Kelly From The Block

@fesshole This is so lovely to read. You can do it ! I really hope you have a fabulous time 💗 Please do let us know how it goes...Just breathe, smile and enjoy it all you can. It's been a tough couple of years for us all 🥰

Invited to a colleagues wedding reception in a few months. He has no idea how big a deal this is for me. I have social anxiety, no social life & am slightly terrified about being at a gathering with no-one I know & just sitting there awkwardly. I am being brave & going though.

@fesshole This is the second time I've seen this exact fess in less than a month...Desperate for content ? Probably...Someone lying their ass off again...Definitely...

For a university project I copied and pasted an entire section of Wikipedia, when I uploaded it, it got flagged as plagiarism. I edited it, changing all the spaces to ALT+255 - a clear block- and suddenly it was perfectly acceptable. I got a 2-2.

@fesshole This wins the Internet for me today 😂 This kid is a Legend 😂 My god...If my Daughter said this in front of my inlaws they would have had a heart attack 😂

My 2 year old can't say "oink oink" for a pig noise. He says "wank wank". He doesn't say this. He shouts it. Whenever possible I ask him what a cow, sheep and then a pig says in front of other people to see their reaction. Twice people have spat out drinks nearby.

@fesshole My other half does this 😂 It's never age appropriate but is is always funny 😂

I have a silly habit of changing song lyrics to make them obscene. I used to sing these round the house when I was alone but since Covid-19, I've been caught doing it by my wife and kid. My daughter now thinks the Bee Gees hit is 'I'm deep in your ass'.

@fesshole You know when you watch a YouTube video and autoplay is on ? I watched something and then the follow up was a TED talk...About how only 7% of American couples are having sex once a week...That's a LOT of sexually frustrated people wondering around ya know 😳

I decided to stop initiating sex with my OH to see if she'd ever initiate it as an experiment. She hasn't. It's been 3 years now and she clearly isn't bothered. I miss it, but don't want to make her feel like she should have sex with me just for my sake, so I won't mention it.

@fesshole I don't believe you ...Stop listening to the Rolling Stones when you're pissed and fantasising that you are a pound shop version of Keith Richards 😂

My wonderful lab passed away. He was my bestest pal. One night my wife went away and I got so drunk, I snorted a line of his ashes. I felt he'd always be with me...

@fesshole Women have been doing this for years ...You have a "Fuck Off Fund"

I havent told my wife about my last two promotions at work. I still pay the same amount each month into our joint bank account as I have always done and kept the rest in my own, building up as savings. I'm not sure why.

@RichKingston73 @fesshole Everything you don't need to hear when navigating a break up 🙈😅 Should I just give up now or what ? I fucking despair 😂

@KellyBlock @fesshole I think that’s pretty much men.. 😂 apologies. Have some 🍷 to drown us out

I found my mothers gold tipped vibrator on top of the suitcases in her wardrobe. I used it with several girlfriends but I did wipe it before I put it back.

@RichKingston73 @fesshole Yep...You've ruined my night now ...😂 Cheers for the teenage boy / adolescent stupidity perspective 👍😂

@KellyBlock @fesshole Never underestimate the level the borderline adolescent mind will drop to. I’m not guilty here, but I’d suspect this happened.

@RichKingston73 @fesshole At this time on a Sunday night, we are all just about given up on life....So I fucking BEG of you...Please don't say you're speaking from experience 🙈😅😂

@KellyBlock @fesshole I’d imagine this is real.

@Jobrad15 @Chlse_ @fesshole Standards must be low as FUCK 🤮 i really don't know how much longer I can cope with this page 😅 It's interfering with me listening to Brandon Flowers and drinking wine 😂🙈

@KellyBlock @Chlse_ @fesshole Lovely how he wiped it after! What about before FFS

@Chlse_ @fesshole Do you know what I mean ?? 😂😂 I like a laugh and I'm no prude but...Jesus Fucking CHRIST 🙈😂 Too far this ....

@KellyBlock @fesshole I bloody hope this fess is bollocks because.... 🤢

@pcaffin @fesshole You are entitled to your opinion, of course you are. But you see, this happens a lot, and I'd be accommodating to ALL genuine cases. And my business is very much worth dealing with, as many many clients and companies can vouch for. Don't assume you know me 🖐

@KellyBlock @fesshole In the end, if you're not taking the client's word and the cleaner's word, you're not a business worth dealing with. The alternative I'd suggest: get a photo of it, get a quote for replacement online or repair, and make the purchase. So, no cash incentive to them to lie.

Aged 15 my parents went away so naturally I had a house party. A very expensive antique lamp got smashed. I propped it up when they came home to hide the crack and the next day the cleaner 'broke' it. She was mortified. I felt awful

@pcaffin @fesshole If it was genuine, they would definitely be able to say something like "I'm sorry, I don't have proof of the transaction" ...At which point I would work with them to find an alternative approach and solution. So, yes..They are definitely lying 🤥

@KellyBlock @fesshole Wouldn't take that as proof they're lying though, just that most people don't keep receipts for very long. I don't know anyone who would.

@Namelessghoul32 @fesshole I'm not riled up mate, I'm just pointing out that this is a reality for some people...Especially cleaners. Have a great weekend, however you spend it 😘

@KellyBlock @fesshole Because you're riled up by what could be a bullshit "confession" lighten up and enjoy your weekend pet

@Namelessghoul32 @fesshole I'm not sure what you find funny about lying and attempting to carry out insurance fraud, but it takes all sorts I guess ...Whatever gets you through the day ...🙄

@KellyBlock @fesshole 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@fesshole Is this you Matt Hancock (Wanksock) ? 🤔

A while ago someone on here asked if men really wank into socks. I don't know about everyone else but I do. Sometimes I use a tea towel instead. Makes clean up easy. Been doing it for years.

@a_starmer @thirty00110011 @fesshole I'm gonna have to change my bio I reckon 🤔😂

@KellyBlock @thirty00110011 @fesshole And spoiled a funny story!!😂😂

At my wedding, my head bridesmaid did a speech. She started off with "I'm not going to tell the story about Beth, when we went to a Killing Kittens sex party together." Not a soul knew, I nearly died in front of 60 guests.