Mr Sensible

@kelvmackenzie My wife has a black belt in cooking...

“I’m not saying my wife’s a bad cook but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.” Unbelievably it was that kind of gag by Bob Monkhouse that led to an episode of BBC’s The Repair Shop being pulled after a TV production employee took offence to an alleged “ sexist” joke. The hardback archives of Monkhouse’s handwritten joke books, dating back to 1960s, were bought in for repair by the comic’s adopted daughter and his old writing partner. In a tribute to the comic, who died in 2003, footage of the restoration was due to be aired this year. But the BBC axed the segment after a member of the production company Ricochet complained about one of the gags. I would like to know the identity of that employee. He or she has robbed many of us of a decent bit of television. Rare enough on the BBC I couldn’t give a toss if they were upset about the gag. Monkhouse will have bought a damned sight more pleasures to the world than this employee ever will.

@jakeshieldsajj 1. They don't. 2 you're an antisemitic twat. Thank you.

Why do jews have special ambulances just for them?

@FfaceVonFstick Ding dong the WITCH is dead!

Which song should I listen to immediately after getting the news that the Flatulent Fuhrer has died & gone to the Trump Tower in Hell? A. Beautiful Day by U2 B. Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen C. Celebrate by Kool & the Gang D. I Gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas

@BuzzPatterson Well you didn't get that Cletus.

I didn’t vote for a “nice” president. I voted for an “effective” president.

@GnassJr @JoshuaBarzon Or.... he kept on looking. Sigh

@JoshuaBarzon That’s great ! You gave credit where credit was due !

My wallet has been lost for days. I’ve legit searched everywhere. I have been super stressed about it. I stopped today and prayed that God would help me find it. I found it literally 30 seconds later. Praise God.

@PepperMoirraine @JoshuaBarzon Unless you are an amputee. God obviously hates amputees. You complete and utter chuff nugget.

@JoshuaBarzon People who believe...

@TheresaArueyin1 Could i take the A322 instead.

When I say Jesus is the only way to Heaven what would you say?

@HonestarsenalF Pigs in blankets

I went to my uncle’s pig farm today, but I didn’t meet him. So I decided to walk around the farm. I was surprised to see some pigs ‘naked’ like that, and then in another section, I saw some pigs wearing jackets. I’m confused…what’s going on? Why are some in jackets while others are not?

@FoxNews I don't care, do you?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Barron Trump, the son of President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump, turns 20 today.

@paul_jkrause Tau Zero. Cracking read.

What is the best sci-fi novel you've read? There are many good ones. Great ones. Not just because he recently passed away, but Hyperion by Dan Simmons has to be up there for everyone who has read it...

@ironchimp @paul_jkrause Way station is excellent.

@paul_jkrause Time Enough for Love UBIK Childhoods End Enders Game / Enders Shadow Day of the Triffids Way Station The Drawing of the Three

@paul_jkrause The Mote in God's eye and the Gripping Hand sequel. I also love Eon by greg bear

@taipan168 I had a mark 1 RS ltd mx5. I LOVED it!

Anybody who thinks a Mazda MX-5 is a "hairdresser's car" has no idea about cars. Four generations since 1989, a heritage approaching that of the Porsche 911, the top selling sportscar of all time and a car that basically every motoring journalist likes.

@UrantiaBookGems So why does toast land butter side down? Does god hate toast?

The Universe Is Not Self-Existent The sovereignty of God is unlimited. It is the fundamental fact of all creation. The universe was not inevitable. The universe is not an accident. Neither is it self-existent. The universe is a work of creation— and therefore wholly subject to the will of the Creator. The Urantia Book 3:6.2

@SandyofCthulhu I skip everything with him in. A waste of time.

Tom Bombadil stops the story cold. We are in an exciting cross-country trip as the hobbits pick their way through a creepy haunted forest to avoid the sinister Black Riders. A terrifying black huorn ensnares them. Poof! Here comes Tom deus-ex-machina Bombadil to save the hobbits from a threat which Tolkien seems to have created to give him an excuse to insert Bombadil. Then, just as the story starts to move again, Tom shows up a SECOND time as a deus-ex-machina to rescue the hobbits from the barrow wight. Ugh. Again stopping the story cold. What is Bombadil's function? He doesn't represent the Old Good Ways which the fellowship must save. Bombadil isn't threatened - he's a cheesy distraction. I'm not saying it's impossible to convince me that Bombadil is a Good Thing, but such a convincing would be an uphill battle, and I view Tom as one of Tolkien's missteps. I am happy Jackson left him out of the film, because it would have stopped the movie's flow too.

@Cine_vichaar Wendy, Jesse's yeast factory of a girlfriend according to Hank!

Julia Minesci, who played Wendy the escort in Breaking Bad, was so convincing in the role that it actually blurred the line between fiction and reality. One day while she was off set and just going about her day, a fan recognized her. But instead of asking for a photo or autograph… they tried to hire her, thinking she was a real escort. That’s how believable her performance was. Wendy may not have had a lot of screen time, but Julia Minesci made the character feel completely real gritty, raw, and unforgettable. Definitely one of the most underrated side characters in the series.

@IHPower My boomerang won't come back!

If I had a boomerang I’d name it Mack.* *give yourself one mark if you get this

@TRobinsonNewEra @antmiddleton Hahahahahahaha

Everyone must support @antmiddleton for London mayor

@scrub1966 @nosheepfool @OMGTheMess Russia made the move you twat... they invaded!

@nosheepfool @OMGTheMess Same happened with Ukraine. Nato made a move, we had to pay for it.

Are European countries refusing naval service because they fear Muslim backlash? Or because they have degraded military capability? Or because they hate trump?

@JefferyParkins2 @lesstenny Thank you. I am thinking on my plans.

@ItsMrSensible @lesstenny Miss your videos.

What would be your first reaction if this happened soon?