Coffee McCoffee Face

America : "We're invading Greenland. We're specially trained in cold weather activities." Also America ...

@fesshole I had to make good on a threat to bear crush my 14yr old “until he popped”. Midway through the tickling/crushing phase he actually tensed / expanded back against me. My shoulder made the loudest popping noise as it dislocated.

Had to cancel my 5s game and posted in the chat to say I was injured. That's true. Didn't say how. Truth is I pulled a muscle in my neck quite badly whilst air-drumming. I'm 53.

@MilitaryBanter It’s an easy job to learn, you pick it up as you go along.

@SophiaTassew Definitely not a pawper…

What’s happening? Well, I’ll tell you what isn’t happening - Alexa stopping, that’s what’s not happening. Completely ignoring the command: #alexastop

@DaneyCasey @fasc1nate Considering the amount of dissatisfied youth working in fast food joints, they could ALL be doing it - we only know about this one kid, could be just the tip of the iceberg…

Well, it turns out the guy who pulled the lettuce stunt had a pretty short-lived career in the fast-food world. Not only did he get fired promptly, but the incident also became a cautionary tale about the power of internet detectives. So, after the breakfast shift manager identified the lettuce offender, the guy was given the boot. But the story didn't end there. The incident sparked discussions about the consequences of online vigilantism and how quickly the internet can turn into a detective agency. It's a reminder that your actions can go viral in no time, especially if you mess with someone's fast food.

In 2012, a Burger King employee anonymously posted an image on 4-chan of him putting his feet in lettuce, with the caption: "This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King." It took 20 minutes for people to track down the branch the employee worked at and contact the news. The next morning, Cleveland Scene Magazine contacted the Burger King establishment and talked to the breakfast shift manager, who, upon seeing the offending photo, said, "Oh, I know who that is. He's getting fired."

@KillerKlown667 @grumpymunster @RiflesRegiment No straight lines in nature…

Like millions of others we have been watching the documentary ‘Soldier’ on the BBC. This five-part series charts the recruits’ journey through the British Army’s Infantry Training Centre in Catterick, North Yorkshire.

@fesshole Meanwhile:

My partner has now been with me longer than he was with his ex-wife. I've been looking forward to this day for a long time and I'm very happy.

@fesshole If I recall correctly, no one has ever received an insulting or rude email from me…

People in work think I am so very polite and upbeat, but all I do it click on the middle suggested response on Outlook, which is usually, "Great, thanks for the update!"

@MilitaryBanter @lochybrown

@lochybrown sorry thats pulling off OF not OR will correct thanks!

need a beasting - first phase testing - please select your rank / level and see if the results spat out are correct (before a wider spread) abmasudweb.com/myprojects/F68…

@GunnyHighway6 “Cancels leave application for the day…. Continues with day off as planned…”

When your laptop is working fine but there's a major ModNet incident so you go to play golf anyway

@Posted_to_BAOR Lt ‘X’ often confuses Substance with Style, of which he has neither.

Best insult you’ve heard? I’ll start. You’ve got the organisational ability of a handcuffed crab.

@JayRochester_ @MilitaryBanter @Army_Leadership

@MilitaryBanter @Army_Leadership Funny thing is, @MilitaryBanter even mispelled the mispelled word in his own hashtag. 🤣🤦🏻‍♂️

Hey @Army_Leadership #leaderhisp

@SpecCoffeeHouse Why have you pixelated the language of her board……

'If people are not allowed to quietly protest against the proclamation of a king, then clearly our country is not as free as we thought. Declaring a king is a political act – citizens ought to have every right to dissent.' ✍️ Brendan O'Neill spectator.co.uk/article/shame-…

@Sandeshgulhane @TomTugendhat @ukhomeoffice Better get your dictionary or encyclopaedia out

@TomTugendhat @ukhomeoffice Better get your stationary out

@patsharp I don’t know how you or the twins arrived in my timeline, but thank you twitter for making it so, and thank you FunHouse team for contributing to my awesome childhood - it was a whole lot of fun!!!

FunHouse twins alert 👯‍♀️

@combat_boot Both of those statements can be true at the same time, just by reducing the number of people required :(

MOD: Army met 98% of recruitment target for regular soldiers & 100% of target for regular officers last year Daily Mail: Army cuts & recruitment crash 'have left the UK unable to tackle crises' 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1…

@MilitaryBanter You’re just peeved off because, despite only being a cadet, they’re still better than yours…

At a wedding today, sat next to people I don’t know. What do you do? “I’m an army officer” few hours later find out he’s a Cadet but still spinning dits

@MilitaryBanter Yes. Nice chap in my village was good mates in school with a big bloke who joined the Army, called Glenn. I didn’t have the heart to tell him…

When speaking to someone you don’t really know and they ask the “do you know xyz he’s in the army as well” has anyone ever actually known the person?

@uScan_App That’s amazing, it even recognises a thumb, removes it, and predicts what was underneath the thumb….. 🧐 bunch of arse. Misrepresenting advert.

Install App And Transform Your Phone Into Portable Scanner 🖨️📲📄📲📑📲🖨️📲📄