Daniel Whitby MDANT

@anon_opin Barren Weatty

The way Carly Simon pronounces 'apricot' on You're So Vain annoys me even more than that we don't know for certain who it is about.

@memorialdevice Genius

Heard it? Was probably in the audience the first time it was played. An astonishing career of musical innovation and quality 🙏

On behalf of their client, Zara Sultana, Bindmans Media and Information Law Practise Group requires that I publish the following statement on X, and that such statement must be clearly visible and pinned to my profile for a continuous period of no less than 24 hours: “On 30 March 2026, I published a post on my X account addressed to Zarah Sultana in which I stated that she encourages and incites violence and is friends with terrorists. Those statements are false. I was wrong and offer my sincere apologies to Ms Sultana for the harm and distress caused to her.” It is my very great pleasure to do this, and I reiterate my sincere and repeated offer to meet with Miss Zara Sultana in person to resolve our differences.

BREAKING: Chris Mason’s future as BBC Political Editor in doubt… My source says “Chris Mason is a complete arse of a man. He steals all the hobknobs and treats the cameramen like shit. We can’t wait for him to go to GB News.” See how easy it is?

@PolitlcsUK @thetimes It's incredible how much we understated the impact of Harry Hill on the uk political system

🚨 BREAKING: Keir Starmer has told allies that he will fight Wes Streeting if he triggers a leadership contest [@thetimes]

@ratemyplatenow OOOOOF

My homemade mince and onion pie… and yes I made the pastry too by Chris T

@tfadell Really annoying thing is having an ipod but can't load any music etc onto it now as its obsolete

Spotted in the NYC subway. “Zero screen time.” An iPod Shuffle ad in 2026. When we built the iPod, the goal was the technology disappeared and you could have your music wherever you were. 1,000 songs in your pocket. Now we’re living through a moment where people are actively looking for ways to disconnect from the infinite feed, algos, and constant notifications. That doesn’t mean technology is bad. It means the best technology understands when to step back. Not every problem needs another screen, another menu, or another layer of complexity. Constraints create freedom (read: @DavidEpstein new book Inside the Box). And often removing features creates a better product than adding them. The future of technology shouldn’t just be more engagement. It should help us be more human.

@ratemyplatenow I've just had me tea but I would eat that right now

Ham, egg & chips by Luke C

@PaulHeatonSolo @Overourwall And so cardigan pop was born , lovely album

40 years ago today- my very first recorded album- London 0 Hull 4 was finished and here in the diary I wrote a rough idea for the track order

@idlewildgirl Like leaving a cinema during the day

I always feel like a proper goblin when I have to shut the curtains so I can see the telly properly in the sun

@LeahRebeccaUK @Mattisamazing33 The first rule of old cleaner club...

@Mattisamazing33 What happened to the old cleaner?

New cleaner starts tomorrow. Do I hoover tonight?

@SalvadorDafti @FatOldAnarchist Love blue flowers

Dr Octagon - Dr Octagonecologyst My album of the day. Ingenious stuff from Keith, the Bronx’s oddball genius. If the thoughts of an extraterrestrial gynaecologist from the year 3000 is your thing, then this is the album for you. 1996. 🎧 Blue Flowers.

@silme47 @daveainsworth63 He's doing it for fun too

At 43, James Anderson is out here humiliating batters on dead flat pitches, 27 wickets with stunning 2.8 economy, and an unreal average of just 14, standing as the 2nd highest wicket-taker in the County Championship.

@lewisa95 @dank_ackroyd Klarna police

May I ask how you could afford this did you pay in instalments

@WG_RumblePants @IS_Netwrk29 Is that not a Stuart surridge bat?

@IS_Netwrk29 I genuinely had no idea that MRF stands for Madras Rubber Factory.

🚨 NEW BAT SPONSER OF VAIBHAV SURYAVANSHI 🚨 - Vaibhav Suryavanshi was now sponsored by SS (Sareen Sports) for his bat. But according to sources, one of the most popular brands, MRF (Madras Rubber Factory), is now set to sponsor his bat. This is truly a very big deal for Vaibhav Suryavanshi. 🤯

@SartorialThug Great pic's past week there has been some sort of greenfinch v Robin aggro in the garden hope it settles down soon

Morning all. Do you want to see my Robin? Stupid question. Of course you do. *It's 'mine' because it is in my garden. That's how it works.

Not many people know this but the symbol on Nottingham Forest's badge is an outline of Martin O'Neil's hair from when he played there. Its often mistaken for a tree 🙄 #NottinghamForestFACTS @moneill31

@Mr_ian_B Does this have gravy on it?

Filthy boy

@BigBoyler Lincolnshire sausages

Hello British Transport Police? I’ve seen something that doesn’t look right