Blissy

Good luck finding a better piece of shit than me.

@Arrogant_Twat Sounds like a perfect morning to me. It’s a great game!!

@Arrogant_Twat Pfft, I’m a 5 star complainer.

@Arrogant_Twat I thought you were aware you’d signed up for the complainer’s special when you took me on a hike in the Phoenix sun. I, for one, had a great time bitching about everything whilst surrounded by all those beautiful cactus. 🌵🌵

@WhismanSucks My allergies are so bad lately I feel like I’m straight up snorting lines of pollen.

Me: Nothing can stop me today. Pollen and wind:

@Arrogant_Twat Don’t try and prematurely pin your death on me and my bad mood! The heat and sun will *definitely* kill a Canadian. I can’t wait for you to enjoy all the suffering AZ has to offer!! 🥵🦂🌵☀️🔥

@WhismanSucks It’s like 2007 era Affliction shirt, but 1000 times worse.

Pretty appropriate titles to sing for a man in a jacket made by a guy who rapes children.

@WhismanSucks For a six month stretch of the year, eating soup in Phoenix can fuck all the way off. There’s no way you love a hot bowl of soup in July.

People who don’t like soup also drown kittens and kick puppies. Absolute monsters.

@KevinRyanComedy @FukUrLiberalBS Brokeback Garbage!

@FukUrLiberalBS 😂😂😂

I’m 2 episodes into Yellowstone and already looking at ranches on Zillow.

@PaperWash Temporarily? Pfft. Go big or go home.

dating is fun its like "hey wanna temporarily ruin each other?" and then you do

@thoapacabra So am I. We’re on the FastTrak.

@paulabuko Thank you!! I love you 💖💖💖

@PyrBliss to the one and only... love you!!! Hope you are having a great day 🥂❤️🎂🎁🎉💫💕🎊

@TheBrandonScott Omg SAME. It startles the fuck out of me too.

Hey Instagram: I want to listen to the audio of one video. Not EVERY video.

@thoapacabra Lol, you could not be more wrong but you are also too funny!! :)

@darinlovesbacon As someone who has a serious addiction to the eggs and won’t give cups a second look, I think it’s because there’s so much more peanut butter and a thinner chocolate coating on the eggs. Or maybe it’s bc eggs are a once a year thing. Either way, YUM 🧡💛🧡

Seriously why do the Reece's peanut butter eggs taste a thousand times gooder than the regular cups???

@John_M15 I feel like a better excuse to tell the cops would be that he was horny. It’s almost understandable. (Not really) But lonely? That’s just pathetic lol

@WookieJon I’ve thought that before as well! Like, how much therapy will this person need to deal with the trauma of what can’t be unseen!

@HellSpohn This reply caught me off guard and I laughed so fucking hard!

@PyrBliss You gotta sign a waiver to see mine as they violate two of the Geneva Conventions.

@OfficeofSteve First of all, Mr Difficult, ITS THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS!

@PyrBliss I lost you when you bought me that gun rack. I don't even A gun

@TheWinegasm Same. Also, this a handy shopping list.

@tdjukic I can’t tell if this is a compliment or an insult, so the answer is obviously yes.