T.C.

@poe_collector They key is to eat the bagel while it is still in the wrapper. You'll also get some extra fiber this way.

HOW DO YOU EAT A BAGEL SANDWICH WITHOUT EVERYTHING SLIDING OUT IM BEING SO SERIOUS RIGHT NOW Don’t tell me to build it differently. I need a strategy to eat an already existing bagel sandwich. The trolley problem is real. People are dying. Someone help.

@KdeanGames @DefiantLs Well...he called it a skirt, so he ain't wearing a kilt by his own estimation.

@DefiantLs No, it's called a Kilt.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson: I wore a skirt to the Met Gala because “the most masculine men wear skirts”

@andrew_lilico @DefiantLs *gay Polynesian culture.

@DefiantLs That's a cool outfit, with a pleasing nod to Polynesian culture.

@ThePunnyWorld That isn't Nice

Did you know French fries weren’t actually first made in France? They were originally cooked in Greece.

@3YearLetterman @NBCNews True. They only run on oil (SAE 10W-30), but that went up in price, too, because both AutoZone and O'Reilly Auto Parts are based in the Middle East.

@NBCNews Planes don’t use gas so this should have nothing to do with it

Spirit Airlines says in court papers that it was forced to ground its fleet for good over the weekend because "recent geopolitical events resulted in a massive and sustained increase in fuel prices." nbcnews.com/business/trave…

@_trashiestpanda @OscarVReuenthal ...says the dude with "Hail Satan" in his bio. That sounds like something you'd be up to, Hoss. Is this a confession?

@OscarVReuenthal Retweeting a wife beater in the big 26?💀

Yes.

@shoveitjack As a Retriever, does he like getting in the water outside of bathing scenarios?

Someone was NOT happy about bath time today. I am clearly the worst dad IN THE WORLD!

@Vandrax2 @_middleEarth He was plagued by systemic Elf privilege while the Tom Bombadils of Middle Earth let it happen.

@_middleEarth The Balrog was traumatized by the Valar war crimes of the first age, lack of reparations and not responsible for his deeds, which, in any event, were clearly self-defense against noisy, vandalizing, threatening and racist ("Thou shall not pass, flame of Udûn!") trespassers.

Why did the Balrog in Moria confront Gandalf without hesitation, even if it realized they were both Maiar?

@Gunnerklein75 @catturd2 That's a whole different issue! (j/k!)😁

@catturd2 I could see my breath this morning!

It’s almost noon here and it’s been cool all day so far. This has been the mildest spring in a long time here in North Florida. It hasn’t been really hot even one day yet. Of course, if you draw a chart with scary dark red it looks like the state is on fire.

@markbland Most of Iran's top leadership is dead. You can bet the remaining leadership takes @realDonaldTrump very seriously.

The world will look back on this time period as the most CHILDISH PRESIDENCY that ever happened. No leader in the world takes this trash seriously. Especially not IRAN. LOL

@WilliamShatner Bill "Shatters" Star Wars fans with his Star Trek comparison.

Some people use the Force… 🤨 I prefer a well-timed toast and a five-year mission. 🥂 May the Fourth be with you… if you must but let’s be honest; I’ve been boldly going since before it was cool. 😉🚀

@0liviajulianna @SarahisCensored For someone who claims to love her father so much, you seem to have no problem throwing him under the bus and calling him a liar. Amazing.

I want to take a moment to clear a few things up and address you one last time, simply because I have nothing to hide. I’ve always spoken from what I believed to be true. I never intentionally misrepresented anything. That includes the campaign. When I said I wasn’t working on it, I wasn’t. I hadn’t even interviewed yet. The reality is that your “exposure” brought to light that I had been intentionally misled about matters involving my family, which I believe was tied to financial incentives to keep me supporting households beyond my own. Realizing that people you trusted misled you in ways that directly affect your livelihood is not just painful and embarrassing, it’s deeply personal. It’s also not something I ever intended to address publicly, out of respect for my parents and the children in my family who have nothing to do with this. At the end of the day, I know I’ve acted in good faith and told the truth as I understood it. God knows my intentions were pure and my heart was honest, and that’s what matters to me. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” You did not know that I was blind to those things when you posted them. You thought you were pursuing the truth. I just hope next time you dig into someone else’s personal life you do so without such a pessimistic and opportunistic heart. Anyone who has worked to break generational cycles and build a life beyond what they were conditioned to accept understands how difficult it is to confront the truth. It requires facing not only your own reality, but the weight of flawed family dynamics as you begin to move beyond them. I’m grateful to live in a country where your past doesn’t have to define your future, and my focus is on ensuring my children never have to carry the same burdens I did.

Hey Olivia, he didn’t do anything illegal. But remember that one time when I exposed you for claiming you grew up in a conservative home and that your dad voted for Cruz… even though I proved that he didn’t? Remember when you also tried to claim you were not paid for being on the Allred campaign? And I proved that you were? I came with receipts. Then you blocked me. Mind your business and work on yourself.

@0liviajulianna Just so we're clear, the left tries to shoot Trump and his supporters for disagreeing with them.

Just so we’re clear: a Trump administration is encouraging for democratic figures to be cussed out and slapped on TV for disagreeing with Trump. Whether it’s Jimmy Kimmel or New media figures- freedom of speech is under attack.

@AJamesMcCarthy @MarioNawfal @grok @nikitabier @X @elonmusk That's just wrong. You need to attribute it to yourself, first.

@MarioNawfal @grok @nikitabier @X @elonmusk What if I stole it from myself because I posted it to a different platform already

X is now using @Grok to detect original content uploaders @nikitabier just confirmed: we can instantly tell when you’re uploading stuff you stole from other platforms. No more clout-chasing reposts without credit. Original creators eating GOOD. @X, @elonmusk

@HollyBriden @grahamformaine ...and the girls were sent to play with the Easy Bake ovens.

@grahamformaine Laser tag at Auschwitz?

We first gathered on August 10th, 2025, nine days before we announced. I asked my mom to bring together "a few friends and family" to give them a heads up. She brought more than a few. I could never have imagined what would come next.

@AJamesMcCarthy He's trying to show you where the bad dog touched him.

I can’t take him serious right now, why is he grabbing his butt like this? 😂

@HollyBriden @PolitiBunny @HodgesKennon If Sammy Davis Jr. had transitioned to a weird white girl.

@PolitiBunny @HodgesKennon “Day 100 of Girlhood. Love ya!”

If cat pee had a face

@JFreerz The fact that you're still alive is miraculous.

*Saturday not Sunday

I got bit by a coral snake on Sunday. med flighted to the ER. Spent almost 3 days in the ICU & bout died lmfao. First pic is me holding it thinking it was a king snake. The rest are the affects. Still rocking nerve damage. But wild getting bit by the most venomous snake in the US

@forallcurious ...that nothing else survived.

If you could survive the fall into a black hole what do you think you’d actually find at the very center?

@CyberMAGA_Matt Taylor Lorenz is.

Are there still people wearing masks in 2026? 😅