Luke Gallo

@LinkofSunshine ,©,zD$

These checks have cost the NY gov over 1 billion dollars, almost 50% of the entire yearly operating budget In fact, just as many people working desk jobs are recieving disability as front line workers! You'd think the union should focus on dangerous conditions in their offices!

What's the most dangerous job in America? You might think it's being in the army, or a police officer, or a construction worker But one job has double the amount of people getting disability checks. 75% of LIRR employees are receiving disability checks from the NY Gov.

I was skeptical, but now I’m completely convinced. Fencing will become super popular due to this one very particular improvement to the sport. “Sword tip visualization” It’s going to debut at the summer olympics. Every single duel will look like a bloody lightsaber fight

Twitter this week

This is a little known piece of knowledge for the Reels generation, but scenes used to have many other scenes attached to them, and you were required to watch all of them - we called the combination ‘movies,’ and sometimes some scenes were good but more were bad.

“Mommy did we always need biometrics to go online?” No, some chick’s shitty parents didn’t keep her off the internet as a child and she didn’t learn how to knit and have an Etsy shop or some shit and they sued and well here we are.

The Afroman Trial. -Cops raid Afromans house for bullshit reasons. -Steal money, break his door, fuck his house up. -No criminality found whatsoever, no charges at all pressed on Afroman. -Afroman spends the next 3 years making songs that make fun of all the officers involved by name, even using footage of the raid from his own CCTV cameras. -Songs had titles like "Randy Walters is a son of a bitch" and "Lick Em Low Lisa" accusing one of the officers of being a lesbian and sleeping with the other officers wives. -During the raid one officer looked like he was about to eat some lemon pound cake sitting on Afromans counter, Afroman made a whole album calling the officer fat. -The cops get mad and file a lawsuit for defamation. -Afroman turns up to court in a whole American flag suit. -Officers performatively mald and cry while listening to the songs really trying to oversell how badly the songs upset them. -One officer was suing because Afroman made a whole song about him saying he was fucking the officers wife. When the officer was asked if Afroman was really fucking his wife, he said "I don't know". Nuking his own case and establishing that there is a non-zero chance that Afroman might actually be fucking his wife. -As his only witness for the trial, Afroman brought a deputies EX FUCKING WIFE. -The jury ruled completely in favour of Afroman. This entire thing has been a great win for free speech and absolutely fucking hilarious.

The Ring cam lost dog ad is just propaganda for mass surveillance.

There are two ways to play the human in a Muppet movie. The first is to act like the Muppets are humans (Michael Caine). The second is to act like you are a Muppet (Tim Curry). Both strategies are commendable

Thinking a lot about @michaelmalice right now. No reason.

“What do you mean all your burritos, we’re talking about one loan on one burrito, right?” “I had five burritos”

Conservatives spent years whining about "cancel culture" and people supposedly losing their jobs over a tweet--only to act ecstatic when unelected President Elon fires millions of hardworking government employees for literally *no* reason You can't spell hypocrisy without GOP

JAX 6 - 52 DET Final That's Scorigami!! It's the 1088th unique final score in NFL history.

Biden can still run again in 2028

There is no reason Kamala can’t still go on Rogan.

@GhostStalker451 Or the guy who signed off on the organic farm raids that got the Amish out to vote.

As if it weren't painfully obvious, political Twitter uses polls like a drunk uses a light pole: for support, not illumination

"Get me George Clooney on the phone" - Joe Biden

Thank heavens for community notes