Samurai Says!!

@CNN Real Headline: Publicist attempts to make 1000-year old senile racist appeal to young people by staging hot mike incident.

President Joe Biden was caught on microphone using profanity while speaking with Fort Myers Beach Mayor Ray Murphy: cnn.it/3Vaa2j4

@ABC Imagine this guy trying to decide where to eat lunch.

BREAKING: Tesla CEO Elon Musk proposed the completion of a deal to acquire Twitter at the original offer price of $54.20 a share, reversing a monthslong effort to terminate the agreement. abcn.ws/3fGARer

@Marina_Sirtis Yeah you showed that guy. Most people hate to hear from their favorite celebrities. Stop encouraging people

@POTUS No. oligarchy. Go back to civics class, sir.

democracy

@CNN You done broke it

breaking news

@POTUS Then we'll have dinner food at the restaurant diner

I am determined to ban assault weapons in this country. I did it once before, and we will do it again.

Replace "All I want for Christmas Is You" with "The Christmas Truce" by Sabaton - Sign the Petition! chng.it/HbDgT4VNpH via @Change #christmas2022

@RalphGarman I ordered this steakhouse rare not well-done

NOOOOOOOOOOO!

@Unclekage @anthrocon I met you at Anthrocon and I think we shared one and a half word before you have to go off to stop a riot or something. Hard working guy right here

@AdamKinzinger Thanks for letting everyone know what Trump is doing. Weird how people who hate him are the only ones bringing him up on Twitter. Way to keep his legacy alive, idiots.

Awe. Looks like someone is a bit nervous. “PERFECT”

@FINALLEVEL Sure would be nice if the issue was that simple. Pretending is fun!

AMERICAN BS…

@POTUS Primary Objective: Make Biden look good for the election. Secondary objective: deliver formula in the most expensive impractical way possible

Folks, I’m excited to tell you that the first flight from Operation Fly Formula is loaded up with more than 70,000 pounds of infant formula and about to land in Indiana. Our team is working around the clock to get safe formula to everyone who needs it.

@BADG3RMANTV @thehill So it does from totally impossibly to completely impossible

#BREAKING: Fauci says he would not serve under Trump again hill.cm/PJSIDwv

@RalphGarman He directed Captain Eo and dammit he deserves to be honored for it

I once went to interview him at his home. He answered his own door, which totally threw me. No publicist/handler. He asked me if I wanted a cappuccino. I said "Sure," expecting him call out to some assistant. He got up, went into the kitchen, and made it for me himself. So kind.

@ThatKevinSmith People said Vice McMahon shouldnt be productive the Oscars this year but boy did he make bit exciting lol

I was dead asleep. Not as a statement about the Oscars at all - I’ve just been under the weather all weekend. Then I was suddenly awakened with hails of texts from everyone I ever met. My first thought was something bad happened to someone I love. Turns out it did.

@NotHoodlum I don't see any link so it's like you're telling me the supreme court exists

BREAKING: US Supreme Court.

@SethMacFarlane Yes the side that agrees with you are the noble and pure ones. That's wishful thinking

@Sheyonni_Kat Your art makes lots of people happy. Because your art is cute and there ain't enough cute in the world.

@J_Dolci5 In truth it might take one or two muggers or rapists being shot for criminals to get the message, but thats a price I'd pay. #sadbuttrue

Frankly...this makes me a bit scared to go to Ohio?