Jackie Jormp-Jomp

whoever named the amoeba knocked it out of the park, that’s what that thing is

I hope this email doesn't find you I hope you've escaped That you're free

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo. “lmao" said Gandalf, “well it has.”

August flying by like 4 hoes in a Nissan

“can we reschedule?” YES GOD YES PLEASE YES

starting a new show sucks. who are these people

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman

Omg I can’t believe it, they actually changed the name on the maps

How the HELL has it been less than a month since the inauguration?? I swear it’s been 100 years!!!

why would i finish my thought when i could have a new, more exciting one

WHEN DID EVERYONES HEADLIGHTS GET SO BRIGHT

but babe that’s my emotional support lord of the rings extended edition

“new year, new me!” i say as i hit shuffle on my hozier playlist again

Hozier singing Fairytale of New York by The Pogues tonight on SNL

i went to the gay apparel store and they said you already donned everything