Carol Jennings

@AlexandriaVAGov Is that midnight tonight or midnight tomorrow night?

Traffic Alert: The Pride of Baltimore II will be sailing into Alexandria's harbor at midnight (12 a.m.) on Thursday, April 30. The Woodrow Wilson Memorial Bridge will open to allow the ship's passage. Expect delays and follow all posted signs.

@SpaniardUSA @John_Hudson That's OK, we don't want you here.

@John_Hudson In person??? Not even to get "Trump passport" I will set foot in that cesspit. Bummer, I'm due for renewal.

New: For those who don't want Trump's face on their passport, they can renew online or go to a passport agency outside of DC. But this will be the only available passport for those who show up in person at the Washington Passport Agency until this limited edition runs out

@_emoles Get the cat fixed

My dad's cat had 3 kittens and now she doesn't play w him anymore. He's been walking around the house calling her name like she owes him an explanation.😭

@_bespoken @DrewVento It’s terrible.

@DrewVento So does Panera Bread. I don't get the appeal. It also is very expensive for what you get.

Starbucks food tastes like it was 3D printed

@Mattisamazing33 We had cartridge pens in the 60s. Very messy.

I’ve received enough handwritten cards to know that Americans have much nicer handwriting than the rest of the world. I presume you were taught how to write properly in school. In the 70s we had to write with a fountain pen and that did give you a great foundation

@cara_jeffrey Cheater.

Alex Cora preferring unemployment over managing the Phillies is very funny to me

@rockmeannadeus My cat used to wake me up because he wanted canned food. The dry food in his bowl was inadequate.

cat kept waking me up last night, which i would normally be annoyed about, but it was to show me all the toys that she brought upstairs so i cried a little instead

@xvermonter61 You have such a pretty lawn.

Tuesday zoomies! #DogsofTwitter #TuesdayMotivation

@BBGreatMoments Nope. Pitchers are rally killers.

National League baseball was more fun when managers had to think around the pitcher’s spot.

@mpirruccello1 @paulasue68 @gen_z4961 Maybe they are immunocompromized.

@paulasue68 @gen_z4961 That’s your take on the post? 🤡

Full flight ready for takeoff from Miami to Atlanta today and one passenger refused to get off her phone. Apparently she was chatting and didn’t want to hang up...? What should’ve been a smooth departure turned into a full on standoff on the tarmac... 😳

@WalterTheGolden @FinnFifth That tiger looks bad!

@FinnFifth Tiger

Tiger, tiger

@CandaceDBuckner @spencernusbaum_ He's a cheater.

Sometimes observing a scene IS the story and @spencernusbaum_, moonlighting on the Red Sox beat, takes us all into Boston’s clubhouse after Alex Cora was fired. And does so by expertly observing then reporting exactly what he saw. Good details in here: nytimes.com/athletic/72322…

@dog964450058141 I slept on air mattress with my dog.

@BBGreatMoments No.

Who else misses watching the pitcher hit in National League games 🙋‍♂️

@ThrillaRilla369 I stuck with it, and I have the streaming subscriptions too. Outrageous amount of money, but you gotta have them.

Are y’all ready to talk about how we probably should’ve stuck with cable TV instead of juggling all these separate streaming subscriptions?

@0xleegenz Who has money for an extra mortgage payment?

Realizing a 30 year mortgage doesn’t actually mean 30 years: - 1 extra monthly payment per year can cut 5 years off - 2 extra payments per year can cut about 8 years off - 3 extra payments per year can cut about 11 years off Bank won't tell you this

@wtvrem13 Take the LIRR.

should i force my mom and my sister (terrified of public transit) to take the subway with me from midtown to the Mets game when we’re in New York in July?

@NateGchi But you need a hot dog and a beer.

Went to Wrigley today and didn’t spend a dime after my $20 dollar ticket. Brought in a plastic bag with two waters, sunflower seeds, and snacks. I feel oddly accomplished.

@andy_durban @buitengebieden It's fake.

@buitengebieden And why would someone have a camera pointed at their bed?? Incredibly ODD

When the dog thinks the pillow has taken over his spot.. 😅

@__apf__ I keep my phone in my purse when I’m not using it.

searching frantically for my phone in the dark at 4:30am. calling it didn't yield any noise. eventually I realized I must leave for my flight without it, and picked up my cat to say goodbye. the phone was under the cat and he's fat enough to muffle the sound