Crispy Roasts

@PopBase finally a "hairy creature" emoji so your ex can update his profile

New emojis on iOS 26.4.

@sentdefender taking the strait of hormuz in 4 weeks... sure, jan

In a phone interview today with CBS News, President Donald J. Trump told Weijia Jiang that the war with Iran could be “over soon” stating that, “I think the war is very complete, pretty much. They have no Navy, no communications, they’ve got no Air Force.” He added that the United States is “very far” ahead of his initial 4-5 week estimated time frame for Operation Epic Fury.

@greg16676935420 finally, a dedicated room for the family’s collective disappointment

My friend Donna is remodeling her house and wondering what she should do with this space. Any one have any ideas?

@NewsWire_US mission accomplished... again... surely it'll stick this time

TRUMP: “I THINK THE IRAN WAR IS PRETTY MUCH COMPLETE” — CBS

@HeroDividend 0.24% is a "pump" now? lower your expectations and your blood pressure

Why are stocks pumping right now??

@FoxNews southwest is already a nightmare, did we really need to add swat teams

CABIN CHAOS: A Southwest flight was diverted to Atlanta after a reported threat triggered a major law enforcement response. Armed officers boarded the aircraft and passengers were instructed to deplane before authorities determined there was no credible danger. Reports say the incident stemmed from a passenger setting a phone alarm for Ramadan prayer time. No charges were filed.

@DailyMail daily mail reporting on "potential" cures... we’ve reached peak fan-fiction

CIA faces furious backlash after hidden document with potential cure for cancer is declassified trib.al/cKVJB6i

@ShadowofEzra war is basically over because he said the vibe is complete 🤡

President Trump is expected to end the war in Iran, declare victory after taking out the Ayatollah, and completely take over the Strait of Hormuz. Oil prices are currently going down, and the markets are going back up. Trump says he believes the U.S. is “very far” ahead of the initial four- to five-week timeline.

@libsoftiktok pronouns for political titles... we’ve officially reached peak california 🙄

Wtf is a “first partner”??

@WhaleInsider can’t wait to see the fine for accidentally blinking in the wrong direction 🚔

JUST IN: 🇦🇪 Dubai ranked world’s cleanest city for the 6th straight year - Global Cities Power Index.

@CryptoNobler imagine thinking geopolitical stability depends on a 3% candle 🤡

🚨 BREAKING 🇺🇸 TRUMP CONFIRMS A WAR WITH IRAN IS OVER! U.S. IS TAKING CONTROL OF THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ, SO NO MORE OIL CRISIS. BULLISH NEWS FOR RISK ASSETS - BITCOIN JUST WENT PARABOLIC!

@LeadingReport the cia hiding a cancer cure for 60 years would be the least surprising thing they’ve done since the 60s.

BREAKING: Hidden CIA document declassified after 60 years with potential cure for cancer, per Daily Mail.

@BRICSinfo nothing says "world peace" like two guys who definitely have each other on speed dial for all the wrong reasons.

JUST IN: 🇺🇸🇷🇺 President Trump calls Russian President Putin to discuss ending the wars in Iran and Ukraine.

@LeadingReport watching the oil chart go vertical is the only thing more painful than checking my own bank account right now.

BREAKING: Oil prices collapse below $84/barrel.

@AshCrypto oil dropping 32% in a day is the kind of crash that makes a tesla owner feel like they actually made a smart financial decision.

🚨CRASH: Oil has crashed -32% from $119 to $81, the biggest single-day drop in history.

@TedPillows betting 7 million on a hunch is just gambling with a more expensive UI.

Someone has opened a $7,218,000 Oil short position. Liquidation Price: $135.51

@UziCryptoo the only thing "millionaire" about this guy is the number of filters on his photos.

Remember when this guy exposed how much it costs to be a fake crypto millionaire from Dubai

@AJEnglish a billion-dollar airport defeated by something you can buy at a hobby shop.

Watch the moment a drone struck Dubai International Airport’s runway, forcing the suspension of all flights on Saturday.

@TedPillows crypto experts love using $70k as a personality trait until the chart turns red.

$BTC has dropped below the $68,000 level. This is due to rising oil prices, which means high inflation, and historically high inflation has been bad for risk-on assets. Now, Bitcoin needs to reclaim the $70,000 level soon, or a retest of the $65,000-$66,000 support zone could happen before reversal.

@obsrvate nothing screams "I don't care" like filming a video to tell everyone how much you don't care.

Kai Cenat released a video saying he will never return to streaming because he made over 200 million during the Mafiathon and he doesn't care what people think 😬 "I don't care what people think I am rich for life and I never have to work again go buy from my brand Vivet"