Magdalen Dobson

Literally just having a delusional golden retriever mindset measurably changes outcomes and physiology. Sleep badly? Convince yourself you're well rested. Stressful day? Convince yourself it's fuel. Failed? Convince yourself it's useful data.

My mom stayed over last night. I keep trying to explain the 4 month sleep regression, but she says she doesn’t remember that and if baby keeps waking up and crying we should take her to the doctor. I am going to lose my mind

A long, self congratulatory victory lap claiming that extreme optimisation creates a nearly perfect pregnancy. Sounds compelling but is biologically inaccurate? Not really, no. Good outcomes in anything are not mostly effort based. Biology doesn't work that way, including in pregnancy. Genetics dominate the nausea baseline, while the other levers give incremental gains. Morning sicknes is mainly driven by GDF15, a hormone pumped out by the fetus and placenta. How bad it gets is largely set by the mother’s genes, specifically how sensitive she naturally is to that hormone surge. Twin studies show it’s roughly 70% heritable, and the latest huge genetic study confirms GDF15 as the biggest factor in morning sickness, with the baby’s genes mattering too. The “wriggle room” for what you and your partner can actually do via diet is extremely limited. Its far more like that Andrea just had a better baseline if a bit of protein helped her to not chunder. Mechanistically, it makes sense that steady blood glucose can blunt amplifying factors like cortisol spikes. But this vastly underplays the primary driver: maternal genetics interacting with fetal/placental biology. Vittorio proudly lists everything they “did right”: protein-first rituals, choline rich eggs, StairMaster sessions, six dates a day, perineal massage, ironclad sleep, delayed cord clamping. Yet the data show each of those levers sits atop a hidden genetic script that largely sets how easy or difficult pregnancy and labour will be. Twin and family studies consistently estimate that 30–40 % of the variation in gestational length (and preterm birth risk) is genetic, with the majority coming from the mother’s genome; the largest maternal GWAS to date (195,555 women) found SNP heritability around 17 % and identified 22 loci enriched in genes expressed during labour in the myometrium. Pelvic architecture, which directly influences labour mechanics, risk of obstruction, and perineal tears, is highly heritable (32–48 % from recent UK Biobank data on 31,000+ scans) with a 2025 GWAS identifying 180 independent loci linked to pelvic proportions, birth canal width, and related outcomes like pelvic-floor disorders or osteoarthritis. Collagen strength, critical for cervical ripening, membrane integrity, and resistance to tears, is shaped by variants in genes such as COL1A1, COL3A1, and COL5A1; fetal inheritance of mutations in these pathways markedly raises the risk of preterm premature rupture of membranes and cervical insufficiency. Oxytocin signalling, which drives contractions and labour progression, is modulated by common OXTR receptor variants that alter receptor expression, desensitisation, and oxytocin dose requirements; these same variants correlate with longer labour duration and higher caesarean risk in clinical studies. It's a disappointing article. I am not knocking a loving partner’s fierce dedication. I have one of my own. Thank goodness for those people. But what is fundamentally missing is the cold, data backed reality that pregnancy outcomes are not a merit badge for conscientious effort. This is what truly vexes me. The high conscientious mind’s one quiet flaw. It is not “deranged” enough to stare at the truth. It must have control. It must have order. It cannot bear the thought that biology already wrote the script. For many reasons, I am apparently deranged. Deranged enough to see that my biology and my health carried a blueprint long before any bedtime yogurt or protein first ritual. How violently my body responds to a baby is largely decided by my genes and the child’s. A bit of yoghurt will do almost nothing against that ancient link. The biggest forces were never ours to rewrite. At least not yet. Soon though. The optimisers simply drew a kinder blueprint, then told themselves their discipline conquered nature. Thats a fib. A self delusion. I find this frustrating and very unsatisfying.

Did not realize that paid maternity leave in some blue states now stacked up so well against other countries known for more generous social welfare.