Its Eddy♏☯️

@MasculinitySato Unfortunately we don't have those anymore, unless you book her in school, inform her parents and pay fees, and even then you have a 50/50 chance that she will want to be with you. Trying to find a virgin in this era is hard brother. Someone adviced: PIPE AND SWIPE. SIMPLE.

@Its_Eddy1 If you can’t verify her past, choose a virgin. Keep it simple and direct.

Men, I weep for simps. Her past doesn't matter. Her past ⬇️

@AfricanHub_ AFRICA WAKE UP!!!

Fake Astronaut Arrested After Promising Unsuspecting Victims Rocks from the Moon Residents were left in disbelief this week after a self-proclaimed “South African astronaut” was arrested for allegedly running what police are calling “a low-budget space mission with zero lift-off and plenty of lies.” The suspect, seen calmly seated against a wall in full astronaut gear, reportedly convinced multiple victims that he had just returned from a top-secret lunar mission funded by “private investors and vibes.” According to witnesses, he confidently claimed he was part of “Africa’s first independent moon landing, sponsored by hope and airtime.” Authorities say the man approached unsuspecting citizens with small stones, insisting they were “100% authentic moon rocks, harvested personally under low gravity conditions.” He allegedly sold them at discounted prices, depending on how urgently the buyer “needed a piece of space.”

@2nice8282 @AfricanHub_ AFRICA WAKE UP!!!!

@AfricanHub_ Now he's spending the astronaut career in space prison cell

PLEASE HELP

@_orca_12 @amerix @SafaricomPLC Bana i bought a brand new Samsung, tried to pay something via Till and it took me back to the main menu... I've been using ussd for the past 2 months now. Inaudhi

@amerix @SafaricomPLC The problem is their sim toolkit is not working with esim if you try the lipa na mpesa option it takes you back to the two main options,went to their customer care branches they told me they are aware of it and will solve it soon, till today two months have passedno changes yet.

The only solution to @SafaricomPLC dysfunctional app is the SIM Toolkit.

@amerix Good morning, class iko on Kenya/ Mombasa/ Bombolulu

Men, Good Morning, It is a chilly Saturday morning here. Welcome to #MasculinitySaturday This is an ASSEMBLY • Of MEN • By MEN • For MEN As a tradition, mark the class register. Where are you following from? Country/City/Town/Village.

@nikokadiKE You see this nail techs have this technique of holding the lady's hand wakipaka izo marangi ama wakiapply anga masticker. Na wanajua long game juu at first itaanza kama professional, alafu dem awachilie guard. And we all know our ladies when it comes to udaku...

@nikokadiKE ... Service, msikue ignorant on nail techs, shopkeepers, and this is not made up, my Ex told me what he used to do after i comfronted some chats i saw👀. Yes I'm a victim of nail techs🤦🏾.

@nikokadiKE ...customer turns into "umenipromote sana madam, can i offer a free service on the weekend" why not?? Why not??? The friendship begins. The technique i told you ya kupapasa vidole. Nyege zinamarinatiwa at this point. By the time 2-3 months zinaisha they are offering home...

This is dude mwenye aligongea njugush anaitwa polycap alikuwa nail tech wa Cele. 😂😂

@manerico2000 @kenyasgossips Wivu itakumaliza wewe

@kenyasgossips Sasa hii maisha gani ya kujaza magari kwa compound? Kama anajisikia ako na pesa sana si atengeneze rocket washindane na Elon musk.

Veteran media personality Maina Kageni is once again making headlines after reports emerged that he has allegedly purchased a brand new 2026 Range Rover Vogue said to be worth a staggering KSh 50 million. Maina made the revelation during a live radio call with Jeff Koinange, where he reportedly shared that the high-end SUV will mostly be used within Nairobi. He explained that the vehicle will mainly serve him during golf outings and lunch meetups, giving fans yet another glimpse into his soft-life lifestyle. For many Kenyans, this doesn't come as a surprise at all. Maina Kageni has built a reputation over the years as one of the country's biggest car enthusiasts, often being linked to a fleet of top-tier rides.

@kenyasgossips Na kwani obinna hayuko? Bro doing some good work out here.

Kenya's top 10 influencers earned an estimated Ksh. 296 million from social media marketing in 2025. Kenya's top earners in order; 1. Eric Omondi – Ksh. 57 Million 2. Amber Ray – Ksh. 44 Million 3. Dem Wa FB – Ksh. 35 Million 4. Jaymo Decin – Ksh. 25 Million 5. Tom Daktari – Ksh. 25 Million 6. Crazy Kennar – Ksh. 23 Million 7. Awinja Nyamwalo – Ksh. 22 Million 8. Bahati – Ksh. 20 Million 9. Njugush – Ksh. 20 Million 10. Pascal Tokodi – Ksh. 16 Million

@Iwa_lewa1 First is a rope to tie the hand. Then I'll take a needle and start picking till it reaches morning and the neighbours have surrounded the area.

Pick your weapon

@RkrPeti @AokoOtieno_ @Robert_Njangiru Saf, airtel?? Hujachukua anything from movies, when they call then destroy simcard ama the whole phone...

