Caroline Gourlay

@philipmalone8 @LozMccarthy @g_gosden EVERY Wednesday?! Where is the decadent level of refuse collection?

@LozMccarthy @g_gosden Don't you know? He worked on the bins every Wednesday.....

Virtue signalling drivel.

@GerardChick @SoVeryBritish Pedantry would have been griping about it with no intention of ordering. I wanted Eggs Benedict, thank you very much.

A conversation I had with a waiter recently, about a cooked breakfast. “Excuse me, I’m sorry, I’ve just noticed my fried egg is missing” “Okay, so you’d like an extra egg?” “Yes, please. Well, actually, no, not an extra egg, just the missing egg” “Okay, so just one egg? Or two eggs?” “Just one egg… the missing egg” “It’s okay, we can do you an extra egg, no problem” Through gritted teeth: “Thank you” and then under my breath once they’d gone: “but it’s not an extra egg, it’s THE egg”

@halcrow1 @SoVeryBritish This wasn't just an item on the menu, it was a whole section. We fancied the eggs Benedict but no chance.

@CarolineGourlay @SoVeryBritish Yup, had that with an all day breakfast onky available before half past 11. Turns out it's available all day, as long as they have any left overseas from the morning

@SangitaMyska Have a listen to the Van Tulleken brothers today on BBC sounds talking about willpower or better ways to think about lack of willpower.

I absolutely hate exercising (unless it’s walking or dancing or gardening or yoga). How do I make myself love it? (Asking for a mid-life female friend who has been told she must undertake strength training and cardio)

@GerardChick Well I shall seek your views when there's a really juicy storyline then. I have high hopes for Rochelle.

OK, I get it! In RL, Tracy and Susan are the squabbling ‘ugly’ stepsisters. Lynda’s the fairy godmother. But who’s the pumpkin?? #TheArchers

@GerardChick Which year are you listening to?! And how long have you been listening? I've clocked up well over 2 decades, possibly nearly 3

@GerardChick @CarinthiaHart Not this week, you don't. Oh no you don't

@CarinthiaHart Do NOT give the scriptwriters ideas...

@CarolineGourlay He’s quite Cinders—shy, not given to partying, too angst-ridden to go to a ball… #TheArchers

@CarinthiaHart I don't know what Brad's done to deserve being dragged into this

@CarolineGourlay Possibly Brad in this gender-fluid universe. #TheArchers

@fesshole This was the basis of an ad for The Economist back in the day. Seemed completely wanky even then.

Headhunter here. You should know that we make big judgements based on which newspaper or magazine you pick up to read in our reception. And if you grab the Daily Star, we're never placing you anywhere.

@margaret_newson @RodneyMarshall1 I've got that tune stuck in my head now...

@RodneyMarshall1 I'm Dill the Dog, I'm a dog named Dill

Michael Bond: “One day in 1966 the phone rang. It was Doreen Stephens, the then Head of BBC Children’s Television. They were thinking of revamping Watch With Mother and did I have any ideas?” 1/

@The_East_End My friend's brother ruined my day in about 1973 by telling me the Donny Osmond covers on these records were sung by a girl. Devastating.

I’ve covered dodgy album covers before, but who remembers these beauties? Invariably sold by Woolworths, they always had a damsel with a fair bit of cleavage on show and covered popular tracks of the day - done by someone you’d never heard of…! #eastend #music

@WoollerEmma @thesundaysport @IrkthePurists Amazing!

@CarolineGourlay @thesundaysport @IrkthePurists I reasoned they must teach the classic cuts in hairdressing school.

Earlier today a work colleague, who I think is about 60, held aloft a large wad of cash and humorously exclaimed ‘Loadsamoney!’. The blank looks. The blank looks. I was the only one there who got it.

@thesundaysport @IrkthePurists Some years ago, I asked my hairdresser to make sure my hair didn't look "too flicky, too Farah Fawcett". My hairdresser is 25...

@IrkthePurists When the barber asked if I wanted my eyebrows trimmed, I made a Denis Healey reference. He looked at me like I was talking algebra.

@nirraizes @_alexbrogan Me too. And then I wondered what the old lady was going to do with all those bananas 🍌

@_alexbrogan I laughed, I cried... I cared 😁

Still trying to understand how a life insurance Ad can deliver one of the most important life lessons.

@TheJeditor Several sachets of liquid flower food, one of which has dried up and one is leaking.

Putting together a wedding gift. (Nice) starter junk-drawer. I’ve got: 1. Twist ties 2. Scissors 3. AA and AAA batteries 4. Chip clips 5. Ruler What else should I include?