Todd Lunch

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Todd Lunch

Todd Lunch

@LunchTodd

Tartarus Katılım Ocak 2020
1.4K Takip Edilen341 Takipçiler
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Todd Lunch
Todd Lunch@LunchTodd·
My father was a harsh man. A tough disciplinarian. I remember one time he caught me smoking a cigarette. As punishment he locked me in the cupboard, and wouldn't let me out until I'd eaten the entire contents of Knowsley Safari Park. Including the gift shop. He never told me why.
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Todd Lunch
Todd Lunch@LunchTodd·
@EricIdle Send him to the electric chair, and throw away the key.
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Todd Lunch
Todd Lunch@LunchTodd·
@RequestABet What odds can you give me on Coventry knocking Leeds out of the playoffs? (Semis or Final)
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Todd Lunch
Todd Lunch@LunchTodd·
@Nigel_Farage You're a pathetic weasel just like your puppeteers. No self respect at all. You're the third biggest loser on the planet.
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Todd Lunch
Todd Lunch@LunchTodd·
@DaftLimmy Preaching t the divs, but Patrick fucking Cowley .
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Todd Lunch
Todd Lunch@LunchTodd·
@JamesMoir10 @nancy_sorrell Jim, you won't remember, but my mate once got you to phone me when he saw you in a pub. I have a sketch I think you'd enjoy if you'd like to see it.
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mrk
mrk@mrkhndy·
If you are lucky, you bite into a toasted sandwich but you don’t get purchase on the ham and the ham is simply dragged out of the sandwich, and it rests on the area between your mouth and your nose, the molten cheese acting as a scalding glue.
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mrk
mrk@mrkhndy·
And as you sit there in terrible but familiar pain, you wonder what that area is called.
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Todd Lunch
Todd Lunch@LunchTodd·
@Lady_Jay_Bee3 I see Adam hasn't commented, so please imagine what he said on my behalf. X
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Lady_Jay_Bee3
Lady_Jay_Bee3@Lady_Jay_Bee3·
🎵 lights, camera, bitch, smile 🎵
Lady_Jay_Bee3 tweet mediaLady_Jay_Bee3 tweet mediaLady_Jay_Bee3 tweet media
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Angry Staffer
Angry Staffer@Angry_Staffer·
Trump is reportedly preparing an executive order to ban transgender Americans from serving in the military. This would medically discharge 15,000 soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines. This is un-American and will make us less safe. But hey, a bunch of civilians on X love it.
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Todd Lunch
Todd Lunch@LunchTodd·
@Inevitablewest Send them to prison for a few years, or is 'two tier policing' a good thing now?
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Inevitable West
Inevitable West@Inevitablewest·
🚨BREAKING: Farmers will block EVERY road in Britain if Labour doesn’t listen to them on Nov 19th, claims lead organiser. The farmers are not messing about.
Inevitable West tweet media
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Todd Lunch
Todd Lunch@LunchTodd·
@anon_opin You work in retail/a restaurant and all of your staff think you're an idiot.
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Anon Opin.
Anon Opin.@anon_opin·
Support acts: people arriving mid-set have no way of knowing who you are. You need a logo banner on stage, to wear t-shirts with your name on and to restate who you are between every song.
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Todd Lunch
Todd Lunch@LunchTodd·
I didn't watch the 'fight' because my Internet couldn't connect. Much like the fighters.
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Andy Burnham
Andy Burnham@AndyBurnhamGM·
If I was still in Parliament, I would be bringing forward a Private Member’s Bill to ban international weekends.
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Todd Lunch
Todd Lunch@LunchTodd·
@fesshole What's wrong with a puddle, you posh twat.
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Fesshole🧻
Fesshole🧻@fesshole·
Got caught with my knob in the sink in the work toilets giving it a quick wash as I knew I was getting some from my gf after work. Panicked and pretended I was examining my balls for lumps. Got put on sympathy leave and had a blissful 3 weeks off doing sod all.
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Keşfet

@EricIdle @RequestABet @buymeacoffee @Nigel_Farage @DaftLimmy @JamesMoir10 @nancy_sorrell @mrkhndy