Island Girl

Happily ever after is a moving target.

It’s not hoarding if it’s organized.

Thanks United @united My family and I are stuck in Cancun as my flight to Houston was canceled. What’s going on?

*actually finishes a game of Monopoly*

Relatives who bring their pets to visit are a special breed.

Let’s travel and I’ll make you laugh while we wait for airplanes

25 year old coworker: please stop saying “stupid,” it’s politically incorrect and hurtful Me: what are you stupid?

I am here. You are there. Let’s meet in the middle….

Forever waiting and dabbling in futile endeavors

She complained to me that she found her boyfriend’s picture on a dating sight then got mad at me for asking why she was on the site. I should never answer my phone pre coffee.

It’s not that you’re not funny, it’s that your humor is very subtle. Also, you’re not funny

You say introvert, I say the star of my own movie.

Me: I’m going to wear my bougie Hawaiian shirt tonight Wife: You don’t understand what bougie means

Tomorrow is just another day.

Fuck resolutions. Just set goals.

Smiling is a sign you can consciously or unconsciously accept your current situation.

Its Always About The People Who Remain Sincere Behind your Back.

New year new me but from my comfy chair.

I’ve already eaten my New Year’s Eve snacks so I may have to cancel the party. Darn.

@tsm560 You win!!!! I have declared. Competition over.

We’re all getting unsuspended it’s not a competition