Devdeve

@witchwounds @HobbitMaxC

that one friend who needs to be killed for the greater good

To the untrained eye I may appear retarded

fuck you

I was under the impression that this happened in the 1700s.

How those first few minutes of the morning hit before you inevitably have to open a Microsoft application

the other day I overheard my apprentice ask, can a wizard borrow a spell slot? and my first thought wasn’t “oh my god, he’s calling himself a wizard”, it was now how is a wizard gonna borrow a slot - wizard, is you gonna give it back?

the first halfling i see after finding a scroll of scorching ray

Americans after finding that a group of fish is called 'school'

mein arzt nach der prostata untersuchung weil ich so unglaublich #tight bin

If I was Harry Potter I would have microwaved Dobby out of curiosity

saying retard feels so much better when you dont have some retard pretending its a slur

i need to kill myself fucking immediately man holy shit

i bet these ones are actually good for you, look how stoked that horse is

Babe wake up a new women can’t drive chart just dropped

The bartender sells me their poison (12 beers) and denies me their cure (a 13th beer)

we all have that one homie who we lowkey want to hunt and kill for sport

grass was mid today

Stop complaining about not having a valentine on Valentine’s Day. Some people aren’t Chinese on Chinese New Year.

me greeting you in chinese in the year of the horse: neigh hao