Joseph Dignan

SLAM, poetry. YELLING! Angry. Waving my hands a LOT! Specific point of view on THINGS! Cynthia. Cyn-thi-A! Jesus died for our SIN-THI-AS! Jesus cried, runaway brideee Julia Roberts! Julia Rob.. HURTS. Cynthia! Mmmmm Cynthia. You’re dead. YOU ARE DEAD. Bap boop beep bop boo bop!

HS2. A masterclass in how Britain destroys money. The cost: • 2011: £32.7bn • 2013: £45bn • 2015: £55.7bn • 2019: up to £88bn • 2020: up to £106bn • 2026: up to £102.7bn… for a fraction of the original route What’s been cut along the way: • 2021: Eastern leg to Leeds: SCRAPPED • 2022: Golborne link to Scotland: SCRAPPED • 2023: Birmingham → Manchester leg: SCRAPPED • 2023: Crewe hub: SCRAPPED • Euston terminus: paused, downsized from 10 platforms to 6, now needs private finance Original plan: 11 cities, 340 miles, £32bn, open 2026. What we’re getting: 4 stations, 140 miles, £100bn+, open 2039. A national embarrassment, paid for by taxpayers.

It costs more to build a train from London to Birmingham (£102.7 bn) than for NASA to return to the moon (£100 bn) England is so broken.

So here we have 2 children, one is a racist, violent, far right thug, the other, well I’ll let you decide.

Two children, two protests. One was taught to love their country. The other was taught to hate.

He liked the meme, now make every single post on his timeline the meme.

Keep the page perfectly still, then the exact moment he's about to tap the screen, load an ad and shift everything down half an inch.

He’s going to the airport. Add 10 people in the security line who have never spent a day on earth.

I can’t believe I’ve lived long enough to watch the full reproductive cycle of an iPod nano

He’s going to the post office. Add 10 people in line who have never mailed anything in their entire life

One thing about butterflies they do not fly in your house that’s a bug with class

What a terrible day to have eyes and the ability to read.

Bravo, @Keir_Starmer, for getting in an Adviser on Women and Girls who thinks the definition of women and girls includes men and boys. That'll definitely win back people who believe Labour's a party for smug, lanyard-wearing, luxury-belief-espousing cultural elitists. 1/2

barely a day goes by when I don’t watch this

I love when people tweet “you’ll never guess in a million years who…” and they’re absolutely correct

rats coming back to remind the world they're the og plaguefluencers

@flapprdotnet @GWaugh32

JP Morgan brokers discussing performance reviews:

"YoU aReN't AlWaYs GoNnA hAvE a CaLcUlAtOr In YoUr PoCkEt" -Lying ass 90s teachers

9 year old me going through the Argos catalogue when my mum asks what I want for Christmas

Trying to figure out where you went wrong building that IKEA cupboard