LimeriTweets / WoodyGuth3

Markwayne Mullin seems qualified to head the Department of Homeland Security. Send this to your Senator to let them know!

The Afroman Trial. -Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons. -Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up. -No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman. -Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras. -Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives. -During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat. -The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation. -Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit. -Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them. -One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife. -As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE. -The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman. This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

I would absolutely watch a two-hour documentary about this case.

ALERT: Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA) votes YES on Markwayne Mullin nomination to be Homeland Security Secretary Fetterman helps Mullin salvage an 8-7 vote of support from the Senate Homeland Security Cmte

Breaking: Sen. MULLIN’s nomination for DHS secretary advances out of committee in an 8-7 vote HSGAC Chair RAND PAUL breaks w/ R’s and votes no, after clashing w/ Mullin over his past comments & saying he has disqualifying “anger issues.” Sen. FETTERMAN is the only Dem yes, allowing nom to move forward Senate GOP leaders planning floor vote early next week

John Fetterman gives key vote to send Markwayne Mullin’s nomination to the floor with Senate panel approving nomination, 8-7. Rand Paul voted with Dems and voted NO

Fetterman is mentally ill.

ALERT: Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA) votes YES on Markwayne Mullin nomination to be Homeland Security Secretary Fetterman helps Mullin salvage an 8-7 vote of support from the Senate Homeland Security Cmte