BLACKSTAR@Art444Star
I wrote this the last time you freaks got mad at anime depicting disabled people being worthy of love, but didn't post it, so enjoy (1/3):
The phrase "Men want to be needed" can come off as sinister, if you're predisposed to paranoia or if your brain has been primed to be paranoid by decades of propaganda.
Because what that phrase turns into, in the mind of a person like that, is "Men want to be depended on"
Which sounds like a distinction without a difference but it isn't.
The propaganda that comes from people who's brains have been melted by True Crime documentaries, present the natural and wholesome desire that all good, well-raised and well-adjusted men have that makes them feel the need to provide value for others, as the desire to keep others, specifically women, as dependent on them for everything and thus unable to escape them.
I discussed at great length how independence is a myth in another piece. You are always relying, have relied and always will rely on another person to some extent, and it is not in total atomisation but in correctly selecting who to rely on and to what extent that you find true happiness, so I'll focus on the other side of this here.
There's an old, I think Tumblr, post where the OP described overhearing two men talking, where a skinny guy describes the reason why he wants to become jacked.
The reason being that he wants to be "the guy" that people call to move stuff, like if you need help moving a fridge, your friend will go "Oh don't call a mover, I'll just call my friend, Larry, and he'll do it."
Without realising it, the man in the story, and the poster, captured the essence of true masculinity in this story.
True masculinity is the desire to "be the guy" that people go to, for whatever your chosen skill is.
"Being the man" doesn't mean having a beard or having muscles or wearing a suit and trousers instead of a skirt, "Being THE man" means "Being the man that people go to for a service."
"Men want to be needed" is therefore a mistake, it is more "Men need to provide."
It is not that men need to be relied upon, it is that men need to be useful.
This is the essence of Chivalry.
It is not that the lady can't open the door for themselves, it is not that they are frail and weak and lack the agency to open their own doors, it is that they shouldn't have to and that the (capital M) Man is there to provide the service of opening the door.
And importantly, the door that the lady points to.
"A man may be the head of the house, but a woman is the neck and she can turn the head any way she wants. "
Whatever skill or service a man may excel at, be it plumbing, DIY, woodworking, textiles and sewing, beekeeping, interior decorating, painting, masonry, surgery, when a man is called upon to perform the task he excels at and does well and is rewarded, whether financially or socially, for at least a few minutes, that man is in heaven.