Caps Midnight

@SkyNewsAust The AFP are just full of Champs.

The Australian Federal Police has not closed the door on action against Pauline Hanson over her comments about Muslims more than three months after the saga. skynews.com.au/australia-news…

@JasonClareMP You bastards must have trouble lying straight in bed at night.

Power bills are going down, driven by our record investment in renewables. The Australian Energy Regulator has announced bills will drop by up to 10% for households and 20% for small businesses. For the first time ever 50% of Australia’s energy was generated from renewables and it’s making the price of electricity cheaper.

@AlboMP Stick it up yours or Joyce's arse. No wonder the country is rooted. I suppose you don't know what you are doing anyway, so might as well bring up a distraction.

@FINALLEVEL I truly respect anyone that stays with a physically deformed partner. Hats off to you sir.

Coco got me to do a Tik Tok. 🤪

@JimmyBarnes That's OK for the girls. Can you do a Whisky and Mango ice cream tomorrow?

Who doesn’t love home made ice cream? Tonight… Earl Grey Tea and banana … believe me it works.

@WilliamShatner I'll send you another one to add to your collection if you like. All I ask is that you hook me up with some single foxy sheila to marry. You must know a few. Prerequisite, though, 'must like cows and not look like one'.

I am apparently a very popular person when it comes to wedding invites. Here's a sample of wedding invites that I randomly picked out of the pile. 🤔 It makes me wonder how many more invites are in that pile? Congratulations to all! My best, Bill #billsfanmail

@KatyKray73 Tony and Peta have always been on our side. Seen that for many years. Expect comments from ol Rdrizzle dick that hate veterans.

Great news: The travel allowance for Doug & Kaye Baird, parents of the late Corporal Cameron Baird VC MG, has been reinstated. It supports them attending commemorative events, schools & RSLs to honour their son’s legacy. 👏🏼 🇦🇺

@AriMattiComedy hammastega?

kuidas sa tyra rukolat hammustad

@LeilaniDowding As a kid, we had a neighbour's dog like that, called Hilda, frequent our house daily. Even my 2 cats didn't feel threatened. Great memories. Thanks for the pic.

My little nephew Dougie. bank holiday baby sitting

Melbourne has just sold out. Doing my charity work and will ship 100000 more of these to the greater Melbourne area free of charge. No need to thank me Mohommed and Misshommed. Treat is on me and local farmers that respect our livestock.

@Scott__Cheggs Going to repost🤣

Fatima wanted to spice things up in the bedroom for her husband.

@Scott__Cheggs Yep, that sucks. Do that with 90% humidity and if you haven't wiped your arse properly after an earlier shit, well, the ol shit stain may appear on the outside of your drawers. P.S Don't wear white coloured trousers.

@CapsMidnight 31 here at the moment

Current status

Shit, you have hit that mark. Give it 5 years and you'll get undies, socks, and Port. Time to let friends and colleagues to know to think outside of the box. A funny card, Whoopie Cushion, one of those tit shaped coffee mugs, or the old waving hands you used to put on your car's dashboard.

Finished opening my birthday presents. Turns out that my chosen family know me far too well…

@LeilaniDowding You were born a hundred years too late.

Things I’d rather do on a beautiful summer day than go out in one of our stabby British cities,

@AriMattiComedy Dude, lose the 'bum bag'. It is sooooo 1990's European gay.

RALEIGH NORTH CAROLINA im there in two weeks get your tickets now.

@Scott__Cheggs Why have I always got to be the grownup in these conversations? Scotty, start the car up, wait till it gets warm, and put the pans on the engine. And for God's sake make sure the garage door is open.

The Mrs went out early this morning so I was left to make my own breakfast. I think the cooker must be broken, I can't get it to work. 🤷‍♂️

@TheGriftReport It would be like rooting thin air.

Adult star Lily Phillips’ new boyfriend proudly declares “I’m in love with her, her 101-man sex marathon makes me so proud.” 24-year-old OnlyFans creator Lily Phillips, famous for her headline-grabbing stunt of sleeping with 101 men in one day, is now in a serious relationship with 27-year-old Australian Sammy. The couple met a few months ago at the home of mutual friend and fellow adult creator Annie Knight in Australia, hit it off immediately and moved in together shortly after. Sammy told the Daily Star he doesn’t focus on the “work side” of Lily’s career, viewing her instead as “a human being” and describing her extreme content as “creative” and “a form of art.” He added: “I’m so proud of everything she does and how hard she works… I don’t get jealous at all. She comes on to me at the end of the day.” The pair keep work and personal life completely separate and have agreed that Lily no longer kisses colleagues on set, as they both find kissing too intimate. Umm....

@DonnaLouise1212 5. Lack of enthusiasm from English skinheads to participate.

You'd be forgiven for thinking this was Pakistan. This is the Birmingham Lord Mayor's party. There are 4 things missing Women (the waitress doesnt count) Children White people Cutlery

@Scott__Cheggs Is this in the Louvre or is it in a private art collection?