Mitya

Nobody wants to represent me in court for my many crimes. They weren't that bad, just embarrassing. Nobody wants to be head counsel for "the Juggalo Bandit". Still holding out hope though. Wicked clowns never die, but I've heard we don't do well in prison.

@PillSquad Not everything has to be some kind of joke

@Discollaborator This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read.

The store? The place where I'm constantly vilified and publicly humiliated just for being my charmingly roguish self? No, I refuse. If that's where groceries come from, I'll stick to Chili's. At least there they know how to treat a person with some dignity.

You were right for all the wrong reasons, whereas I was wrong for all the right ones. So I guess that means I'm still the smart one, and you're still the big dumb idiot. Go figure.

@TheWifePleaser Didn't really have time to experiment with those before things started going south

@Discollaborator what about other dimensions?

Found an enchanted sword, hidden away in an ancient temple. It's so sharp, it can cut through even the thickest armor with but a touch. And also, apparently, right through its scabbard. And then the ground beneath it. It's currently tunneling it's way through the earth.

@SleepyFaaris Well you're in luck, cause if I get barked at one more time they're gonna have an opening

@Discollaborator Fuck I should join the blood wolves

When I joined up with the Blood Wolves I thought it was just a tough sounding brigand name. Now, two weeks in, "Pack Master" Hirolt has us all "familiarizing each other's scents" so we can "better coordinate" on raids. And he keeps calling me "pup". I should have become a pirate.

@MythoSchizoid I never approved that. They never even asked me for permission.

@Discollaborator There was a Voyager episode about this

I have a disease that makes me be born old and age backwards to a baby and they call it Mitya disease because only I've ever had it

@Killing_Vanilla It's a cool disease and everyone thinks so

@Discollaborator Sorry that your disease kinda sucks ngl ... My disease is actually kinda flarkin awesome

@CussTick In the eyes of those who cruelly persecute me every day? Assuredly. In the eyes of God? I don't know, I haven't heard back on that yet.

@Discollaborator Were you thinking something evil?

The nice lady at my gate looked me up and down and then cancelled my flight on the spot. Everyone else had already boarded. They made them all get off. Said "weather had happened to plane". I asked what kind of weather. They told me to shut up. My new flight is in six weeks.

No, sir, I will not watch your bag. You have the eyes of a bandit.

@pukenukem3 Yeah. And then they spit on me and called me a "lowly beast of the fields" and told me to go back to turning up the earth instead of daring to dream of the heavens.

@Discollaborator What???

@realchrisarcher Rude

@Discollaborator Correct

I regret to inform you all that I died in the attacks. They got me. It's "lights out" for South Dakota's third favorite son. Unless... No, it's too outlandish. Well, maybe if the people of the world united their hearts in song, I could pull through. But that would never happen...

@videosaint123 No, I'm Mitya

@Discollaborator Are you Truman?

@Creature_Scribe It's completely unexplored territory. Lots of room for experimentation.

@Discollaborator If all the world united their hearts and hummed an evil tune could that potentially bring back Mitya but evil? Much to think about

@reineyweather You have a strange and uncomfortable relationship with planes

@Discollaborator fuck dude im sorry i didnt mean it :( ill choose a different plane next time I promise

@FuneralSnackBar Worse

I'm very sorry I puked on your rug. I was overcome with the immensity of being.