significant detractor because it means my phone will degrade faster and be obsolete sooner as it's not receiving updates. Does anyone expect the Trump corporation to bankroll ongoing support for a product they clearly did not want to produce in the first place? [2/2]

@Acyn Thing MAGA needs to remember is it can't just be a phone; there's got to be ongoing support for the phone. For instance, I have an Asus phone. It's a good phone. But Asus decided to abandon its smartphone market to pursue AI dollars, so it doesn't have ongoing support. [1/2]

Patrick Holland who reviewed the new Trump phone describes the color as: Sometimes it looks like those gold coins that Scrooge McDuck would jump in… and yet other times it kind of looks like a urine sample.

@mbolan67 @NPRinskeep Just copying America's greatest President; Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Camacho.

@NPRinskeep This is so funny to me.....only with Trump would this ever happen. He is so original, unpredictable, and wonderful......

Over the weekend, the UFC announced this rendering of what MMA cage matches on the White House lawn should look like on June 14. 1/2

@JonChurchEA @JoeBiden I can agree to that.

@BrysonBriggs2 @JoeBiden I prefer you say tractor because it benefits me

Generation after generation, men and women put on the uniform knowing the risk — and went anyway knowing they might not come home. Knowing their families would carry that for the rest of their lives. To the families still carrying that weight — I see you. The pain doesn’t go away, but neither does the pride. Freedom has never been guaranteed. It has to be earned, defended, and sometimes paid for in the hardest way imaginable. Today on Memorial Day, we stop, we slow down, and we remember those who did. We honor them. We thank them. And we work hard to live up to what they died for. Keep the democracy they believed in worth believing in. That is the ultimate tribute for their sacrifice.

@_ayandamay The face that launched a thousand racist memes...

Maybe Lupita is a really good choice for Helen of Troy. All I’ve seen is men fighting about her...

@JonChurchEA @JoeBiden Still not a vehicle though, right? Which is my point. One thing can't also be another thing.

@BrysonBriggs2 @JoeBiden No no Bryson, you drive a tractor

@JohnSmith75757 @JoeBiden For the one millionth time, I don’t drive a vehicle, I drive a car.

@JoeBiden For the one millionth time, America isn't a democracy Its a Constitutional Republic

@ToddShaffer @gelliottmorris @ggreenwald America failed when it elected a rot-brained snake oil selling carnival barker to its highest office the first time, let alone the second. America’s failing not just because Iran or even because of Trump but because of everything that led to him.

@gelliottmorris @ggreenwald Some people want America to fail horribly just so Trump can take an “L”. Fucking despicable.

one of the best tweets of all time

@StevenCheung47 No fan of Pompeo but it's not a stretch to says he knows more about Iran than you do. After all, Trump hired him as his CIA Director AND his Secretary of State. Only thing he trusts you with is posting memes and AI slop on the Internet. And you're not great at it.

Mike Pompeo has no idea what the fuck he’s talking about. He should shut his stupid mouth and leave the real work to the professionals. He’s not read into anything that’s happening, so how would he know.

@Askforken @ShadeSalvo @nytimes Yeah, even if they *have* an agreement with you and you're abiding by it they'll just claim you're not and rip it up.

@ShadeSalvo @nytimes Yup. They'll bomb you even while you are at the negotiating table.

The U.S. and Iran have agreed in principle to a deal that would reopen the Strait of Hormuz with a commitment from Iran to dispose of their highly enriched uranium, a U.S. official said on Sunday. The official added that the deal has not yet been signed. nyti.ms/4f5aVWy

@SethAbramson I'm 95% through baking a birthday cake, I just need to go to the shop to buy the ingredients.

This post would be the funniest thing Frank Luntz has done since being born but I have a sinking feeling he's being his version of serious

@WhiteHouse How many days of fucking around with Iran does that buy us?

Another day, another costly Biden-era policy terminated. $2.4 BILLION SAVED ✅

@Cedi_Joseph @mehdirhasan Put a bomb up a character's ass and explode him from the inside in episode #2 but miss me with that gay shit.

@mehdirhasan They ruined a good show with all that gay sexual stuff

The character based on him is killed in it.

@score38 @therealKripke @TheBoysTV The Boys had already written, filmed, and edited Homelander dedicating a golden statue of himself before Trump did it. Life imitates art, even when you’re trying to create an unbelievably over-the-top parody version of a malignant narcissist.

@therealKripke @TheBoysTV you really had to ruin it after s3 didnt you?

HAHAHAHAH. He's posting. MULTIPLE TIMES. Also I have notes on his joke writing. #TheBoys @TheBoysTV

@JHartley2 @therealKripke @TheBoysTV

@therealKripke @TheBoysTV We have some notes … But also genuinely want to know how a rando with $100 in AI spend make somethingbetter than you, your entire professional production team with a multimillion dollar budget?

@Aliathewhite Is this a side-effect of terminal media illiteracy? Dude - it's fine to like the villain as a character. Homelander is fun and Antony Star is brilliant. But understand that he is the villain. The things he does are bad. When he gets his comeuppance it's good. Basic stuff.

“Oh no, conservatives like our villain!” So they made him suck dick and beg for feces. Peak satire.

@RAltreight @RpsAgainstTrump Golf: Yes UFC events: Yes Eldest son's second wedding: "Ahh, geeze, I'd love to but..." It's fine though; I'm sure he'll attend Don Jr's next wedding.

@RpsAgainstTrump He could be enjoying himself at his son's wedding, but he's making a sacrifices every day to do what is best for all Americans. Hardest working President ever. Always working for We the People.

Trump suggests he won’t attend his son Don Jr.’s wedding this weekend: “He’d like me to go. I’m gonna try and make it. I said, ‘This is not good timing for me. I have a thing called Iran and other things.’”

@TheRealNinaMoll @thelefttake A waddling bird-brain with no business being in Greenland. Oh and hey, look, a penguin.

@thelefttake The same goes for the penguin photo: a penguin that leaves its colony for the distant mountains instead of heading to the sea is headed for certain death and, in effect, committing suicide. At least he's not alone.

Just in case the one-eyed man-eating giants, multi-headed sea monsters, ship-swallowing whirlpool beasts, witches transforming people into animals, casual visits to Hell, and direct intervention of Olympian gods wasn't enough of a clue, The Odyssey is not a historical story.