BeckNasty™️

Ayyyyy

@mcmarge Look at the little kitty princess

Just saw a lady walking down my street drinking out of a flask and I respect her for that.

I hope everyone had a great day but most of all, I hope @trixiemattel had a great day

@ComEd You’re wrong. Selecting “0” did nothing; there was no representative.

@ChiBastard Hello, we're sorry for the delay. On the weekend, you'll need to select "0" until you are transferred to a representative to report an outage or downed line. Has this situation been addressed?

Hey @ComEd - this info in your app about representatives being available 24/7 is utter bs - I keep hearing “our offices are closed” when I call the emergency number. But if you’re not concerned about the wire laying in my yard, then I won’t be either 💅

@VerizonNews @VerizonSupport @Verizon Prepared for a hurricane but not for sunshine and clear skies…

@Verizon is ready for Hurricane Helene with 550 portable network assets and 1,000 mobile generators, ensuring communities, businesses and first responders stay connected. Verizon also has resources in place to support affected employees. Learn more: verizon.com/about/news/spe…

I killed a mosquito in my hotel room with a container of coffee last night and it’s the first time decaf has ever had a purpose in my life.

@two_mississippi JUST KIDDING I WOULD NEVER DRINK WHILE I WORK, GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL ASSIGNED TO MONITOR MY DATA, I PROMISE #checkthetimestamp

@two_mississippi Spicy lemonade is what I call the vodka drinks I have at the office

I believe the saying goes “don’t let your dick write a check that your wife’s boiling sugar water has to cash”

How far am I going to take the retaliation against the guy who has now stolen TWO packages off of my porch?

@Lovely_Linds 10% on rotten tomatoes for what that’s worth… And Mark McGrath is in it? I swear, I had to double-check that it existed because I thought maybe it was the rum. But it real.

@ChiBastard No I can’t believe it exists!

Did you guys know there’s a second Joe Dirt movie? Not sure I’ll sleep tonight after learning this.

@Lovely_Linds Have you watched it?!

@ChiBastard Excuse me

@VitoTweeted Great, now I’m definitely not sleeping!

@ChiBastard I will bet cash money that half the members of The Copyrights have seen it.

“You guys know I’m not high maintenance but if it’s raining tomorrow I’m taking a taxi or you can drag my corpse with you, but I will not walk in the fucking rain” - me to my work team

I just almost got run over by a granny smoking a cigarette in her car with the windows rolled up SO TIL that is a totally acceptable way to kill me.

I got a bonus on Friday and Cortezes are back so I bought myself 2 pairs 💸💸

@two_mississippi *hookers

The other day I stapled a whole ass art project to the table and I’m still laughing about it