Stewart King

@TheFigen_ Ashes from the phoenix.

This is awesome! artist Ravi Pyronix

@ESPNcricinfo Suspect it overweights playing in a poor team. So no Viv Richards for example.

Who's the best Test batter of all-time? Anantha Narayanan ranks them using a comprehensive set of parameters espncricinfo.com/story/who-s-th…

Hey @Crufts #crufts2026 just reminding you we are a nation of dog lovers . Let me know if you want a bag , because top dogging a poor animal with exaggerated features associated with discomfort and pain and a person convicted of animal abuse shows you’ve trodden right in it

“Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?” Nate White, an articulate and witty writer from England wrote the following response: A few things spring to mind. Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace – all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed. So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief. Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing – not once, ever. I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility – for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman. But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is – his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty. Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers. And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults – he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness. There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface. Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront. Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul. And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist. Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat. He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege. And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully. That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead. There are unspoken rules to this stuff – the Queensberry rules of basic decency – and he breaks them all. He punches downwards – which a gentleman should, would, could never do – and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless – and he kicks them when they are down. So the fact that a significant minority – perhaps a third – of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think ‘Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that: • Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are. • You don’t need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man. This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss. After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum. God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid. He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart. In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws – he would make a Trump. And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish: ‘My God… what… have… I… created?' If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set.

@waychee1 Are you? Never heard of you.

I'm the face of modern England.

I've plotted the most expensive McDonald's burger and the least expensive MacBook over time. This analysis projects that the most expensive burger will be more expensive than the cheapest laptop as soon as 2081

@ESPNcricinfo Has to be Farhan.

Who is your pick? 🌟

I don’t want my tax being spent on facilitating the return of these extremists from Dubai to the UK. They clearly despise our culture and way of life and they should seek refuge in the first safe country they arrive in. Am I doing this right?🤔

My latest cartoon for tomorrow's @Telegraph Buy a print of my cartoons at telegraph.co.uk/mattprints Original artwork from chrisbeetles.com

💥BREAKING NEWS💥 @RobertJenrick has defected to @TheGreenParty following their win in Gorton and Denton. Jenrick is alleged to have justified his second defection in as many months by telling voters: “I’ve always been a vegan.”

@TheM0ngies @FGRFC_Official The most obvious red I've seen.

@FGRFC_Official That’s a yellow at worst. Not sure why you’re posting this?

🙃 #WeAreFGR💚

@TomCarter009 He's 5 yards away with clear line of sight!!

@SeaBirdForms Unbelievable isn't it. He's got a clear line of sight!

I would happily pay more council tax if my council replied to imbeciles in this way.

Epstein: king says law must take its course when it comes to allegations of state secrets. When it comes to alleged abuse of women he and his family pay a reported £12 million to prevent the law taking its course…

@fotofacade Heartily recommended.

🤔 In case you didn't know - here's a bit more about me and my work, my values, my hopes and fears as a creative in today's world: digest.andymarshall.co/about-2/ - please share if you can. Thank you. ☺️

Morning Matt (@GoodwinMJ), I was looking at your pinned post and I have some questions, which I think the good people of Gorton and Denton deserve the answers to They shouldn't be too taxing for someone seeking to be their elected representative.... #GortonandDentonByElection

@DavidJav9954 @FGRFC_Official @SmythsToysUK Not arguing with that. We played like an under 13s on the local park in the first half on Saturday. Unbelievable. Anyway, a nice trip for your guys and I'm sorry the away stand is so shit.

@SeaBirdForms @FGRFC_Official @SmythsToysUK I think everyone knows that about York and Rochdale, probably doesn't say much for FGR if we're ordinary. A lot of us day we're shite in fact 😂 we all just enjoy laughing at FGR weird stats that they love

⚽️Kyle McAllister was named the @SmythsToysUK POTM in yesterday's game against Carlisle. #WeAreFGR 💚

@DavidJav9954 @FGRFC_Official @SmythsToysUK No problem with the stats. FGR's problem (as the stats show) is putting the ball in the net and basic defending. Carlisle looked very ordinary on Saturday and we just gave them the game. York and Rochdale comfortably the best teams in this league.

@FGRFC_Official @SmythsToysUK I need to know how much was on the voucher, can he afford any early learning toys? He'll be able to learn stats & percentages 1 one day