(ʞuɐʍ) just jared

in full swing..

Tearfully waving out the train window as my girlfriend runs alongside *45 minutes later* She's still keeping pace. It's inhuman. Everyone on the train is screaming. I'm begging her to stop but she can't hear me. Her eyes are pure white. Police helicopters circle overhead

as the years go by, mall Santa’s start becoming less and less believable.. when will I be the fat man dressed in the suit? soon maybe.

Baby giraffes when they're born

This would fucking suck!

This is objectively one of the funniest jokes/ gags ever told on film

the problem with being someone who “stays hydrated” is driving around with 34 empty water bottles permanently bashing against one another…

Elon Musk is pushing an urgent update to all Teslas, to make them autonomously drive past Grimes’s house a few times each night (just to see if she’s home).

just remembered this scene from lion king and how it had me thinking that maybe bugs taste good

Thomas the Tank Engine is the most stressful kids show ever. Alway some bullshit drama on the tracks. Nothing ever goes smoothly on that fucken island. Derailed trains, cargo spills, broken trains, it’s a fucken nightmare. Fuck this show.

this looks like a commercial for anxiety medication

I WILL NEVER REMEMBER TO BRING A BAG FOR WOOLIES

Spiderman: No Way Home

white people can’t say Qgeberha but have the confidence to order an Açai bowl.. I can’t do either of those things..

oprah: who said that shit meg: im not gonna say oprah: okay i respect that oprah: harry who said that shit to you

Me at the bar watching my dik gesuip brasse while they don’t know I’m about to stiek uit back with 14 sambucas

My 20 year old cousin got his own apartment and it's going pretty well