kmad

How big is a mosquito stomach that they bite the whole night, they should just bite once, get full and live us to sleep in peace

@shakamangondo Mwari ndewe munhu wese

Woman are not grateful at all…nhasi ndaona musikana wandoziva akatengerwa mota nemumwe murume wemunhu zvandoziva ini ndaona ari busy kuridza ka song karikuridzwa mazuvano nemunhu wese kekuti ndakainamatira nyaya iyoyi musadaro imi aaaahhh

@twoshadee Ndakakumbirwa mvura ne this guy, later i discovered that all my cash in the wallet had varnished

Chero ndikamiswa nechembere muHarare ichibvunza ma directions handimire 😂😂😂sorry zvenyu gogo asi rasikai zvenyu. Vanhu vanoba vaye hameno mishonga yavo vakuiwanepi yekutidzimaidza 😩

@todo_simms Don’t reduce your worth to virginity

Never marry for love, marry for money...

@TheOnlyKemi Don’t reduce your worth to virginity

I was a virgin until 24, started dating Moyo since 21, he didn't pressure me, told me to take my time, loved, cared and still spent on me... After my 24th birthday, we had a big fight and separated. I thought that was the end Out of anger I lost my virginity to a random guy and just 2 days after Moyo reached out to me. He wanted us back together. I felt horrible cos I was no longer a virgin, I told him instantly because I was scared and didn't want to lead him on. But he was sad, angry and he went quiet. That was the last time I heard from him I thought he loved me for who I am but sadly he was only after my body like every other man.

@shylie_zw They always do this

When i was home my cocomelon was acting like he is about to die,, temperature high and all,, no energy..Now we are at the clinic he is very active ,singing and smiling at the nurses zvakuita kunge ndiri kunyepa manje😒😒😒

While reading an article about fathers and sons having their first drink together, I remembered the time I took my daughter out for her first drink. We went to a bar just two blocks from the house. I got her a Sam Adams. She didn’t like it. so I drank it. Then I got her a Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. Same thing — so I drank that too. Then I tried a Blue Moon. Nope… drank that as well. Thinking maybe she’d prefer something stronger, I ordered a Tito’s and soda. She wouldn’t touch it… so I drank it. In desperation, I even got a top-shelf bourbon — the bar’s finest. She wouldn’t even smell it… so I drank that too. By the time I realized she just didn’t like to drink, I was so drunk I could barely push her stroller home.

A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath, he asked, "Please, may I hide under your skirt? I'll explain later." The nun agreed. A moment later, two Military Police ran up and asked, "Sister, have you seen a soldier?" The nun replied, "He went that way." After the Military Police ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to war in Iran." The nun said, "I understand completely." The soldier added, "I hope I'm not being rude, but you have a great pair of legs!" The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls... I don't want to go to Iran either!"

@makakaseni 1NZ and 1ZZ ndakaona dzichidzoka zvakanaka

Engine inodzoka chete ndeye Hiace. Dzimwe dzese mahumbwe zvawo🥵

@xplorerzim @fallrise__ The phone's charging circuit acts as a safety barrier, designed to accept power from only one source, usually prioritizing the wired connection which disables the wireless input

What begins in peace can end in pain. Not every warning comes with a sound. Some lessons arrive after the damage is done. Safety is never small until it is missing. One moment of care can prevent a lifetime of regret.Protect what matters before it is too late.Stay alert, stay safe, and never ignore the risk.

@Nocylove123 Send them to their grand parents

Do you guys understand that there's no off day in parenting?? like it's permanently permanent. 😩😩🙆🏻‍♀️

@PhiriTofara Some companies pay attachees more because they never hire permanently. Uchazoona wapedza attachement kuti kunze kunopisa

imi ishuwa here kuti vanhu murikupiwa ma USD650 kuma attachment uko?😬😬😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

A man ordered a bowl of beef noodles on a delivery for $30. When it arrived, he searched the entire bowl and found only one slice of beef. So, he called the restaurant to complain but the owner confidently replied, "Even if there’s only one slice, it’s still beef, right?" The man hung up. Then he went downstairs and bought half a pound of beef. He covered the whole bowl with beef, took a photo and posted it in the review section "So, satisfied. The restaurant has amazing service. They’re incredibly generous with the beef. Definitely the right choice." A few days later, the restaurant, started receiving tons of complaints. The platform removed them completely.

