Joe Martin

🚨 Donald Trump says the US has experimental drugs that can bring dead people back to life.

@MattWalshBlog He doesn't even look that good.

I would rather be dead than live my life like this

@RazorFist At the next cabinet meeting...

I'm just saying Netanyahu is mighty chatty for a guy who died at the beginning of the Iran War.

@TheGameVerse And then they all go bowling

💀💀💀

@TheRichieAprile Not Benny Fazio, criminal mastermind?

Can we all agree that this is the main villain of The Sopranos?

Studios may have gone too far with the recently released 4K Blu-ray of 1979’s Alien as the transfer to higher definition also added back in the fur of Sigourney Weaver’s beaver.

@PlatinumPerry You came close to literally killing the guy in the cage. No need to see Diaz against anyone anymore for the sake of his family.

They’re really talking about this rematch…

@damienfarronMMA That's Bryan Callen

Would you still like Ilia Topuria if he was balding?

@Lordmiles The spirit of Our Dear Leader flows through you now

They don’t want you to smoke cigarettes for a reason…. I’ve been smoking some North Korean cigarettes and I’ve noticed a great boost in mental clarity and vigor, I’m energized. This is MEDICINE!

Earned £49 last night as I went back to doing Amazon Flex deliveries for the first time since April 2022 🚗📦 If you’ve never heard of it, you basically deliver Amazon parcels in your own car using their app for navigation + parcel scanning. Really simple once you get going. The algorithm gods sent me miles away though, so it ended up being about a 50 mile round trip ⛽️ Still, £49 for 2.5hrs with guaranteed money isn’t bad compared to food delivery where you can sit around waiting for orders. That now puts me on £80 extra this week 💰 Probably keep £30 aside for petrol/tax and put £50 straight into investments 📈

@Keir_Starmer Are you for the chop?

These are tough results for Labour. There’s no sugarcoating it. We’ve lost brilliant Labour representatives who’ve stood up for their communities. People are still frustrated. Their lives aren’t changing fast enough. We haven’t offered enough hope or optimism for the future. I was elected to change this country - tough days like this don’t weaken my determination to do that. They strengthen it.

They couldn't have picked a WORSE example. They went out of their way to use the apathetic Ms. Hoover who doesn't actually care about teaching her students and is only there to collect a paycheck. What character are they gonna use next, Crocker? 😂 Hell, even friggin' Baldi is a better example because at least he wants his students to do well in math.

@DaCoffeeChicory She gave him her life on a silver platter!

Her own husband , 40 grand out the birdfeeder

@NostalgiaPro U2. Because every time Bono clicks his fingers somebody dies. What a sicko!

You have the power to completely erase one band from the timeline. Their albums disappear, the tours never happen, and the cultural memory is wiped clean. Who gets wiped from history?

@CompositeGuy_ The guy is a Walter Mitty living in a complete fantasy world paid for by the desperate people he claims to be helping.

In his debate with Gary Priestley, Gary Stevenson claims he makes so much money on the markets, his kids will be multimillionaires, while also claiming that everyone else cannot afford to feed their kids or keep the heating on. Strange then, that after a hiatus last year, his return video announced the launch of his Patreon, directly asking his audience, whom he describes as struggling, to fund his work. He explained that, despite his massive personal wealth, he needs their support to create more 'ambitious' and 'creative' content beyond simple talking-head videos. Yet since launching the Patreon, he has released 22 videos in the exact same format, with fewer guests than in earlier periods. He has 2,121 paid subscribers on Patreon, meaning that at a minimum he makes £153k a year from his viewers. He likely makes a similar amount from ad revenue alone, let alone the millions he claims to make on the markets. His entire platform is built on the idea that the rich extract wealth from everyone else. The brazen hypocrisy of him doing this to his own viewers, in the most direct way possible, is incredible.

@OldRoberts953 Dunning-Kruger in action

My god this is excruciating.

@mihtochondria @GreenTextRepost

@RochamboRambo @GreenTextRepost like I give two shits

sad

@jwalkermobile I wonder how much parodies affect our memories of movie quotes?

I think I remember all of these incorrectly, how about you?

@donfryeusa A 10% off Venum voucher would be the best those cheap SOBs would offer.

works for me... as long as I get paid for it