Deeter 🦧

the libertarianism leaving my body when the gas station starts playing video ads

HowlingMutant logging off

this is going to be like dropping a grey wolf into a petting zoo.

"To get your oil, you must answer my riddles three." 🗨️🧌

Civilization was built by people like this, and there is a stunning lack of gratitude in our culture for their work. In this specific case, at least half of the apple varieties in Brown’s collection were considered “lost” until he personally tracked them down and saved them. He literally went on quests where he did things like, tracking a lost variety back to a stump of a long-ago-cut-down tree near an abandoned homestead in remote Appalachia, took cuttings from the green shoots coming out of the stump, brought them back and planted them. Absolute legend.

VCs love posting 1950s America aura edits and then lead a $10B round into a gambling app

Broken windows policing, but it's denying any permit for a "vape shop."

me: tell me where you want to eat gf: *spitting blood* fuck you

Update: a federal judge has ordered Artemis to return to Earth immediately

Moonifest Destiny.

We're going back to the fucking moon, that's why.

*Me, hydroplaning across four lanes of traffic* my 3 yr old screaming: MOM I SAID WHAT DO PARROTS EAT

@geezy101_ @LeahRain77 x.com/oracleofeuropa…

@LeahRain77 Why is it always a woman judge who is SUPER SOFT on crime?

This man lost his two year-old child and the two-year-old child’s grandparents because of a careless driver. The driver was only sentenced to 120 days community service. What would your reaction to this judge have been?

FUCKED UP JOKE but I can't say I wouldn't do it

@allenf32 I just wanted wanted to see this poster one more time

sadly the facebook event can no longer be accessed but I saved some of the campaign material:

STORY TIME 📢 when I was in uni, we had elections every year for a bunch of positions within the students' union. a handful actually meant something and iirc came with modest salaries as it was assumed if you won, it would actually be your job for the year after you graduate. but most were just LARPs that 2nd or 3rd years would do (or not do as the case may have been). not to dox myself too precisely but you can imagine the rough time period I'm talking about by making two observations key to what follows: first, it all ran over facebook. "campaigns" for real and silly positions alike were facebook "events" with the date on election day and people "attending" as a signaling mechanism and commenting as a debate forum. second, the great awokening had stirred but not exploded yet. per this second point, you had a handful of grievance non-positions for whichever group could argue loudly enough that they were oppressed that year - a list which only ever grew because oppression only ever gets worse. and of course there was an "environment" officer to do things like scream at halls staff about global warming until they offered more recycling options. and as a subset of this second point, there was this weird fetish around the word "access" that certainly doesn't exist any longer and I vaguely recall only being a thing for a year or two. I emphasize "word" because, as with many shitlib shibboleths, nobody quite knew or could articulate what this word actually *meant* but everybody was very sure it meant something Very Important And Serious™. so good reactionary troll that I was and still am, one year I decided to run a campaign for a made-up position combining all these proto-woke fads into one proto-woke megazord of a fake union position: I ran for the office of Environmental Access for Minorities. I "ran" in the sense that I made a facebook event and "campaigned". in hindsight, my campaigning consisted of absolutely relentless shitposting, certainly before I knew that term existed and possibly before it was coined. I shitposted so hard, so passionately, and so professionally that this facebook group got more attention than virtually every real campaign being run at the time. more attendees, more engagement, certainly more lols. I of course "won" this position, but my victory was not recognized by the university, so I then pretended to be upset about this for a while too, posting things like "the people have spoken, demand environmental access for minorities today" to milk it for as long as I could. I hate to have to explain the joke but basically I figured that "environmental access for minorities" is transparently meaningless shitlib drivel. it's just slamming together words they like without any attempt to explain what the combination means or how it could even in principle mean anything. part of the shitposting relied on leaning into this: "do I mean that minorities can't access the environment? do I mean that nobody can access the environment but this hits minorities hardest? vote for allen and we'll figure it out together!" anyway, ~15 years later and now this is being argued completely unironically in public by the director of the national trust. the end.

correspondent on cnn portugal: these missiles can't reach portugal but *faint smile* they CAN reach spain

Telling my kids this was MLK

It's Friday. Go outside.

He found it