NeoTrinity

@fesshole If you’re willing to put in the time in, why not learn some physics, become an expert then push the boundaries of human understanding. You could then apply to become a physics professor and you wouldn’t have to lie. Just wear a disguise in the chippy for maybe the next 20 years.

Beautiful young woman moved in next door. For some reason I have told her that I lecture physics at the university. I work at the chippy three streets away. Dreading her coming in.

@NE5westend We’ve hated them for decades up here. And no, I’m not a Rangers fan.

Can’t think of a more unlikeable team in world football than Celtic mind

@anon_opin Here’s an easy solution. Remove your own birthday from your accounts then ignore everyone else’s. Your b’day messages will dry up, because most people don’t actually know it, and the people who care will send cards. Engage on your own terms.

Social media has turned birthdays into a day of admin! Having to like every post & reply to every WhatsApp, all while worrying about missing someone's post or message & inadvertently upsetting them. Plus, the pressure of returning everyone's birthday wishes throughout the year.

@Glinner Apart from the inevitable blue hair, he reminds me of Roger Mellie from Viz.

This is ITV attempting to normalise men entering female-only spaces. Don't fall for it. Don't be groomed.

@DPJHodges Normally… yes!

So on Celtic v Hearts. Serious point. When Celtic's third goal goes in there are clearly 30 seconds of the match remaining. So the game has to restart. But it didn't. The game had to be abandoned because of the actions of the Celtic fans. Hearts players were assaulted. So in any normal circumstances surely that would mean the awarding of a 3-0 win to Hearts.

@dannyw1989 SFA Security Enforcer. Hearts don’t deserve it at the moment.

Right, I’ve got two potential McGhee japes to make heads explode on the Banto. Weighing up between man to get Hearts over the line next season or SFA Security Enforcer. Going to have a pint and mull this decision over. See where the wind takes me.

@marcp72 @campbellclaret @CelticFC @JamTarts What an absolute fucking melt!!! Just a clueless tourist fan.

@NeoTrinity101 @campbellclaret @CelticFC @JamTarts Check out this idiot’s master plan 🤣🤣🤣

What an amazing season (and final match) turnaround for @CelticFC ... Hard not to feel sorry for @JamTarts who have given 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 football the most remarkable season in decades but honestly Celtic is a truly magical club in so many ways. And surely Martin O’Neill wins SPOTY coach of the year plus lifetime achievement!! Ps news broadcasters - unless the 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 FA Cup Final ends 9-8 with ten red cards 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 title IS THE BIGGEST SPORTS STORY of the day !!

@pieandbov @CelticFC Match abandoned for crowd misconduct. 3-0 win awarded to Hearts.

Congratulations to @CelticFC, your Scottish Champions 2025-2026 🏆 A suitably chaotic end to an absolutely chaotic season.

@JamTarts St Johnstone fan here. I know it’s no consolation but the Jambos were brilliant this season. Everyone knows the final outcome is tainted. You were robbed.

@anon_opin They probably are getting paid though. Maybe they work flexible hours. Maybe they claim it as overtime. Maybe they’re self employed and are trying to run a business. Let people do whatever suits them.

Stop doing your work emails on the train out of your contracted hours unless you are specifically being paid to do so. You are giving your employer free labour. Read a fucking book.

@HumzaYousaf The rules need changed then. Most people wouldn’t move abroad to study, then go around telling their hosts how to run their country. If it was me, I wouldn’t even expect a vote. Maybe you wouldn’t understand. Perhaps this level of narcissism is common in politicians.

Shameful A young minority politician - who has broken no rules - is elected. Days after their election such is the abuse they suffer they have to be escorted by additional security staff. Those who have led the pile on to Q Manivannan should take a long hard look at themselves.

@MaeveHalligan Speaking as a concerned parent, this is one of the most forthright and eloquent speeches on this issue I’ve seen. Thank you 🙏

"No, I don't subscribe to this 'kindness' - I'll tell the truth instead." I spoke at the Cambridge Union last night about LGBs, children's safety and women's rights. Full video here:

@DreyfusJames That was absolutely tremendous. One of the most forthright and eloquent speeches on this issue I’ve seen. She is incredible.

Every word of this phenomenal speech is the truth. Cold, hard, ugly truths. Beautifully said. Put aside 11 minutes to watch.

@tonymantiz @PontistGirl Yes 👍

@NeoTrinity101 @PontistGirl Fr? Like Slim Shady?

Oxford University is older than the Aztec Empire.

@joshxhowie Did you even read the article @joshxhowie? In summary… The UK qualifies automatically and Boy George wasn’t representing the UK.

@GAZAWOOD1 Arab men love a sausage fest.

Thousands of videos from Gaza in the last few days depict parties, nightlife, and normal life - way beyond just marathons, football, and restaurants. The mainstream media is utterly broken.

@RaminNasibov Pablo Picasso was alive at the same time as Charles Darwin and Eminem.

What historical fact sounds fake but is true?

@TrueJester86 @HeidiBriones

@HeidiBriones Be vegan or vegetarian, and you will enjoy food more.

I wish chicken breast tasted better. I have no idea how you're all cooking it without it getting dry or chewy. Tips? I tend to skip it and cook thighs instead, but I need to up my protein.