Ronnie

@thestrokes Rick Rubin should be tied up and blindfolded like a terrorist and made to listen to this on full blast for at least a week, there is no way he genuinely thinks this is good

“Falling out of Love” available now. Reality Awaits this summer. Art by Glenn Pruyn tr.ee/FallingoutofLo…

@thestrokes Turn off the autotune shit, it’s not too late to scrap the whole album

@NewStatesman No thanks, he only cares about northerners

How to get Andy Burnham back? One way forward would be for a current sitting MP – Ed Miliband, Angela Rayner  – to challenge Starmer for the leadership now, with the express and explicit intention of using their position as leader to recompose the NEC, bring Burnham back into parliament, and make way for him as leader and Prime Minister as soon as possible. Yes, the press would squawk about the bond markets. But Burnham could be brought into cabinet discussions as soon as the new leader were in place; that way, investors could be reassured that a consistent programme would be followed during the few weeks that it would take to complete this process: especially if, for example, caretaker PM Ed Miliband were to be appointed Chancellor of the Exchequer as soon as his more electable colleague was installed as Premier. ✍️ @jemgilbert newstatesman.com/comment/2026/0…

@fesshole Haha definitely a member of @kuntandthegang

For the last 15 years I've become adept at explaining to office colleagues why I spent my weekend in random shitholes across the country, Newcastle to visit friends, Blackpool to see Pleasure Beach. Truth is I'm a singer in a sackably offensive touring punk band.

@LBC @DamianCollins I’m sorry, but that reform idiot is talking absolute bollocks

‘If you act inappropriately, you’re kicked out of Reform.’ ‘Some would say Nigel himself acts inappropriately…’ Journalist Gavin Esler and @DamianCollins take Reform’s Andrew Rosindell to task over Farage’s decision not to declare a £5m donation.

@cyclingweekly Yeah but what bike was he riding? That’s what we all want to know.

Celebrity cyclist and A-list actor involved in angry altercation with ‘vigilante’ rider cyclingweekly.com/news/dude-you-…

@cquilty52 Hahahaha excellent

I've created a Zack Polanski CV generator which refreshes each time it's opened - so every time you see it there's new roles that Zack's worked in …ile-488554318091.europe-west2.run.app

@NoContextBrits Except that it’s simply not true and a load of horseshit

@PolitlcsUK @Telegraph Absolute bollocks, the Torygraph chatting shit yet again

🚨 NEW: Pint prices have hit £10 for the first time in London [@Telegraph]

@fesshole 100% read this in the voice of @jayrayner1

I'm a food critic for a number of major publications. I have eaten in some of the most exclusive restaurants in the world. My favourite dish is my own creation; a pickled onion nestled within a Quaver lightly sprinkled with finely grated partisan cheese & chili flakes. Delicious.

@implausibleblog This account has started saying anything to justify the Greens’ lunacy

Left: Fiona Bruce asks the Green's Rachel Millward about the head of the Met police criticising Zack Polanski for criticising the way the police apprehended the criminal in Golders Green #BBCQT Right: Criminal on the ground, tasered, and both policemen are kicking him in the head All of us are disgusted at the attack by the criminal, but is this really what we expect of our police, kicking a tasered man on the ground in the head repeatedly?

@implausibleblog The only thing green about the party is the magic money tree he thinks he’s going to pay for everything with

Zack Polanski explains the importance of having a proper nationalised bus service that is run for the people, not for profit

@RoughTrade Roy Ayers - Everybody Loves the Sunshine ☀️

What’s the first jazz record you’d hand to someone who “doesn’t like jazz”?

@BBCNews Pret is just Tory Greggs

Less bread and WFH Fridays – what Pret boss knows about our habits bbc.in/48t0uYG

@implausibleblog What an idiot

Zack Polanski says that if the Scottish people vote for parties that call for an independence referendum in the May elections Then they should automatically have the right for a referendum on independence

@jessicaelgot @kiranstacey He only cares about Northerners

“The focus groups I have seen are like actual gold dust. People say things like ‘he cares about people like us’. Do you know how rare it is to see that about a politician?“ Our read, on the consensus forming around Andy Burnham @kiranstacey theguardian.com/politics/2026/…

@I_amMukhtar Someone needs to add the Curb Your Enthusiasm music to this

Piers Morgan asked Russell Brand which passages were relevant to him when he brought a Bible into court.

@BritishComedy Now you’ve got Norfolks maddest man

Mystery surrounds why Mid Morning Matters With Alan Partridge was pulled from Netflix after a day, with viewers told that episodes they watched were never on the platform. comedy.co.uk/tv/news/8716/n…

@alrightfans These cunts should just stay in south west London, so no one else has to listen to their total bollocks

Making football for everyone was the worst thing they ever did to the game

@TheWorldCup_Of The Paul Weller haircut, wellends

coming soon: The World Cup of Haircuts. Qualifiers please gentlemen