JamMK

@absoluteradio Hey, Richie, I have a 1462 day streak on Duolingo! My French is still pretty pants!

@SoVeryBritish We'll schedule a Zoom meeting

What’s a very British five-word horror story? I’ll start: “Say a bit about yourself”

@nickcoffer Probably a magpie

What is the bird whose 5am call sounds like a combination of a Kalashnikov and the audio warning alarm of a reversing lorry? I feel that if I can put a “face to the name” so to speak, I may feel a little more sympathetic…

@SoVeryBritish "None taken"

Various ways a British person responds to being deeply insulted: “Bit harsh” “There’s no need for that” “Unnecessary” “Mate…” “That’s your opinion” “Oh cheers!” “Thanks a bunch” “I beg your pardon” “Steady on” “Well…” “Have you quite finished?” “Fair enough” “That’s uncalled for” “Bit rude” “I’ll put the kettle on” “Wow” “Anything else?” “Right-o” “Thanks for your honesty” “And you’re sure about that?” “Blimey” “Yeah, well, you’re not perfect either” “Charming” “I see” “I’m sorry you feel that way” “Sorry”

@autismsupport22 @PantryMolly This is an exclusive product made for @pantrymolly so all available stock is sold through them

@PantryMolly @JamMooKow Top tip... scribble over the deets so you'll sell more.

Another superstar product from @jammookow two very different condiments made from our mushrooms! #mushroomketchup #mushroomsauce #locallyproduced #localmaker #Miltonkeynes #condiments

@LouBou You can enjoy those all afternoon, on repeat

I’m full of bacon crisps

@GilesYeo I've currently got high pressure for the first time in my life. I'm not overweight. I don't want medication for it as I would like to tackle the cause but I don't know what that is. Don't want to just mask the problem.

👇👀 Very uneasy about high blood pressure medication being offered to 100s of thousands of patients on NHS. It sends completely the wrong message & undermines the importance of personal responsibility. Take a pill & all will be fine. Not the right attitude #obesityisnotachoice

@LouBou A salad isn't a salad without it!

Salad cream is up there as one of the best creams ever

Well, this seems like a particularly splendid idea!

@LouBou I used to enjoy writing stories when I was a kid. Managed to do it right up to going to university, by which point they were quite complex thrillers. But suddenly I felt completely paralysed by the need to get everything factually accurate. Mega writers' block until this day!

At bedtime the kids and I are currently reading Alice in Wonderland I am quite envious about how you can read the most bonkers of things with children and they just accept it as plausible. Long may the belief in the impossible live

@MartinSLewis I bought a printer on ebay in June for daughter to use at university. She set it up in September & it didn't print properly. Buyer on ebay suggested software issues & ink issues. Dealing with that took till December. Now the buyer isn't replying & ebay says too long ago. What now

Faulty tech? Don’t let ‘em fob you off with ‘sorry you’re out of warranty’

@DoctorChrisVT Lovely! I look forward to that!

@JamMooKow Yes it will! And it will be me reading it. Cx

My book about Ultra Processed Food and why we can’t stop eating it is published on the 27th April. It’s going to make a lot of people very angry and I’m excited about that. It really isn’t you…it’s the food. #UPP #UPF

@NeilMcDougall1 @JeremyVineOn5 That's more like it!

@JeremyVineOn5 God no. Shetland Morse Lewis Unforgotten Endeavour Vera Foyles War DCI Banks Frost Get a grip man….

1. Happy Valley 📺⭐️ 2. Line of Duty 3. The Sweeney 4. Broadchurch 5. Dixon of Dock Green 6. Midsomer Murders 7. Silent Witness 8. Poirot 9. The Bill 10. Life on Mars Do you agree with our ranking of British police dramas? 👮 Let us know if you have any additions? #JeremyVine

@LouBou I don't know how you can get on with your life when something like that happens.

I can’t stop thinking about that missing woman 😣

@BTBusiness how about your stop emailing my dead husband and threatening to send in the debt collectors despite me spending hours on the phone to you and being told there is no debt and there will be no more emails sent! I don't have the energy for this.

@ScarredForLife2 People wonder why children don't play out in the streets anymore. It's because their parents were subjected to these information films as children!

The great British public information film: accidents, injuries, and death, death, DEATH!

@The_PBS I was thinking the same thing! And I can't figure out why there isn't more urgency to resolve it. Royal Mail seems to be on self-destruct right now.

I'm not really sure how the fact that The Royal Mail has been attacked and can't send mail out of the country for nearly two weeks isn't headline news every day!

@LouBou I was so glad that I only put up the tree and some lights outside when it came to packing it away.

Taking the tree down is well more aggy than it going up

@eliistender10 I rolled my car into a ditch when I was in my early 20s. The guy in the car behind drove me to the nearest phone box and let me sit in his car until my brother arrived.

What was one impactful moment that you shared with a stranger that you never saw ever again?