kyle raney

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kyle raney

kyle raney

@Kyle_Raney

Overwhelmingly underwhelming

[ TAMU 16 ] Katılım Ekim 2009
372 Takip Edilen1.2K Takipçiler
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kyle raney
kyle raney@Kyle_Raney·
[hospital] "We found the problem. There's an entire sheep in your stomach." "Is that bahahaad?" "Yes. It's causing some internal bleating."
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kyle raney
kyle raney@Kyle_Raney·
Prince of Egypt soundtrack slaps, don't @ me
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kyle raney
kyle raney@Kyle_Raney·
Friend: "what should we do about your car?" Me: "let's just leave it there for the time being" The Time Being: [getting in the car] "omg thank you guys, this is so nice"
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kyle raney retweetledi
kyle raney
kyle raney@Kyle_Raney·
"Like, I --literally-- cannot even deal right now." - casino dealer that gets really bad hand cramps
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slick
slick@dlicj·
just took my garbages out to the road. hopefully it’s enough for them this time and the garbage men aren’t banging on my door asking for “more garbage”
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kyle raney
kyle raney@Kyle_Raney·
@gtRidge Absolutely. The only thing in life better than Twitter fame is any other accomplishment
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your bff alex
your bff alex@psybermonkey·
Her: I want you to kill my ex but make it seem like an accident Me: say no more [Later] Detective: looks like the killer beat him to death with a crowbar and then placed a banana peel by his feet
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chuuch
chuuch@ch000ch·
the opposite of Outback Steakhouse is Infront Fish Apartment. my wife left divorce papers on the counter this morning
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marf
marf@MarfSalvador·
me: wanna join the mile high club? gf: sssh we can't! hot air balloon pilot: just pretend I'm not here
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marf
marf@MarfSalvador·
[firing torpedo from submarine] torpedo: but I don't know how to do anything else
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Megan Nicole Dong
Megan Nicole Dong@sketchshark·
My friends hate this horse and I don’t know why...
Megan Nicole Dong tweet media
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Zilla
Zilla@GoodZiIIa·
Boss: You're fired Me: *turns in my gun and my badge* Boss: You're a waiter where did you get those
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alex norris
alex norris@sillyalexnorris·
oh no
alex norris tweet media
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