Stuart Stanley

@anon_opin Currently sat on a Southbound Northern Line train. Can confirm this is true.

Drivers on the Northern Line should turn down the volume of their trains. The amount of squealing they make is not just ridiculous, it triggers "loud environment" alerts.

@anon_opin The Anthem by Good Charlotte taught us that back in 2002…

More than three shakes is a wank.

@VincentStops That’s Chiswick. But yes, let’s film him to prove our point. Because with no video footage, it didn’t happen, right?

This blind man has travelled by bus independently all his life. But he can no longer use this stop as he is must alight onto an island with no idea where he is and has a two-way cycle track to cross! The government has done this so cyclists ‘feel’ safe. Alt below.

@neilseanshowbiz @MayorofLondon @LDN_pressoffice @TfL I travel most days for work, and I see it at least two times a week. I’ve actually clocked someone about to walk through behind me when I was travelling for leisure with a buggy, and stopped just as I’d walked through because like fuck am I letting them through on my ticket.

A serious question for the mayor of London why should I pay for my ticket? @MayorofLondon @LDN_pressoffice @TfL #London #crime

@RobMarks2805 @LidlGB That’s an option too 😂

@LidlGB @MrStuartStanley How about you email your quality assurance director and get them to check, lazy

Hello @LidlGB, we’ve just enjoyed some of these. They were a solid 10/10. However, there’s a a typo on the box (“chicken tigh”)… I suggest you do a product recall and send them all my way… You know… For err, disposal. Do we have ourselves a deal?

@LidlGB Hi Steff, its 4335619325890 from Beddington Gardens, Wallington.

@MrStuartStanley Ooops! Can you please let us know the barcode number from the box and the store you purchased from, thanks. -Steff

@GriffinTheory @GriftReport Not true. Emergency stop button… “Oh no, little Timmy’s got his shoelaces caught in the steps!” Imagine wishing five minutes to find the person with the key 😂😂😂

It's become a new "trend" to turn off elevators and stand there blocking them to piss people off. What would you do?

@EssexgoonerMr That a card residents of the flats above the shops have to to avoid having to go to the public bins. Think of a key fob to get into a block of flats.

What is this!? Another UK Council taking the p*ss!

@dudinq__ youtube.com/shorts/dRE41eY…

@ayeshakhan7003 youtube.com/shorts/dRE41eY…

@anon_opin I think “drunk” is the keyword here.

English wine is not just acceptable it's amazing. The first glass is good, the second glass is better, and by the end of the bottle it's the best wine you've ever drunk.

Theoretically, if this @Matalan clothing rail falls on me, would I be eligible for compensation? Asking out of curiosity, of course.

@funboythree @anon_opin Agreed. Biggest mistake of my life was trying a toilet brush. I thought it was the same sort of principle as a toothbrush, but it’s just scratchy.

@MrStuartStanley @anon_opin People never mention the pain when they talk about toilet brushes. I’ll stick with paper thanks.

Toilet brushes are disgusting, just sitting there in their little pool of manky water. Just grab some toilet paper, wipe anything you need to away and then wash your hands properly instead.

Anyone made the “custardy” joke yet? #TowerofLondon #Protester #Crown

Willing to bet these are the same twats who I see jumping barriers daily! Meanwhile, I’m paying £10-13 a day to sit in paint fume filled carriages. @TfL, you need to eliminate the cause, not waste more money with 24/7 cleaning! #TfL #TakingFuckingLiberties standard.co.uk/news/transport…

As a maintenance manager, I’m horrified at the state of Angel station. Two escalators broken leaving just one operating so the entire station is exit only. Parts can take weeks to arrive, and the escalators are the longest on the tube network, but blimey, have a bit of planning!

This may be the best social media experiment or drama project I’ve ever seen on the internet. That, or these people need actual help…

@cb_doge I love the reversing cab… 😂

The cinematic quality Grok Imagine is pushing right now is wild.