Patrick Bohan

Get a FREE audiobook sample, full supplementary eBook, and first chapter of my upcoming YA Fantasy, OCCULT JENGA! 🧙‍♂️🎲 You'll also get a query letter template if you sign up between now and March. Thanks, #WritingCommunity! Appreciate you all. patrickbohanbooks.com

Kitty loved this so much that he started making biscuits in the air 😹😻😻

@SimoneHCollins greater replacement theory

Trying for our fifth kid. Fingers crossed! 🤞🍀

Did we do it, did we save the daylight

@VeryBadLlama "b-but my extra hour. where is it"

happy “supposed to be an extra hour of sleep but probably going to turn into an extra hour of being awake on the computer” night to all who celebrate

God promised the next mass genocide of humanity would not be from a flood. While many expected fire, none expected the fire would be the bonfire of their own vanity leading many sinners to cease reproducing. 🤠

@SimoneHCollins @LEGO_Group stepping on legos. our most effective birth control

Some kids' toys seem to have only been invented by antinatalists to torture parents by functioning as plastic shrapnel bombs. E.g., consider these @LEGO_Group "extra dots" —effectiely LEGO herpes, as once they enter your home, you'll NEVER be free of 'em. They'll be EVERYWHERE.

We just watched Jurassic World with our kids—they LOVED it. Not scared at all. Night before we re-watched Turning Red. "I can't watch!" said one, running from the room & covering his eyes. But we're glad our kids are more afraid of under-age sex work than the Indominus rex.

@allieiswriting 9k. I kept maybe 2k of them.

What’s the most words you’ve written in a day? (tweets do not count)

Holy shit, Kurt Vonnegut, who taught creative writing, with mad shade at English departments.

@PKBohan sir, you are at meme level on FB. Congrats! 🤣🤣🤣

@usualbookspect incredibly based

Two of my beautiful cats, brothers Horatio and Sheldon, hanging out on one of my bookcases #caturday #booksandcats

The truth will set you free

@Foxmental_X My writing process is releasing a dozen cats onto a dozen keyboards covered in cream

@JUSPRA1 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

@authorjessowen 🙏

@PKBohan 🤣

@hwjohnston7 I always feel better seeing Newman

@PKBohan I feel a lot better seeing this.

@GaultierCindy copy and paste that damned badge, seize the means of badge production 😤

@PKBohan But then nanowrimo won’t give me that damned badge

@lierinMY It's lonely here in the mines of Moria

@PKBohan DON'T COME AT ME PATRICK I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.

@Atypeofwriter my t-rex costume keeps me motivated