Brendan

This site can really be soul crushing.

A grammar book walks into a bar * An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars. * A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly. * A bar was walked into by the passive voice. * An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening. * Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.” * A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intents and purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite. * Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything. * A question mark walks into a bar? * A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly. * Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type." * A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud. * A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves. * Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart. * A synonym strolls into a tavern. * At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack. * A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment. * Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor. * A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered. * An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel. * The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known. * A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph. * The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense. * A dyslexic walks into a bra. * A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines. * A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert. * A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget. * A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony . – Jill Thomas Doyle

Morocco U.S. Brazil (or Ivory Coast) Argentina (or Cabo Verde)

@sotheysay3 @_DAVgames @archer_rs Is it normal for the top soccer players to bounce around so much? (Asking because I don't follow club teams.)

@_DAVgames @archer_rs Dave, answer this- does an ‘ Average ‘ player, play for- Man U Real Madrid AC Milan PSG. So STFU you dick.

People are often critical of Victoria Beckham but to see this outpouring of emotion here from her as England scores a goal shows her deep connection with both football and the team.

@JohnMolinaro No. The argument is that dives should be called or not called consistently. Kane and Mbappe get away with it, but not somebody who has less clout.

So, a player shouldn’t get a yellow card for an egregious dive when he is already on a caution? Is that really the argument being put forth? What else are we letting players on a yellow to get away with?

@martynziegler It's a good thing if they earned it. It's not a good thing if they got calls other teams didn't get. The #1 seeds in March Madness have easier paths to the Final Four than other teams, but we don't expect the refs to throw games for them.

The four countries kept apart by FIFA's new seeding system - Argentina, England, France and Spain - have all made the World Cup semi-finals. Is this a good thing?

@PlasticChairDis @Shadow_ofaDoubt The Hardy Boys were high 100s to low 200s. Seems like Goosebumps books were low 100s. What are you smoking?

These kids weren't raised on The Hardy Boys and Goosebumps like the rest of us were 😔

I don't know if this is just a generational gap thing, or just a tard-normie gap thing, But when I was growing up we referred to these as "chapter books" and most people started reading the ones designed for children before they hit 10 years old. You would be put into tutoring or special ed if you couldn't. The first Harry Potter book, was 300+ pages, written for and mainly read by 11 year old.

@Shadow_ofaDoubt It wasn't though. It was 223 and had illustrations.

@stuholden The controversy is that the rule isn't applied consistently. Kane dives - no call. Mbappe dives - no call. But a guy with less name recognition - it gets called.

I have no problem with this outcome. Embolo embellished with the intent of getting another player booked. It’s a yellow card for simulation — not sure what the controversy is here? Don’t dive

@RachelXReads I wear the proof of my reading habit every day. Since 5th grade. Carry on with your negative assumptions and condescending attitude though.

I'm tired of complacency, mediocrity, and defeatism. I'm tired of the idea that, because we have to "work for the man" forty hours a week, we're entitled to spend the other 128 scrolling and sleeping. And because we are too tired to do anything but scroll, we then let our children scroll... and scroll. Why do we delight in shutting off our minds? Why do we feel we have to protect ourselves from the effort of personal growth? Does no one remember the thrill of a good book? Maybe our children wouldn't find reading so hard if we didn't tell them with both our words and our own bad habits that it is. I grew up reading. So will my children. I set up mandatory reading time for them when they were first learning to sound out words, and now I can't get them to put books down. I limit their screen time. I limit my own screen time. We take walks. We play board games. We laugh. The human spirit is capable of so much. We all need to return to enjoying our humanity before we forget what that even means.

@LuciaLobosvilla Muting this convo, because I can't respond to everybody, and people are just piling on. I might issue a general comment tomorrow.

Yes. I read it as a child. Because it’s a children’s book. We keep lowering standards for children’s media and then wonder why kids can’t read or grasp complex concepts. Running into words you don’t know is part of the learning experience. Not an insurmountable obstacle.

@Pingosaurus I was an avid reader as a child. In a 2-person reading group one year because we were way ahead of the rest of the class. Needed glasses by 5th grade. My initial disbelief may have been misplaced, but obviously the people responding to my post are serious readers. Not the norm.

I grew up in the 70s. Both my parents worked - they had to, we had fuck all money. My mum went back to teaching six weeks after I was born. The one thing they were pathological about was reading to me. No matter how tired they were they read to me. It’s how you build readers.

@Narwitz0747 People like you who seem to be making assumptions about me are def telling on yourselves.

Some of ya'll have really funny ways of telling on yourself.

@JamesSurowiecki Do you have a point to make? I'm stupid? Illiterate? A series is the same as a single book? Children's attention spans aren't shorter than adults? A small minority of hard-core readers is the same as a norm? Pick one. I'm done being nice to people who disrespect me in return.

Come on, man.

@firelordaimee 🙄

everyday we become more doomed as a society

@SketchesbyBoze You're definitely capable of being a condescending douche.

This may shock you, but some of us - I daresay many of us - are actually capable of doing things.

@ReichlinMelnick I looked up several popular children's books. None of them were even close to 300. *For a reason.*

I was reading multiple 300 page books a week by fourth or fifth grade. My teachers used to yell at me for reading in class, because I’d sneak a paperback under my desk and read pulp sci-fi/fantasy rather than paying attention to the lesson.

@TinyWriterLaura I like how you just ignore the fact that children have shorter attention spans than adults.

it is terrifying to me that this seems unreasonable or unlikely to anyone i read the lotr trilogy as a collected edition 1000+ page book when i was 8. you just read for longer than if you were reading a shorter book it isn’t that wild

@KostivalonBase This season's Harrison Bader.

Since being acquired by the Phillies, Derek Hill has hit .356 with a .600 slugging %. He's been worth 1.1 WAR according to Baseball Reference. Coming into 2026, he had accumulated 1 bWAR over 6 seasons.

@achillghost I think this gets into attention span, which children have less of than adults. Looked up several popular children's books: none of them were even close to 300 pages.

Reading long books is the same as reading short books except that you do it for longer

@ManagerTactical No. When the whole team (other than Tillman) plays like crap, after previously playing well, it's a coaching problem. I also want an American coach who cares about the U.S., not a foreigner who only cares about his career.

Would you keep Mauricio Pochettino as the USMNT 🇺🇸 head coach? If yes, why? If no, also why?