Jonathan Long

@AnthonyLapietra Yeah, but you get a sweet mystery gift

ah yes just what i needed. in 3 weeks from now, ship me a 4 month supply of 240 capsules and then 1 week after that, bill me for another 240 capsules ..before my first order even arrives. i will surely stay on this subscription with a great retention

This may be the song of the summer.

I've been building brands on Shopify since day one. So, almost 20 years. But this is my first time on the app side, having spent nearly 2 years building something that solves a common problem. So, first time dealing with this side of the madness, but Shopify doing dumb things is nothing new to me. 💀🤣

@long @Shopify Yeah the "review" process is super weird - A Shopify Plus customer who spent $1k with will be reviewed for 3 days - A random store on Shopify trial installing the app and not getting a support reply on sunday gets their review published instantly 😀

Hot take 🔥 the solution to @Shopify app store fake reviews is EZ: Only allow shops that have paid money for an app to leave reviews. Every other marketplace has some form of "Verified purchase" - It will instantly kill review farms or black hat tactics. Repost if you agree

@faridmovsumov Have you seen them scraping Amazon reviews and posting those?! Crap like "Wow this is the best pink hoodie. It's so soft and cozy!" - on a upsell app lol - insane. How are they getting through?!

The fake review is a hot 🔥 topic in the Shopify app world, so let me share this little example. And they are still using our name in their app title and description 🤦‍♂️

@yankeedft They are missing the shit and flies with a nut scratch or ass pick mixed in for good measure. Other than that, pretty solid.

White guys imitating Indians making street food. This is the funniest sh!t I’ve seen all year.

@Polymarket You retards are going to buy all the toilet paper again, aren't you...

JUST IN: People in at least three U.S. states are reportedly being monitored for possible hantavirus exposure.

@Jared_Carrabis Imagine if Breslow and Henry weren't retarded...

Munetaka Murakami is first in the American League (4th in MLB) in exit velocity (95.4) and number one in hard hit rate (64.5%) in Major League Baseball.

@ShopifyDevs @Shopify @ShopifySupport @tobi @harleyf Calling the cavalry to see if we can get some help with an app review before a group of students leave for semester break. Thank you! DMs open. 🙏 (or chat messages...whatever they are called now lol)

@LiamFennessy_ ABS Challenge?

Linda documenting the entire thing is crazy work

…and 7 flights for $597.48 is why Spirit went out of business.

@BOSSportsGordo Trade him for 3 orders of Lobstah Poutine. Sox would be getting the better value.

Chad Tracy told the media that they are considering using an opener for Brayan Bello in his next start.

@vocalcry CrossFitters, Cold Plungers, Just Found Jesus Club, MLM "Business Owner" Retards, Peptide Takers....and People Who Decide to Leave Miami. These are the groups of people who make you want to put your head through the wall every time they open their mouth.

No one: This guy randomly leaving Miami several one-star reviews in my replies:

@BrightSideSox Actually insane

$20 for a High Noon is genuinely disgusting work.

@RedSox Ship Bello to the moon

Solid first outing for Jake Bennett!

@hxxntrr Are these 90K G Wagons in the room with us right now?

Buying a G-Wagon for your LLC is the smartest tax move in America Section 179 of the IRS tax code lets you deduct 100% of the purchase price of a vehicle in the year you buy it, as long as the vehicle weighs over 6,000 pounds (gross vehicle weight rating) The G-Wagon is 6,945 lbs. So is the Cadillac Escalade. So is the Range Rover, the Tesla Model X, the BMW X7, the Lexus LX, the Ford F-250, and basically any heavy SUV or truck. All Section 179 eligible The math on a $90,000 G-Wagon purchased through your LLC: Purchase price: $90,000 Section 179 deduction year 1: $90,000 (100% of purchase) Tax savings if you're in a 37% federal bracket: $33,300 Tax savings on state income tax (avg 5%): $4,500 Total first-year tax savings: $37,800 Effectively the IRS subsidizes 42% of the purchase price. A $90K G-Wagon costs your business $52,200 after the deduction lands How the rules actually work: The vehicle has to be used 50%+ for business purposes. You document this with a mileage log showing business trips vs personal. Most operators easily hit 50%+ if they use the vehicle for client meetings, vendor visits, or any commute to a business location The deduction limit for a passenger SUV under 6,000 lbs is roughly $12,400 in year 1 (much smaller). Over 6,000 lbs the limit jumps to the full purchase price. The 6,000 lb threshold is the entire reason every successful operator drives a heavy SUV Bonus depreciation: if Section 179 doesn't fully cover the purchase (rare for vehicles), bonus depreciation kicks in for whatever's left. As of 2026 bonus depreciation is at 60% but congress changes this regularly How you fund the purchase: Stack 0% business credit cards. $90K of vehicle purchase routed through a dealer that accepts cards (or via Plastiq for the dealer that doesn't) sits on a 12-15 month 0% APR card. You drive the G-Wagon today. You get the $37,800 tax deduction at year-end. The credit card is at 0% for 12+ months while you pay it down from business cash flow Net first-year cost of the vehicle: $52,200 (post-deduction price), spread interest-free over 12 months. Effective monthly cost: $4,350 Or take a $50K-$90K equipment loan from a bank like SoFi or Bank of America Business at 7-9% APR. The deduction still applies. The loan is structured around the asset A client we worked with last quarter bought a 2024 Range Rover for his marketing LLC. Total cost $108K. Routed through Plastiq onto Chase Ink Business Cash and Amex Business Gold. Section 179 deduction in tax year 2024: $108K. He was in a 37% federal + 9% California state bracket. Total tax savings: $49,680 Effective net cost: $58,320 for an asset that was already going to be a personal car and is now a business asset with full deductibility. Plus he kept the credit cards at 0% while business cash paid them down through the year The IRS wrote Section 179 into the code to incentivize small businesses to buy equipment. Vehicles count as equipment if they meet the weight threshold. Almost every wealthy business owner uses this. Almost every small business owner has no idea it exists (we get 700+ score business owners $100K-$250K in 0% business funding and structure the Section 179 vehicle play alongside it. link in bio)

DON'T LET THE SOX GET HOT! #DirtyWater #RedSox

@nikitabier Yes. And the ability to remove inactive ones based on a time frame. Ex: inactive 120 days, 90 days, etc.

Would it valuable to know how many of your followers have been active on X in the last 24 hours?

@BoSoxInjection I swung and missed! I was certain it was Pedroia. Honestly, Beckett would be my last guess! Nice.

Ex-Red Sox pitcher Josh Beckett has revealed himself as the author of a now-famous quote about Alex Cora's firing. 🤭

@Jared_Carrabis Need a video of this like I need air to breathe

A plane just flew over Fenway with a banner that says, “Fire Craig! Sell the team!” Welp.