Kubasa kwandoshanda HR vazongoti kutanga next month salary tikuendesa direct kuvakadzi venyu dzimwe dzikabva dzati ndosaka tichizoita magay 😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂

@priye_tanya 2 seconds rule

I was eating biscuits in the living room, and some fell on the floor. I picked them up and was about to eat them when my 4-year-old nephew said, “Eww, that’s unhygienic.” I shamefully told him he was right and that I’d go and throw them away. I got to the kitchen… and poured the biscuits straight into my mouth. Na him sabi 😭

@zeraenergy @official_MOEPD @mazeti1 @InfoMinZW @HeraldZimbabwe @newswireZW @ZBCNewsonline @BusinessTimesZW @ChronicleZim @ManicaPostZim @DailyNewsZim @powerfmzimbabwe @capitalkfm @ZiFMStereo @Bulawayo24News @263Chat @3KtvZim @ZTNPrime x.com/i/status/20294…

ZERA Notice: Fuel Prices effective 4 March 2026 @official_MOEPD @mazeti1 @InfoMinZW @HeraldZimbabwe @newswireZW @ZBCNewsonline @BusinessTimesZW @ChronicleZim @ManicaPostZim @DailyNewsZim @powerfmzimbabwe @capitalkfm @ZiFMStereo @Bulawayo24News @263Chat @3KtvZim @ZTNPrime

@zeraenergy @official_MOEPD @mazeti1 @InfoMinZW @HeraldZimbabwe @newswireZW @ZBCNewsonline @BusinessTimesZW @ChronicleZim @ManicaPostZim @DailyNewsZim @powerfmzimbabwe @capitalkfm @ZiFMStereo @Bulawayo24News @263Chat @3KtvZim @ZTNPrime Last time takaudzwa kuti Venezuala is too far away from us so why does Iran have an effect on us when its also far

@tinomabwe Harare City Council yakauraya vanhu muma confined space last year.

I saw these pictures on the Chinhoyi Municipality facebook page. The caption read “Municipality of Chinhoyi technicians successfully repaired the 10000 cubic meter water upper reservoir gauge yesterday”. Looking at those pics, I am concerned about how nobody seems not to be worried about Safety. No PPE, no safety gear in a confined space, no gumboots in a water logged area, they could have suctioned the water out. These things are really worrying and nobody should be allowed to work under such circumstances. We have reached very dangerous levels in our country

@zimpricecheck What about Petrol and Diesel

The price of LP Gas is expected to rise this week following major disruptions at Saudi Aramco's facilities. Saudi Arabia is a critical player in the global energy market, and recent events have caused significant supply concerns. On 23 February, a pipeline collapse at the Juaymah terminal halted exports, and yesterday, the Ras Tanura refinery was shut down after a drone strike amid escalating regional conflict. Zimbabweans now rely heavily on LP Gas for daily cooking. While prices have been relatively stable recently, the global turmoil is likely to push local costs upward: * 📉 𝗛𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗟𝗼𝘄: Prices hit a low of US$1.42/kg in recent months. * 📈 𝗖𝘂𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗥𝗮𝘁𝗲: The price currently sits around US$1.57/kg, but this is expected to climb. * 🌍 𝗚𝗹𝗼𝗯𝗮𝗹 𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗰𝘁: Conflict in the Middle East is disrupting shipping lanes, while sanctions on other major producers like Russia continue to stress the market. If you have the means, we recommend stocking up on at least a month's supply of LP Gas before these international price hikes reach our local retail outlets. ⛽ 📲 𝗝𝗼𝗶𝗻 𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁𝘀𝗔𝗽𝗽 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗹 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝘂𝗽𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱: whatsapp.com/channel/0029Va… #ZimEconomy #LPGas #EnergyUpdate #Zimpricecheck #ConsumerAlert #Harare

This lady at work said “Haa i have noticed you like healthy stuff” just because ndinowanzosvika pabasa ndabata small yoghurt or mafruits asingazive kuti ndinenge ndatomanikidzwa naConductor after ndashaya mazig😭

@cemambo #RBZ should remove 2% IMT tax

RBZ Governor says banks have finally removed the charge for balance enquiries. Cash withdrawal charges have also been reduced to 2% from around 4% #RBZ2026MPS