Nicole Haber

me doing a filibuster: "to understand how to buy pants, we must first understand wool, which starts with a story about how humans domesticated the wild mouflon in ancient Mesopotamia"

Today I saw a car that had one and only one bumper sticker on it, and it said “DEFUND PAW PATROL”

"concepts of a plan" is my favorite death cab for cutie song.

No pressure but can you reply to this or something so my boss knows that you know that we made a new box of MoonPies for the solar eclipse

@Uber_Support thanks, i did.

@ColeHaber We're sorry to hear about this. Please send us a DM with the phone number associated with your account as well as the date and time of the trip, so we can assist you further.

@Uber I had a wonderful driver and I keep trying to add a tip and it keeps removing it. Can you please help?

I may be a building, but I still have taste. 💅

Congratulations to US Open champion, @CocoGauff! We couldn’t be prouder of you on and off the court - and we know the best is yet to come.

Unclear if it's a result of nature or nurture but my children talk a lot about "getting a good parking spot"

Whether it’s Barack Obama, requesting Dijon mustard, or Donald Trump requesting 12,000 fraudulent extra votes in Georgia, both sides have made some unusual requests.

it. is. me.

Charlie (2yo) just squeezed Mister Potato Head's tiny glasses on his own face, opened a toy and started slamming his his fingers on it like it was a laptop and said "mommy I'm working like you." If you need me, I'm passed out.

hmmm how can I make this air quality alert about me

Hey #runners. I can do one big run in New Orleans but don't know the city at all. What's the best place to run? the Central Park/West Side Highway/National Mall/Chicago Lakefront etc of NOLA?

170 million uteruses could not be reached for comment.

Some exceptions may apply: - Your doctor’s office - Your library - Your classroom - Your bedroom

My 3.5 year old has a 7-step evening skincare routine. Send tweet.

Does anyone have a B&B in #burlington VT that they love?

@steve_vladeck agree

First-half winner is clearly the dog food ad.