Mr Jels aka Carsehole (A certain sort of person)

Fuck You

@NUFCBadger @HorribleGrandma @Ronbo____ @fesshole @kuntandthegang They know full well I'm in the Kunts as I have to practice those 3 chords somewhere

@HorribleGrandma @Ronbo____ @fesshole @kuntandthegang Sounds like @MrJels

For the last 15 years I've become adept at explaining to office colleagues why I spent my weekend in random shitholes across the country, Newcastle to visit friends, Blackpool to see Pleasure Beach. Truth is I'm a singer in a sackably offensive touring punk band.

@mikefordhamvids U nevva herd of Ai dummy

I hope all these fuckwit flat earthers are paying attention #artemis #flatearthers

@VividProwess He is a fucking shitcunt of a man.

People seriously underestimate how popular Benjamin Netanyahu is across the world, even in the Arab world. He’s the one leader who’s shown the West how to fight radical Islam and terrorism without blinking. Unapologetic and unwilling to bow to anyone.

#Starmer should see if he can nab a 3-for-1 deal on having people removed from the House of Lords. Start with #Mandelson (endangered national security/cosied up to paedo), then Michelle #Mone (failed PPE contracts) and Evgeny #Lebedev (son of a KGB agent).

@wildcardspv Really!?! I'm mostly so weather jealous of anywhere north of Cambridge. You can keep the flooding and we'll keep the 'slightly' warmer summers, but could we please share the snow. My grandson is almost two and I haven't sent him hurtling down a slope on a plastic sheet yet...

@MrJels Same up north TBH these days, bring back 80s winters, when snow had pubes and wasn't scared of fucking shit up.

Bless the south east English weather It tries it's best to be like proper weather but it's just not very good at it #Arcticblast #1mmSnowfall

@intheeighties We should meet in an escape room to show our respects to Colonel Abrams #thankyouforyourservice

@NeonHooligan @TashP351 *The song was actually called 'Feltch Thing' Hope this clears things up

@MrJels @TashP351 That's a lot to unpack!

Not all knowledge is power.

@NeonHooligan @TashP351 A friends band in the 90s was called Feltch and their closer was a cover of Wild Thing but it was called Felch. The lead singer is now a church leader.

@TashP351 I remember learning what this was at like 12/13 because being a 90s teen pre-internet was all about inappropriate sex discussions 😂

@NeonHooligan The UK had fallen.

@MrJels Wait till I tell you about the great British pastime of horse racing...

Arabic numerals in schools! And now are Rizla have bean hijacked #muslamicinvasion #UKhasfallen

Will someone please put a gig on with @DaggerBros @bastard_petrol @PizzaTrampUK for fuck sake.... I'm sick to death of there not being this gig.

@NeonHooligan Errrmmm yeah spose

@MrJels I'm a fucking delight at all times 🤷🏻‍♀️

Absolutely physically incapable of waiting for the flash apparently - sorry @MrJels 😂

@NeonHooligan Good point well put. With that in mind, you were very well behaved all things considered.

@MrJels You remember the litre of jägermeister I'd consumed, right? We could consider this to have been a contributing factor...

@NeonHooligan Although true, I would of thought by the twelth flash....!

@MrJels Absolutely hit the nail on the head there! However, in my defence, I was not given clear instructions BEFORE the confusing "flash-inexplicable wait-photo" sequence began.

@csidewolf Thank you for your service

It's nearly £10 a bottle of Baileys season and I can't fucking wait

@csidewolf Correct.

@Truebluejock @kuntandthegang Big not smelly ffs

Never meet your heroes (and a man with a smelly arse)!