@AokoOtieno_ @Robert_Njangiru Ata ukiwa na mulika mwizi?

Woi...! This one is direct from Tyler Perry studios! You recall ile scandal ya huyu na her chief of staff, former Ramogi (Royal Media) employee, Charles Odhiambo caught in hotel room? Here is how events unfolded. The name Wanga is her husband's! Gladys comes from Wang'aya, Muhoroni, which is a subclan from SAKWA. That is why Raila favoured her, and folks like Ochilo Ayacko, Gavana Migori It is b'coz of Sakwa thing. The current MP, K'yoo, used to sleep with, or should I say, inherited Glady's mother after her Dad died Her entry into politics ilianzia hapo, though Kajwang Gerald the late was her breakthrough So Wanga the man had been suspecting the affair, bro began tracking Charles' phone Wife thought she was KGB. Left smart phone home, carried mulika mwizi, akidhani hiyo ni safety measure 🚮 On the day ya miti kuteleza, Wanga saw location ya Charles reading at a 5 star hotel in Nairobi He carried two heavy bouncers, packed his pistol and headed there. Reception tried zile za "oh, it is against our policy bla bla," mzee akatoa bunduki! "Give me access to the room or!" Ati, "Okay Sir. On condition that you leave the gun here at reception", not knowing one of the bouncers amebeba ka nyundo Si akapewa these card keys. Slide, enter room! Found Gavna and Charlie hata hawajafika bed. Wako foreplay heavy on the couch after two bottles of panty dropper Her undies ziko kwa wig, tongue ya Odhis is on her bean like Bosco za matanga zikirarua remains ya slaughtered cow Akalima wife vibare as the weidas fell on Charlie, ngumi na nyundo, Gavana akaponyoka in the commotion, Ran to the reception, wakamficha na kumpea simu. She had number ya Ogeta offhead, akampigia and begged to talk to Jakom Jakom saizo alikuwa system, si ni hapa juzi akishikana na Rais. Jakom simu kwa wakuu, wakuu to NIS Si ndio walitoa Wanga scene of crime. By the time Tea tunapata was 2 months later! After Charles was airlifted abroad for specialized treatment because hao bouncers held him as hubby hit his balls na nyundo They made sure hawezi mbao tena, EVER! It was peaky blinders, plus sons of anarchy script combined! On his return, he was fired from Homabay and deployed to Kisumu under Nyong'o. Organized by Rao. Ako huko sai. Ndio uone Wanga kept fainting when Raila died. Huyo ndio alikuwa akimtoa kwa noma Sai amebaki ku bribe MPs because wakiongea, she is done! Hata sijaguza the sweetest part!

@SKishvile @sholard_mancity What are you even talking about? The KPLC app that doesn't even show real time token units. Inakuonyesha cumulative token imetumika sijui tangu mwaka ianze🤦🏾 and its not any different, ata ukibuy izo units kwa app, you'll still get the thate fae codes to input manually.

@sholard_mancity Yaani hamna hii app?

KPLC is still forcing Kenyans to live like it’s 2005 and nobody is talking about it. Why in 2026 am I: - Buying tokens - Waiting for an SMS that might delay - Then keying a long code into a meter that can even fail? Why can’t tokens just reflect automatically once you pay? If I have no power, it should come back instantly. No stress. I should be able to buy tokens from Japan for my house in Kenya, and it updates immediately, no typing anything or sending someone to key it in for me. KPLC, this is embarrassing. Fix it.

@KE_MrBlack Mimi bora sitajirishi mtu na rent

I’ve never understood the logic behind building a house with no breathing room or compound just walls all around. If you can afford a house like that, you can definitely afford to create some space for comfort and a better living environment.

@Web3flux Audio freeks wataelewa man, there's just that ick when the bass is deep, twitters zinabalance fiti, dolby atmos iko enabled alafu channel unachezea 5.1 na venye naona huyu ni 5.2 so iyo bass imerelax tu polite. Eeyyii, bana you can't convince me to not buy this. Pure greatness.

Why would you buy such a sound system in a bedsitter? Kusumbua majirani na kelele ama what’s always the end goal😅

@grok @Livloxy @historyinmemes But expensive aged wine and liquor has always been sold. Does it mean brewers in the 1800s and 1900s stored that much liquor that it hasn't finished yet? I think brewing companies just produce it using the old formula then label it 60+ years aged wine... What's your take? @grok

The $7.2M tag is mostly the flashy packaging: crystal decanter, gold filigree accents, ornate display case that looks like museum art. Inside is probably an ultra-rare aged single malt (60+ years in special casks, tiny batch). Real auction kings like the Macallan 1926 hit ~$2.7M due to scarcity and history. This seems boosted by hype/private sale vibes.

This is what a $7.2 million bottle of whiskey looks like.

@BernardKavuli I've been in both cities and its the same in terms of cost of living. The only difference ni exposure tu, which Nairobi obviously gives you more. Mombasa exposure utapata ni ya sherehe.

A Kenyan businessman questions the preference between working in Nairobi with a salary of Ksh 150,000 or in Mombasa with a salary of Ksh 120,000.