Simon Gordon

My latest cartoon for @guardian books #manosphere

@SW_Help can I take a taxi to Guildford from Waterloo? Been waiting a long time

@SW_Help found in 5.50 from Guildford to Waterloo. Will hand to guard

the 80’s.

@SW_Help Waterloo

@Feehary Hi, can I ask where you are travelling from to Guildford? MC

@SW_Help So I can book a hotel and you’ll pay for that? What exactly do you expect me to do?

@Feehary Hello, unfortunately we don't have taxi claim back in place currently. ^GG

24 lessons from David Ogilvy: 1. Search all the parks in all your cities; you'll find no statues of committees. 2. The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. 3. You are advertising to a moving parade, not a standing army. 4. Do not address your readers as though they were gathered together in a stadium. When people read your copy, they are alone. 5. Remember you are a human being writing to another human being. Neither of you is an institution 6. Tell your prospective client your weakness before they notice them. This will make you more credible when you boast about your strong points. 7. Avoiding excess in all things is a recipe for dullness and mediocrity. 8. A good advertisement is one which sells the product without drawing attention to itself. 9. There is no need for advertisements to look like advertisements. If you make them look like editorial pages, you will attract about 50% more readers 10. Big ideas come from the unconscious. This is true in art, in science, and in advertising. But your unconscious has to be well-informed, or your idea will be irrelevant 11. People who think well, write well 12. The most important word in the vocabulary of advertising is 'test'. 13. On average, five times as many people read the headline as read the body copy. 14. When you have written your headline, you have spent eighty cents out of your dollar. 15. Tell the truth, but make the truth fascinating 16. Advertising is only evil when it advertises evil things. 17. Advertising people who ignore research are as dangerous as generals who ignore decodes of enemy signals. 18. Raise your sights. Blaze new trails. Compete with the immortals. 19. I am a lousy copywriter, but I am a good editor. So I go to work editing my own draft. 20. If you're trying to persuade people to buy something, use the language in which they think. 21. Insist that due dates are kept even if it means working all night. Hard work never killed a man. People die of boredom 22. If you are lucky enough to write a good advertisement, repeat it until it stops selling. 23. At the start of your career in advertising, what you learn is more important than what you earn. 24. When Fortune published an article about me and titled it: 'Is David Ogilvy a Genius?', "I asked my lawyer to sue the editor for the question mark.”

Arguably the best cover of ‘Thunderstruck’ ever recorded.

For Jim Moir/Vic Reeves' birthday, a reminder it's thirty years this year since this advert.

when you forget which one you poisoned

@GazSmith_Chef Hope the hangover this morning is the right side of bearable… Made the chicken wing gravy to go with the big bird; was up against another family member’s contribution. No contest… 🥇

Have a great one Love yis ! Take the day as it comes Take a money to smell the roses Raise a glass to someone you love. Raise another to someone you miss And raise one to yourself You deserve it You’re a good bunch of eggs and I genuinely appreciate you on here Cheers🍻 Gaz

This is what Christmas Eve is all about.🎅🏻🎄🎁 #CalvinandHobbes #Christmas

For no reason at all Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly shot-for-shot recreated David Bowie and Bing Crosby's "Little Drummer Boy" duet 😂 wait for the end

Published in the Irish Times six years ago. I always think of this letter at this time of year. So moving.

Carl Reiner gave Rob Reiner a copy of The Princess Bride, and Rob Reiner loved it and its father/son love story so much he turned it into a movie (with a grandfather and grandson). Three days before Carl’s death in 2020, he and Rob reenacted the final scene and “As you wish”

Earlier today, I had my back to my wife when I heard her say, “Do you want to keep this box?” I froze. Keeping my back turned, I carefully replied, “Please don’t show me the box. I’ll immediately form an emotional attachment to it. Just put it in the bin. Don’t let me see it.” We narrowly missed adding another box to my special box collection in the garage. But I’m sitting here now, thinking, “I wonder what kind of box it was. I wonder what it might have been useful for.”

@SW_Help Why put trains on the board when there is no driver??? It is a massive waste of time and means people miss other trains they could have got on. Where is the driver for the train on platform 12???

How different beings react to thunder!

@firstadopter At the risk of being a pedant, it says ‘as a preferred… partner’ not ‘the’. It may well say something else at some other point, but that’s not what you’ve quoted here….

Key line in the Nvidia/OpenAI $100 billion investment press release: "OpenAI will work with NVIDIA as a preferred strategic compute and networking partner for its AI factory growth plans." Nvidia is the main partner - not Broadcom.