Amii Cale 🏎🏎🏁🏁

@swearyprof @flea333 @arttavana 🤣😂

@flea333 @arttavana I'm not sure if RHCP are from California, as they never mention it in their songs

Sublime, The Doors, and Los Lobos are the most LA bands of all time.

@upshine3 I have 3 😂

Does anyone else have a couch blanket? Like a blanket that stays on your couch that you use when relaxing or is it just me?

@JustMissEmma 😂🤣

Note to self… don’t rub your eye, then itch your nose whilst wearing false lashes… (Sat on train for a good hour like this)

@deathtospinach I’m sitting on a bus trying to control my mirth (not very successfully, sadly) I may get booted off before my stop if I can’t bring myself under some kind of control. It’s been a long day….

Some of you may remember that a while ago I started a relationship with my Hollywood crush Sam Neill Things are moving forward…

@LORDLJS @fesshole It cost over £900 to clear my Dad’s bedsit when he passed. It’s ridiculously expensive to get places cleared as well as sad. I’m chucking out stuff now!

If you've ever been the executor of a will that involves clearing out a house, you can identify with this. Did it for an 80 year old relative, outlived siblings and had no children. A sobering experience essentially tossing out large parts of their lives, trinkets, clothing etc Really changed what I buy if it's not actually practical.

I can't explain it but at the age of 33 I've become obsessed with decluttering in case I die abruptly and my wife is left with all my shit. Started selling a bunch of stuff and using the money for experiences and holidays rather than just shit. Feel so much better.

@JaneFallon AI is the bane of my existence

I’ve taken the post about the obituary down, because I don’t want people to think I’m upset by it. I’m not. Pissed off yes. But more, I just want people to know that any photos you see of me in hospital, looking sad or with tubes sticking out of me are 100% fake - AI generated

@dog_rates He deserves all the snacks in the universe! ❤️🐶

This is Breuer. He's here to let you know it's National Puppy Day. Doesn't know what that means but hopes it involves snacks. 12/10

@dog_rates I was privileged enough to see him with my own eyes! What an honour 🐶❤️

This is Fidèle. He's the most photographed dog in the world. He napped on that windowsill over the Groenerei canal in Bruges for over a decade. Tour boats paused so visitors could take photos of Fidèle. He passed away in 2016, but not before making millions of people smile. 14/10

@Vetteleclerc It must be the battery 🪫 😩

Charles Leclerc post sprint race team radio (P2): "What happened? Why did I not have the full power?" Bryan: "You used all…." #ChineseGP

@deathtospinach I was lucky enough to see you in Bath and really enjoyed your conversation. Your book(s) are so necessary, unfortunately x

A very personal post from me this morning. I was in an abusive relationship years ago (two in fact, but in different ways). I was also an online gambling addict for some time. I spent over three weeks in a psychiatric hospital and have been under psychiatrists since I was a child. I have borderline personality disorder, which I take medication for, and I have various physical health conditions which mean I cannot work full time. However, this is not a post about self-pity. Quite the opposite. It is about how someone CAN achieve pockets of success despite their past and present struggles. And how someone CAN be proud of their fight and their achievements. Two years ago my first book, Keanu Revees is Not in Love with You, was published and went down way better than I ever expected. My second book, The Future of Fraud, is out next month and I hope will be of interest to people. I now speak at conferences over the world and am regularly called upon by The Times to write about fraud. This is not a post about showing off for the sake of it. This is a post about celebrating the wins in life and not being shy to announce that you’re doing well. I don’t know if the success will be short-lived or will carry on for a while longer but I’d like to thank every one who has liked my Twitter posts, bought my books and been encouraging as I’ve grown. I think you’re all awesome. 🙏

@Matt_Pinner Tank

Help me out: I need a highly specific, aggressively masculine name for a tiny Chihuahua puppy. Nothing cute. I'm desperate.

@MattP1Gallagher My husband said the exact same thing! It was a pretty crap impression but at least he tried🤣

Did George... just do a Borat impression?

@MBrundleF1 I admire your confidence Mr Brundle!

Despite all the doubts and high level criticism about F1 2026 I’m totally relaxed after day one of action. The cars look great and very lively, and the drivers heroic whilst wrestling significantly lower grip, and I’m confident it’s going to be a competitive and unpredictable season.

@Osirisassad Absolutely, yes!🙌🏻

Do y'all openly say "love you" in your friendships?

@MrPitbull07 You just got adopted. Roll with it(literally)

We are in a campground and this cat basically seems to have adopted us. Campgroud host said he’s been hanging around for about two years now and seems to do just fine however he’s on his own when winter comes. Otherwise he gets food and attention from campers. He jumped right into my camper and made himself at home. We have grown fond of him, he’s so chill, very affectionate, loves to talk and follows me around. Sometimes i have to coax him out of the camper and he resists. We are leaving in the morning and camp host said if I’d like to take him then go ahead. She didn’t have any idea where he came from or anything about him. What do you think, Should I leave him alone in the only home he knows or give him a loving home and take him. I don’t know how he would be with traveling. He seems happy and content but deserves a good home too. Here’s a few pics. Im torn on what to do.

@deathtospinach Happy Valentines, you two xx

Three and a half years ago, as part of the research for my first book, I logged onto Tinder searching for scammers Instead, I met this bloke He is the partner I never thought I’d be lucky enough to find And he still hasn’t asked me for an iTunes voucher!

@fesshole I have outlived all the females in the last 4 generations of my family. I am only 60. It scares the shit out of me.

A calculation website told me that today I have lived exactly the same amount of years and days that my mother lived. Assuming I wake up tomorrow morning, I will begin a day she never experienced. That makes me feel far weirder than actually getting old.

@ConceptMayhem @fesshole Not sure we are 🤣

@fesshole How are you Brits real people??

My friend nicknamed his broom Simon at work. No harm done, just makes the day go quicker. Only became a problem when a new manager started, and nearly had a heart attack when he was told "I'm going home, so I've locked Simon in the cupboard."

@jan_murray I am still waiting for my “fast track” physio appointment 2 months on… lucky for me my problem disappeared on its own. Maybe that was the treatment?!

My daughter has a long-standing medical condition. A blood test before Christmas flagged a problem. She can see the abnormal results on the NHS app. It took three weeks to get a GP phone appointment - to be told what she already knows (including the treatment ‘next steps’). The appointment window was “any time that day.” The call came during a university lecture. She stepped outside. It rang off before she could answer. She immediately tried to call back. No answer. No option to leave a voicemail. No option to email either - according to the website. But miss three telephone calls and you get struck off. This is also the GP surgery that gave her a blood test form with another patient’s full name, date of birth and address - and then asked her to walk 25 minutes in the dark to return it. Luckily, she has me - and I’m persistent. Many wouldn’t be - or don’t have anyone to help them navigate the system. This is what access to healthcare now looks like.

@MercedesAMGF1 @Microsoft @GeorgeRussell63

Huge day for guys who love PowerPoint 💻