SheepWreck

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SheepWreck

SheepWreck

@NrouteHQ

it’s a little bit funny

NYC Katılım Aralık 2012
3.6K Takip Edilen5.7K Takipçiler
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SheepWreck
SheepWreck@NrouteHQ·
I’m at my sister in law’s and my nephew is crying cuz he wants to go see Bohemian Rhapsody but his parents will not let him go. I asked will you let him go but no, they would not let him go
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SheepWreck
SheepWreck@NrouteHQ·
[buying duct tape on Amazon] Amazon: people who bought this also bought: 🔪 🔫 🔦 🍌
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SheepWreck
SheepWreck@NrouteHQ·
@OctopusCaveman You matter bro! More than you think. And your art is honest and lacks pretense. And that’s the person you are. That’s why so many people love you. It’s why I love you! Keep it going [bro hug emoji]
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octopus/caveman
octopus/caveman@octopuscaveman·
I hate my life. I wasted it trying to be an artist because I wanted to matter. I’m just a kid who was horribly sexually abused and survived so much fucking trauma. I should be proud that I’m as decent as I am but I’m still just sad I can’t be a person.
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SheepWreck
SheepWreck@NrouteHQ·
I say the Mob Museum should really be called the Whacks Museum
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MichaelTrying
MichaelTrying@MichaelTrying·
All the world's a Stage, and all the men and women merely retail employees at Stage.
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Meg the Magnificent 🏳️‍🌈
Therapist: Last week we discussed healthy coping mechanisms. Which one did you try? Me: *Opens giant purse full of cookies* Emotional support treats Therapist: *quits*
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Meg the Magnificent 🏳️‍🌈
Santa will rip those Dollar General panties right off your mom because she's a good girl
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Meg the Magnificent 🏳️‍🌈
Yes it's a long road to Hell, but it's ok. I brought snacks. Care for some popcorn? Gummy bears?
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KattsDogma
KattsDogma@KattsDogma·
if i worked in the lamps dept at Home Depot, i’d greet every customer with “welcome to the finial frontier. watt LED you here? and why you throwing shade? ok let’s not harp on it. socket to me, bb” and other stupid things
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Chad Read
Chad Read@squirrel74wkgn·
One of the two sock factories in my hometown has disappeared and no one can find it.
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Nonchalant Charlotte
Nonchalant Charlotte@jellybnbonanza·
Don’t forget to stop by a Stuckey’s on your road trip home for last minute Christmas presents that you couldn’t be bothered to buy before.
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Nonchalant Charlotte
Nonchalant Charlotte@jellybnbonanza·
You know my good buddy Richard Vagart? Well, one time he let me and four other girls pretend to beat him up next to this busy street and when someone pulled over the girls and I ran off and the guy in the car said, “Are you okay, son?” And I’m not even shitting you!
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Nonchalant Charlotte
Nonchalant Charlotte@jellybnbonanza·
If you don’t fart when you do a burpee it doesn’t count.
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Nonchalant Charlotte
Nonchalant Charlotte@jellybnbonanza·
My husband put his hand on my belly for our Christmas photo and when I saw it, I made him delete it because I don’t want to have to explain to our family that I’m not pregnant, just bloated.
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Nonchalant Charlotte
Nonchalant Charlotte@jellybnbonanza·
I feel like my life has been a like a snow globe recently that keeps getting shaken up every time the snow settles.
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Nonchalant Charlotte
Nonchalant Charlotte@jellybnbonanza·
I was yesterday years old when I found out my husband doesn’t like cilantro which sucks for him because I’ve been putting it in everything since we got married.
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Nonchalant Charlotte
Nonchalant Charlotte@jellybnbonanza·
Puts the mayo in chocolate cake
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