Jane J

@jessphillips I'm so pleased for your appointment as my favourite MP, though I'm Scottish and nowhere near your constituency. I also have hope every morning when I read the news and read of the new gov's latest move/thoughtful appointment. Best of luck x

Just on the train and it's been a hell of a hand break shift in the last 24 hours. I'll be eternally grateful for the twenty years I studied in preparation. Thanks for all well wishing. Today's news tells me there is not space for a moments delay.

@jessphillips She's the first actual economist to serve as chancellor since WW2 I believe. Finally, someone who actually has the qualifications for the job.

Women manage the finances of most homes, it's more than about time that one moved in to this home.

@HackBlackburn Even Larry the cat has seen 6 in his lifetime on the street.

Keir Starmer is the 10th PM in my lifetime The Queen had 15 in her entire 70 year reign I am 34

@BollocksWeather I concur.

Wall to wall shite.

@RevRichardColes I'm working my way through it at the moment. He's fabulous, particularly his accent in it, which constantly reminds me of Elliott Gould.

@seanmcdonald01 My old Mum was waiting at a bus stop in Glasgow, and raised her arm when she saw it coming. Bus stops, doors swing open and the driver says, 'and here was me thinking Hitler was deid!'

One of funniest things I’ve ever heard was a girl explaining the difference between Glasgow & London. She’d moved to London, was dressing boldly, and no one batted an eyelid. She wore a beret in Glasgow and within 2 mins someone leaned out a passing car and shouted “BONJOUR!”

@penisnow @baggybreeks Sounds more like a demand 😂

Your reliable local weather news is pleased to share this just in #penisnow has arrived

@StephenKing Happy belated trombones! Three days after mine. Thank you for a lifetime of amazing stories. You've inspired me to study creative writing in my creaking 50s 🥰📚🤡🪓

@SkyNews @theJeremyVine More concerning is that to get this 'story' you hired a lip reader to intrude on a private conversation. Don't be holding out for a Pulitzer any time soon.

"We can never be on time": The King was caught on camera grumbling to Queen Camilla, telling her "this is boring", as he waited to enter Westminster Abbey for his own coronation trib.al/zOSK4rj

@StephenKing Any song in the style of elevator music! But Girl From Ipanema on a bad keyboard would be really special.

@carolvorders Methinks he doth protest too much, lying there in bed thinking about Megan naked. What a creep. Time to hang up your poison pen Clarkson. I'm with Carol, shame on you.

NO Jeremy Clarkson. Not on any level, in any circumstance, is it ok to write this stuff about any woman & absolutely NO to "everyone who's my age thinks the same" No no no. We absolutely do NOT think the same. Listen to the noise Jeremy. The crowds are chanting "shame on YOU"

@sanditoksvig So glad to hear you're getting better. You had us all worried there. You're much loved xxx

@StephenKing Channeling her inner wolf ❤️🐾

@romankemp Cutlery.

I’m Roman. I’m 29 years old; and I still have no idea what I put in each of these… 🤷🏼‍♂️

@Alan_Measles I wonder what archaeologists of the future will make of them if they discover them buried under the sands.

Happened to be filming near Anthony Gormley’s Another Place so made a detour I was impressed, I always loved the idea but was moved by the physical experience of visiting it

@MsCherrieOntop You're doing an amazing thing. Every kid deserves a story to fire the imagination and open them up to a lifetime's love of escapism, possibilities and the written word. And Wonky Donkey is a great choice.❤️

So instead of giving into the haters … I went and got new kids books for my next story time event this Saturday in belfast! For more info dm me

@fesshole My mum enthusiastically flagged down a bus in Glasgow. She got on and the driver smirked, 'An here Wis me thinkin' Hitler was deid!' Got to love the Weegie banter.

When I was visiting Manchester, I was waiting at a bus stop. I stood there waiting for my bus as it passed. It passed again sometime later. A few passes later, another guy turned up. He waved down the driver on the next pass. I then learned.

@ArtyBagger I'm 25 years late to the party but just read Furnace by Muriel Gray and it was astounding. Can see why Stephen King has it on his recommended reads list. Off to read 'The trickster' now. Thanks Muriel!

@fesshole Not to worry, give it a few more years and someone will be doing it for you, problem solved. 😀

I'm not sure if it's just me, but as I get older it's taking longer and longer to wipe my arse. I've found that having 2 or 3 wipes and then sticking a wedge of toilet paper up my arse which I pick out about an hour later saves me at least 15 minutes a day.

@MrsDanvers11 @bmay This

@JRattrayJackson @bmay Seasonal workforce’s for farming? We should be employing people who are here and unemployed. If farmers paid properly they would get a British workforce. Fishing - how has that been affected?

Warmest congratulations to Boris Johnson’s father on becoming a French and therefore EU citizen, thereby guaranteeing himself all the freedoms, rights and protections that his son stole from the British people so that he could become the Prime Minister. 🤯 theguardian.com/politics/2022/…